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Subject: What Gender??? February 24, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
20 comments

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine:

House is feminine ~ la casa.
Pencil is masculine ~ el lapiz.

A student asked, “What gender is computer?”

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer should be a masculine or a feminine noun.  Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The guys decided that computer must be feminine (“la computadora”) because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The language they use to communicate with each other is incomprehensible.

3. Even small mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible retrieval.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you spend half your pay check on accessories for it.

Sure they had nailed it, the guys started passing around high-fives.

After the teacher restored order, the girls explained (using both internal logic and stellar communication skills) that the boys were mistaken.  Expanding upon their thesis, they concluded that computer must be masculine (“el computador”) because:

1. In order to do anything with one, you have to turn it on first.

2. They have a lot of data, but have to be told what to do.

3. They’re supposed to help solve problems, but often they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that . . . if you had waited just a little bit longer . . . you could have gotten a better model.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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Real Life vs. Instagram Playgrounds February 21, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Humor, Life Balance, People.
22 comments

It used to be that, as we were experiencing “real life,” a photo op would present itself.

We would *PAUSE* the action, smile for the camera, say cheese, and move forward with our day.

Now, chasing photo ops IS the experience.

Entrepreneurs are setting the stage by creating Instagram Playgrounds . . . where folks head to shoot themselves enjoying a sequence of photo ops that may (or may not) go viral on social media.

If you try hard and believe in your selfies, any surface can be the backdrop for the Instagram feed that is your life. The whole world is an Instagram playground, and all of us merely users.

To read more:  Can Real Life Compete with an Instagram Playground?

 

Aah . . . that’s better!

Our Next Best House February 19, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Joke.
28 comments

We found it!

After months of househunting (post hurricane evacuation), we found our next best house!

In Canada!

Right next to a happy sounding and quite refreshing waterfall.

See how happy I am?

Best of all, our new Hansel & Gretel cottage is located in Epcot so we won’t have to deal with the wild, wet, windy, wintry white weather associated with mainland Canada.

As an added bonus, the gorgeous grounds are manicured and maintained by an army of gardeners.

Now, we just need to negotiate the terms of sale with Mickey.  Wish us luck!

Aah . . . that’s better!

A Blonde Pushes Back . . . February 17, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
39 comments

A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he’s doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row, Ceci, stands on her chair and starts shouting, “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.

“What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

“It’s men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people.

“It’s people like you who make others think all blondes are dumb!

“You and your kind perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general . . . all in the pathetic name of humor!”

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize and the blonde yells:

“You stay out of this! I’m talking to that little shit on your lap.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Anne ~ This Post Is For YOU! February 15, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Less IS More, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
35 comments

Anne (Minimalist Sometimes) often shares the results of her decluttering efforts with readers.  She is terrific at documenting items that are jettisoned from her premises.

In contrast, while BFF and I make regular runs to Goodwill to drop off “no longer needed” things, I don’t usually remember to take photos.

And, out of sight, out of mind.  Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

Last week, I decided to clean out the kitchen cupboards.  As usual, I found some “no longer needed” stuff to donate to Goodwill.

After rearranging the “breathing lighter” cabinets, I decided to tackle the guest room closet where I found a few more “no longer needed” items lurking about.

And this time I remembered to snap a shot for Anne:

And, even though Less is More, I took one more for good measure:

 

Aah . . . that’s better!

A White Wedding February 13, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Art & Photography, Humor.
22 comments

During the International Festival of the Arts, we stumbled upon a white wedding in the Mexican pavilion.

Now, I’m sure no one here would accuse Mickey of marketing manipulation, but the choreography did seem designed to coincide with the recent release of Coco.

Nevertheless, we loved the simple yet elegant maid of honor.

And her escort, the best man . . . a/k/a man’s best friend.

We found him fetching!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Don’t Try This At Home February 10, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Humor, Life Balance.
16 comments

At Epcot, we ran into a couple of mimes entertaining the crowds in France.

One serveur amusant had his feet firmly planted on terra firma while the other wafted around above the crowd building a tower of chairs.

To what end?

We soon found out.

After placing the last chair in what looked to be a rather precarious position, he . . .

. . . placed himself, feet over head, in an even more precarious position.

If this acrobatic idea appeals, causing you to flip head over heels, please exercise due caution!

I have it on good authority that they are trained professionals.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

That’s A Full Day! February 7, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, Word Play.
32 comments

At Epcot, we stopped to admire this elephant.

After snapping a shot, I paused to read the contiguous quote by coach Jim Valvano:

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day.  We should do this every day of our lives.  Number one is laugh.  You should laugh every day.  Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought.  And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy.  But think about it.  If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day.  That’s a heck of a day.  You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

Here’s what I Think ~> when I Laugh until I Cry, that’s a heck of a day.

2014-12-14 17-44-15_0052

Aah . . . that’s better!

Edible Pop Art February 5, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Food & Drink, Humor.
22 comments

At Epcot’s International Festival of the Arts, we ran into some edible art at Pop Eats!

The sign advertised modern cuisine inspired by modern art . . . including Pop’T Art on miniature easels.

We opted for the Almond Frangipane Cake layered with Raspberry Jam and Callebaut Belgian Chocolate.

It was almost too pretty to eat.

Aah . . . that’s better!

It’s All Relative . . . February 3, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Less IS More, Travel & Leisure.
26 comments

On our recent road trip across the state to Miami and up the coast on Route A1A, we traveled through congested city streets with bumper to bumper buildings lining both sides of the road.

As we drove north on A1A, we often found ourselves traveling through canyons of skyscrapers peering down on us.

Late Saturday afternoon, we turned toward home on Route 710, driving through mile after mile of sawgrass prairie populated only by cows grazing in the fields.

Not these cows, but ones just like them . . . only slightly less curious about our “cruising tunes.”

Sometime after sunset, as we approached a 4-way intersection, a cautionary sign greeted us:

“Congested Area”

Looking around the intersection for the promised congestion, we noted a single gas station on one of the 4 corners.

And nothing else.

No high-rises.  No bumper to bumper traffic.  No trucks entering or leaving the highway.  No construction.

As we passed through the “congestion” with ease, and without mishap, I burst out laughing.

zebras

Like beauty, congestion is in the eye of the beholder ~> it’s all relative.

Aah . . . that’s better!