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Banana Splits? August 31, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, Vegetarian Recipes.
36 comments

What is the easiest way to make a banana split?

Cut it in half.

When will the trail mix have enough money to buy a map?

When the banana chips in.


Why did they cancel the ice cream social?

The banana split with the ice cream.

What kinds of jokes do bananas like to tell?

Side-splitting ones.

What kind of a key opens a banana?

A monkey!

Aah . . . that’s better!

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Excitement At Our Local Publix! July 30, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, People.
41 comments

Yesterday, BFF and I headed to Publix (“where shopping is a pleasure”) to get groceries.

On arrival, we noted throngs of people milling about the perimeter of the parking lot.  The parking lot proper had been cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape.  Ambulances, Police Cars, and Fire Trucks populated the almost empty lot as officials scurried about with walkie-talkies.

“Hey, BFF.  It looks like there’s been a bomb threat.”

“You think?”

“I do.  Why else would they cordon off the entire parking lot?”

As BFF continued to drive toward the scene, we saw a van emblazoned with “Bomb Squad” on the side, confirming our suspicions.

At the perimeter of the scene, we asked a police officer for a quick recounting.

All he would say is that a “suspicious package” had been found near the entrance to Publix and that they had evacuated all the stores in the shopping center.  He thought the stores would be reopening “soon.”

We decided not to stick around.  Instead, we headed to the Island Publix to stock up on essentials.

This morning as we were walking up to the pool, BFF saw this headline in the Bradenton Herald paper sitting in our neighbor’s driveway:

Suspicious Package outside Bradenton Publix turns out to be a Water Bottle

Curiosity satisfied, we continued to the pool where we found an empty water bottle leaning up against the pool shed.

We did NOT call the bomb squad since the empty bottle was not adorned with wires or otherwise connected to an incendiary device.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Don’t Be Jerky! June 27, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Travel & Leisure, Vegetarian Recipes.
28 comments

We spent very little time in the town of Helen, other than quaffing beers to quench our thirst at creekside taverns while tubers floated past.

We did check out this unique storage facility with tubes stacked floor to ceiling beside life jackets and leashes.

Back on the Main Street, we saw some Jerky signs.

Imagine having to choose between Deer, Elk, Buffalo, and Boar.  Hmmm . . .

Or Goat, Gator, Python, and Alpaca.

Decisions.  Decisions.

I know!  ~> Make mine pretzels & beer!

Aah . . . that’s better!

TIME To Lose Weight June 11, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Food & Drink, Health & Wellness.
25 comments

Are you ready to shed a few pounds before donning a swimsuit and heading to the pool?

Need an update on which foods to eat and which to avoid?

Looking for a Diet Decoder?

Wants some tips on keeping the weight off?

Well, TIME has got you covered!

Check out the TIME Guide to Weight Loss.

*12 articles on the Science of Weight Loss

*7 articles on Diets (Gluten Free vs. Vegan vs. Mindfulness vs. Ketogenic)

*15 articles with tips on Foods To Eat

*11 articles on making weight loss last

Bonus Tip:  Step away from the donut and do not put another bite in you mouth until you have digested all 45 articles!

Aah . . . that’s better!

. . . And We All Fall Down! May 10, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Gratitude, Happiness, Humor.
35 comments

Our letter carriers are collecting nonperishable food items tomorrow morning to deliver to local food banks and pantries.

Last night, I started collecting  a few items to include in our donation bag ~ Quaker Rolled Oats, Lipton Tea Bags, Black-Eyed Peas, etc.

Some of the items were out of reach.  Since BFF was still eating dinner, I stepped up on my handy dandy step stool . . . armed with a spatula to extend my reach still further.

No luck.  The Tea Bags were still out of reach.

I swapped out the step stool (10″ high) for a ladder back chair (17″ high) so I could reach the box of tea bags stashed in the tippy top of the pantry.

SUCCESS!

Until I stepped off the chair . . . into thin air!

I had forgotten where I was and “muscle memory” kicked in.  It knows that I always use a 10″ high step stool to reach out-of-reach pantry items.  As soon as my left foot had descended 9″, muscle memory caused my body weight to shift from right leg (still on the chair) to left leg (dangling in air).

Muscle memory made sure that I was ready for a soft landing as soon as my left foot dropped the last inch and reached the floor.

Only the floor didn’t cooperate.  It was still 7″ away and didn’t rise to the occasion.

Down I toppled.

But muscle memory came to the rescue . . . saving me a trip to the ER.

When I was 13, I took a Judo self-defense course that taught us, inter alia, How To Fall.

Instead of tensing up, I relaxed and absorbed the weight of the fall on the balls of my feet, the palms of my hands, and on my well padded butt.  Instead of slamming my head into the cabinet, the counter top, or the floor, I curled into a “ball” by curving my spine and rolling as I made contact with the floor.

All said, I feel a bit bumped and bruised this morning, but that beats being broken and battered hands down!

Just ask Humpty!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Share A Shelfie! May 8, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Food & Drink, Humor, Joke.
47 comments

As a follow up to my last post, I thought I would start a new social media trend ~> SHELFIES!

Instead of taking photos of food and/or adult beverages at restaurants, or Selfies of yourself, share a “Shelfie” of your fridge contents on your Blog or Facebook page.

It’s easy!

No staging necessary!

Best of all, you don’t need a $3,000 Samsung Family Hub Smart Fridge to participate.  Just open your Frigidaire, Kenmore, Amana, GE, Hotpoint, or Whirlpool Fridge and snap a quick shot of its contents.

And while you’re there, grab yourself a snack!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related:  Forget selfies, we want to see your shelfies (The Guardian)

Refrigerdating May 4, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Home & Garden, Humor.
46 comments

What would the contents of your fridge say about you?

Refrigerdating is an app that works with Samsung’s Family Hub Refrigerator, a $3000 (or $4000) appliance with a built-in camera and touchscreen door.

The app allows you to browse ice box contents of potential dates for compatibility.

After all, we are what we eat.  Right?

Aah . . . that’s bizarre!

To read more: Refrigerdating (The Guardian) or Can Your Refrigerator Improve Your Dating Life?  (NYTimes)

 

Why NOT To Be Gluten Free April 8, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Health & Wellness, Humor.
38 comments

Being a vegetarian = easy peasy.
Being gluten free = a constant challenge and a sometimes sacrifice.

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I am re-thinking my options.

Instead of “slim and trim,” maybe I should aim for “fat and sassy”? 😛

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Life is short . . . seize the day (and the pizza!).

2015-10-23 16-58-16_0031

Aah . . . that’s better!

To read an appetizing comment thread and insight filled post:  Odds & Ends on Observations (Kate)

Tippy Gnu ~> #4 Is 4 You! April 3, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Health & Wellness, Life Balance.
37 comments

To Read More: Foods Linked To Better Brainpower (Harvard Health)

It’s National Margarita Day! February 22, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor.
20 comments

I have it on good authority that February 22nd is National Margarita Day.

Today is February 22nd.

Hence, ergo, ipso facto, today is National Margarita Day.

Now, the announcement I saw didn’t specify the nation . . . so I say “go for it!”

Aah . . . that’s better!