The Heart of the Matter August 31, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness.comments closed
Listen to your heart, it’s calling to you.
Be guided by the heart in all you do.
To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
LOVE is such a big word . . . it really should have more letters! ~ Kobi Yamada
You have not lived a perfect day unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you. ~ Ruth Smeltzer
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. ~ Unknown
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller
The first duty of love is to listen. ~ Paul Tillich
If you can’t be with the one you love, dive headfirst into a box of chocolate!
Aah . . . that’s better!
Fifty Dollars August 30, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, People.comments closed
Morris and his wife Esther went to the State Fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”
Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”
One year, Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, “Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”
To this, Esther replied, “Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”
The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you! But if you say one word, it’s fifty dollars.”
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went.
The pilot put the craft through all kinds of maneuvers, but not a word was heard. Up, down, back and forth, even sideways, he did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”
Morris replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!”
Source: e-mail from unknown author
A Sense of Humor August 29, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Health & Wellness, Humor.comments closed
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher
Laughter shortens the distance between people.
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh. ~ the Koran
The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer everybody else up. ~ Mark Twain
When we stop taking ourselves so seriously, we become ever so much happier!
“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” ~ William James
Not being happy during Happy Hour is a self-defeating way to go through life.
“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.” ~ William Arthur Ward
Life improves with laughter. ♥ ♥ ♥
Aah . . . that’s better!
You Don’t Know Jack Schitt August 28, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.comments closed
As a follow-up to yesterday’s post . . .
Most of us are at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’
Now, you can set them straight:
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.
They had one son, Jack.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.
The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and later married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with an Italian bride, Pisa Schitt, and three children: Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Holie Schitt, the most devout of the six Schitts, entered the priesthood.
Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.
This Geneology Record prepared by: Crock O. Schitt
Aah . . . that’s better!
Source: e-mail from an unknown author.
You Don’t Know Jack August 27, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Health & Wellness, Life Balance, People.comments closed
Watched another thought-provoking film this week ~ You Don’t Know Jack.
The documentary addressed the efforts of Jack Kevorkian to assist terminally ill patients to end their lives with dignity.
He believed that we should have the freedom to choose to die when we’ve had enough . . . without having to shoot ourselves, dowse ourselves with gasoline, slash our wrists, strangle ourselves, wrestle crocodiles, or dive off buildings or bridges without a safety net.
Just breathe . . . relax . . . and check out in peace.
Aah . . . that’s better!
An Exception To Every Rule August 26, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Word Play.comments closed
Nothing ventured, nothing gained . . . but look before you leap.
The early bird gets the worm . . . but the early worm gets eaten.
Good things come to those who wait . . . but he who hesitates is lost.
Slow and steady wins the race . . . but good guys finish last.
Ignorance is bliss . . . but know thy enemies.
A rolling stone gathers no moss . . . but haste makes waste.
Honesty is the best policy . . . but if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder . . . but out of sight, out of mind.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush . . . but nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Birds of a feather flock together . . . but opposites attract.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Can you think of other perplexing anomalies to the proverbs we parrot?
Picking A Prickly Pineapple August 25, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Home & Garden, Humor.comments closed
In May, we noticed a pineapple growing in our courtyard:
By mid-July, it had quite a regal crown:
And then it stopped growing and started ripening. So I picked it:
To give you a bit of perspective, here’s my best Carmen Miranda imitation:
Growing pineapples is NOT a get-rich-quick scheme!
Aah . . . that’s better!
A Scottish Love Story August 23, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.comments closed
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently.
Then the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
“Well, uh, I was thinkin… perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”
The girl blushed, leaned over, and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
Minutes passed and the girl spoke again. “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus?”
“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo aboot time for a wee cuddle.”
The girl blushed, leaned over, and cuddled him for a few seconds.
The two turned again to the loch.
After a while, she whispered, “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”
The young man glanced down with a furled brow, “Well, noo, my thoughts are a wee bit more serious.”
“Really?” said the lass in a whisper.
“Aye,” said the lad, nodding.
The girl looked away and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.
Reaching out, he turned her face to his and said, “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first two pennies?”
Och . . . that’s a wee bit better!
Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)
An Unwanted Visitor August 22, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Health & Wellness, Humor.comments closed
I stepped outside to go for a walk and came face-to-face with a 4-foot-long black racer.
I retraced my steps and raced inside.
Exercise is over-rated.
Aah . . . that’s better!
The Best Is Yet To Come . . . August 21, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness.comments closed
We have a message board outside the clubhouse for announcements.
When there isn’t a 4-foot-long gator in one of the lakes or an upcoming social event looming on the horizon, the board is used to post inspirational sayings, trivia questions, etc.
* Kindness Echoes
* Who Shot J.R.?
* Shift Happens
* Which 2 vegetables are perennials?
Yesterday, the board announced:
THE BEST IS YET TO COME
Hmm . . . I’m not convinced.
“The best is yet to come” is one of those rather ridiculous “truisms” we intone with great regularity to remind ourselves to “keep on trucking.”
I don’t think it’s a true statement. Not for most of us, anyway. At best, the best is yet to come for some of the people, some of the time.
Unless, maybe, it’s meant in the collective sense.
Once global warming and climate change and melting glaciers wipe man off the face of the planet, animals like the Black Rhino may breathe a sigh of relief:
Now, that’s good. In fact, it’s the best!
God should NEVER have taken that extended sabbatical after Day 7. He should have pushed through the burn straight into Day 8.
But that’s only in the collective sense.
On an individual basis, how many of us really believe that “the best is yet to come”?
Kids, sure ~ especially in the days leading up to Christmas.
Young adults, maybe ~ until the bills start rolling in faster than the paychecks.
New parents, of course ~ those little bundles of joy are full of promise. A fresh canvas. Another chance to “get it right.”
But what then?
Do we really believe that “the best is yet to come” AFTER we’ve ticked all the requisite boxes:
* Grow up
* Get married
* Have kids (or don’t)
* Enter the workforce
* Buy a house . . . with granite counter tops and double sinks!
* Get a gold watch
* Retire
The idea of retirement keeps many of us moving forward.
But if retirement is “the best” . . . why do so many oldsters look over their shoulders to talk about “the good old days.”
For that matter, if we are convinced that the best is yet to come, why are we not giddy with anticipation, like Goofy, at the start of each new day?
For most of us, life is like riding a roller coaster ~ we reach a pinnacle and then begin a slow descent (or steep terrifying drop) as we age.
As years flow from one to the next, we are forced to say good-bye to people and things we once loved. In our golden years, after getting that gold watch, we experience aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, and creeping senility.
We no longer stare at the ceiling “too excited to sleep.” We’re awake at 2 a.m. because insomnia has, once again, interfered with our steadfast desire for deep restorative sleep and peaceful slumber.
I am not persuaded that the best is yet to come.
I suspect that Robin Williams felt the same.
Or, perhaps, after struggling with insomnia, he just longed for oblivion.
Morpheus, Morpheus . . . where for are’t thou Morpheus?
The trick to moving forward to the “Finish Line” (rather than jumping ship or pulling the plug) lies in getting a good night’s sleep. Every night.
Failing that, we increase the odds of enjoying ourselves for the duration of the cruise when we: (a) hang on to our sense of humor, (b) maintain perspective, (c) focus on the positives (like getting a good night’s sleep once in a Blue Moon), (d) eat lots of chocolate, and (e) convince ourselves that things don’t have to be “the best” in order to be “good enough.”
Collect enough drops of joy on a moment by moment basis and life is pretty good ~ even if we no longer feel like a kid in a candy shop who’s too excited to sleep because we’ve been brainwashed into believing the best is yet to come.
Aah . . . that’s better! (Stay tuned ~ the best is yet to come!)
Spirit Lights The Way 