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Why It’s Important NOT To Give A Shit! May 25, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Life Lessons, People.
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25 comments

In the following clip, Carlin discusses the dissonance between who he thought he was and who he really was and how he shifted mid-career from someone who was on stage to entertain by pleasing people to someone who was on stage to share his honest thoughts with the world.

One reason people claim that there are “no mistakes in life, only lessons” is because (if we pay attention), everything teaches us something.  We are always evolving, shaped by our experiences with people, places, and things:

* We try X, it doesn’t resonate, so we cross X off the list b/c X is not what we are here for.

* We try Y, it fits likes a glove, so we keep doing Y, until we are prompted to move past Y and onto Z.

I suspect Carlin didn’t feel as much dissonance at the outset of his career.  But once he saw his peers (Lenny Bruce, Bob Dylan, Buffalo Springfield, Grace Slick) shrugging off the status quo, he knew he needed to head in the same direction.

Aah . . . that’s better!

The-Pink-Panther* He who trims himself to suit everyone else will soon whittle himself away. ~ Raymond Hull

* Trust yourself and you will know how to live. ~ Goethe

* You don’t need a permission slip to live your life.

* Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

Related posts: Speak Your Truth Quietly & Clearly * Letting Ourselves Be Seen * Pretence Is It Needed? (Candid Impressions)

Mother’s Day Madness May 9, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Special Events.
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49 comments

The-Pink-PantherFirst came March Madness.  Now it’s time for Mother’s Day Madness.

Every time I turn around some entity is telling me what to give mom for Mother’s Day ~ flowers, chocolates, wine, diamonds, candy, precious gems, silver, gold, etc..

And it’s not just for-profit businesses that want my mad money for Mother’s Day.  Non-profits want in on the action too.

And institutes of higher learning.

Pluto-RollerskatingThe Sierra Club suggested that mom might like a stuffed animal for Mother’s Day.

No, no, not a real animal stuffed by a taxidermist, a soft cuddly plush toy suitable for ages 1 – 100.

USC suggested that I get mom something in team colors so she can support the team every time she doesn’t watch a game.

Um . . . no.

But my favorite suggestion thus far.

170px-alice_par_john_tenniel_30

Hands down.

Tears rolling down my face as I laughed out loud at the audacity, the inanity, the sheer insanity of the suggestion.

Hotdog-On-A-Stick.

Yup.  That’s right.

If you don’t know what to get mom for Mother’s Day, consider getting her a Hotdog-On-A-Stick.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Moon Under Water April 27, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, People, Travel & Leisure.
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51 comments

In March, we drove to St. Pete for lunch at Moon Under Water, a quaint British Pub with sidewalk service.

To learn the intriguing story behind the name, click HERE.

I ordered the Feta Taboule Salad with black olives and red peppers, served in a tortilla shell with Hummus and Pita.

A bit too much green and not enough grain for my tastes.

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BFF opted for Fish & Chips with a side of Tikha Masala Curry which tickled our “Tikha” . . . and our tastebuds.

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After lunch, we went in search of a Small Craft Taps and Casks House ~ The Ale and The Witch.

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We chuckled at a posted proverb but didn’t have a chance to sample the Witch’s Brew ~> the taps aren’t tapped at quarter past two.

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Next time we won’t arrive before the Witching Hour.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Irish Brothel April 25, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, People.
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41 comments

150px-Carlo_Crivelli_052Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel across the road.

The local Methodist pastor appears, looks up and down the street, and goes inside.

“Would you look at that!” says the first Irishman. “Didn’t I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?”

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door, looks up and down the street, knocks, and goes inside.

“Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching!” says the second Irishman.

After roundly condemning the vicar and Rabbi, they see their own parish priest knock on the door.

“Ah, now dat’s sad,” says the third Irishman. “One of the girls must have died.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

April Phools! April 1, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People.
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50 comments

TimonWhile watching The Mentalist one night, we heard an enticing News Blurb that encouraged us to stay tuned to NBC for the local News at 11.

Some guy had used up all his cell phone minutes.  He didn’t have a plan with rollover minutes.

The gentleman in question wanted to enjoy cheap phone sex without paying for extra minutes or charging several dollars a minute to a credit card for the lady’s time.

What a dilemma for a desperate and determined dude!

In a less-than-brilliant move, he did what any red-blooded male with half a brain would do . . . he dialed 911!

Betty-BoopYup, he called the 911 Operator and asked her what she was wearing.  Then, he asked her if she had a nice ass.

Then, he shared intimate details about his body before asking her a few more questions that NBC censored from the 911 tape being replayed for our listening pleasure.

Paydirt!  The 911 Operator agreed to head over there as soon as her shift ended.

Surprise, surprise, surprise . . . the “hussy” never showed up.  Instead, a patrol car ran round and two officers arrested the dude.

Lumpus-MooseWhen he denied having made a 911 call, the officers called the number on the recorded 911 tape and the dude’s cell phone started ringing.

BUSTED!

Happy April Fool’s Day!  

Virtual Reality: Kings & Pawns March 28, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People, Politics, Spirit & Ego.
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42 comments

150px-Carlo_Crivelli_052When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray.’

We closed our eyes.

When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. – Desmond Tutu

* * *

Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. – Jean Rostand

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. – Doug Hamwell

We are here on earth to do good unto others.
What the others are here for, I have no idea. – W.H. Auden

Chess

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. – Robin Hal

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. – Emo Philips

After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box. – Italian proverb

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Ramblings of a Retired Mind March 21, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, People.
Tags: , , ,
48 comments

grumpy_thinking

(1) You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

(2) The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

(3) Old age => you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

Mr-Rossi(4) If you live long enough, you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

(5) Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. I want people to know why I look this way => I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

(6) Next time you complete a form that asks who to call in an emergency, fill in the blank with . . . “an ambulance.”

(7) The older we get, the more often things go missing.  I’ve found that the easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

James-the-Cat

(8) You know how when first time visitors see a cat litter box, they say, “Oh, have you got a cat?”

Next time I’m going to respond, “No, it’s for company.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Tips On Speaking March 14, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: , , ,
53 comments

alice26thFill your speech with the 7 deadly sins (Gossip, Judging, Negativity, Complaining, Excuses, Embroidering/ Exaggerating/ Lying, and Dogmatism) and people tend to tune out.

Focus on Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, and Love and they tune in.

In Fight On The Plane, Nicki Chen shares an example of conflict sparking a real (if somewhat heated) exchange between two fellow passengers.

When they dropped their masks . . . honesty, authenticity, integrity, and even love peeked through.

Of course, it’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it.  A few tools to play with ~ Register, Timbre, Prosody, Pace, Silence, Pitch, and Volume.

For still more tips, have a listen to Julian Treasure as he plays a masterful instrument . . . the human voice:

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

 

Skeletons In A Cryptic Crypt March 3, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Politics, Word Play.
Tags: , , , , ,
36 comments

180px-Leonardo_Skeleton_1511A quest in the quire for the bones of the squire

A quick question posed to the right quarters

A quizzical quip about the queen’s mingled bedfellows

Is she queen consort . . . or consorting quean?

Inquiring minds want to get to the bottom of this box of bones!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  A Box of Bones (Kate Shrewsday)

London’s history overflows with quires, squires, inquiries, quips, quests, inquests, and queens.  To learn more lore, you might wade into London by Edward Rutherfurd ~ “a glorious pageant spanning two thousand years.”

Not enough time to ingest a thousand pages spanning two thousand years on the Thames?  Swing by L. Marie’s blog for my guest post set in a Scottish pub ~> The Stanton Effect: Building to the Punchline.

Virtual Reality: Battle of the Sexes February 28, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, People.
Tags: , , , ,
48 comments

Betty-Boop

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. – Prince Philip

The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. – Jean Kerr

I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

Home cooking ~> Where many a man thinks his wife is. – Jimmy Durante

3D-Cow

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. – Betsy Salkind

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. – Irina Dunn

Q. “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”
A. “Why buy the pig if all you want is a little sausage?”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

March 2nd: I’m guest posting on L. Marie’s blog as part of her series ~ The Stanton Effect: Inspiration From A TED Talk.

Here’s the link:  The Stanton Effect:  Building to the Punchline

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