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You Don’t Know Jack Schitt August 28, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.

220px-Arthur-Pyle_The_Enchanter_MerlinAs a follow-up to yesterday’s post . . .

Most of us are at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’

Now, you can set them straight:

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

They had one son, Jack.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.

The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.  She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.


Against her parents’ objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and later married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.  The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.  He returned from his travels with an Italian bride, Pisa Schitt, and three children: Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Holie Schitt, the most devout of the six Schitts, entered the priesthood.

Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them.

This Geneology Record prepared by:  Crock O. Schitt

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author.


1. Carl D'Agostino - August 28, 2014

I think Phil of Poop is related.

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

Yes! Phil of Poop must be related to Phil of Schitt!

2. Val Boyko - August 28, 2014

Brilliant! Thank you for filling in for the global audience 🙂

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

This seemed the perfect follow-up to yesterday’s post.

3. Rainee - August 28, 2014

That was very clever and witty Nancy 🙂

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

I love a good Word Smith!

4. ericjbaker - August 28, 2014

That is one well-fertilized family tree!

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

I’m sure they’ve got a few B.S degrees floating around . . . maybe even a Ph.D.

5. In the Stillness of Willow Hill - August 28, 2014

I saw this on a t-shirt in Monterey last month. Laughed my butt off! Thanks for starting my day with a bit of silliness.

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

My pleasure, Willow. Silliness + Stillness = Perfect together! Both bring us back to the NOW.

6. Pix Under the Oaks - August 28, 2014

Very good Nancy, very good… 😀

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

Good Morning, Pix. Hope you have a nice long weekend planned.

7. katecrimmins - August 28, 2014

I’m speechless!

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

Nothing like someone with time to cobble words together!

8. Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com - August 28, 2014


nrhatch - August 28, 2014

Normally I save silly stuff for Saturdays, but I thought this would be a perfect follow-up to yesterday’s post.

9. suzicate - August 28, 2014

Bwahaha, I needed a good laugh today!

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

Finding things to laugh about is a goal most days. Sometimes it’s hard (especially if I catch the news). It’s easier when young kids are around ~ they laugh more easily and often than adults.

10. Jill Weatherholt - August 28, 2014

Love this, Nancy! You’re my kind of gal! 🙂

nrhatch - August 28, 2014

Thanks, Jill. I get a kick out of sharing these anonymous e-mails.

Jill Weatherholt - August 28, 2014

They are hilarious!

11. jannatwrites - August 30, 2014

This was funny! That crazy Schitt family 🙂

nrhatch - August 30, 2014

Glad you enjoyed this genealogy. 😛

12. kateshrewsday - September 1, 2014

So many Schitts. Who knew?

nrhatch - September 1, 2014

It’s rather astonishing how we can parlay one 4-letter word into so many knock offs. 😎

13. Three Well Beings - September 4, 2014

This is so hilarious, Nancy! Clever as the day is long!

nrhatch - September 4, 2014

When I see things like this, I (a) want to share them and (b) want to create something that is equally clever.

Usually I settle for (a). 😎

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