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How to Get to Heaven from Ireland January 14, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
35 comments

A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher:

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?”

“NO!” the children answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?”

Again, the answer was “NO!”

“If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?”

Again, they all answered “NO!”

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, “Then how can I get into heaven?”

A little boy shouted out: “YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN’ DEAD.”

Aah . . . by George, he’s got it!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

 

A Post About Parcel Post January 11, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People.
25 comments

Pooh-With-MailbagBack in the early days of Parcel Post, people  didn’t just mail their mail . . . they also mailed their children.

Nope.  Not kidding.

I just read about it on Smithsonian and though you might want a peak too:  Special Delivery

Aah . . . going by post is way better than going postal!

100 Blocks January 9, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Health & Wellness, Life Balance.
34 comments

Big-BenA few months back (about 7400 blocks ago), Tim (@ Wait But Why) did an interesting post on time allocation ~ 100 Blocks A Day.

Definitely worth a read if “better time management” is one of your resolutions for 2017.

While I appreciated his approach, two thoughts occurred to me as I considered his analysis:

(1) When deciding whether to cook dinner (3 blocks) or order in (0 blocks), the time used that day doesn’t take into consideration the hours given up to earn the money to buy food vs. paying someone else to do the cooking.

220px-Pig_roastbeef

We save time by hiring others to do stuff we don’t want to do for ourselves . . . but we’ve already spent time to earn the money needed to pay them.

Perhaps we need to factor in those hidden costs in deciding whether to cook or hire someone to cook for us.

(2) We might also want to take into consideration the blocks of time lost down the road by ordering in “junk food” instead of preparing healthy food.

If we get diabetes or heart disease, we may lose years of blocks off our grid.

I think we’ll cook for ourselves tonight!

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

A Healthy Level Of Insanity January 7, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
46 comments

Donald-Duck-Diving

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars and watch them slow down!

2. On all your check stubs, write, “For Sexual Favors.”

3. Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

4. With a serious face, order a Diet Water when you go out to eat.

5. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

Happy-Tiger6. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’

7. Go into a large department store’s fitting room, drop your drawers to your ankles, and yell out, “There’s no paper in here!”

8. Sing along at The Opera.

The-Pink-Panther9. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go . . ..”

10. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, “Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

It Pays To Be A Restaurant Reviewer! January 4, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Food & Drink, Humor.
36 comments

mr-rossiLast month, we attended an Anniversary Celebration for Tommy Bahamas and received a coupon for $20 off dinner at the restaurant.

Two days before the coupon expired, we stopped for dinner at Tommy Bahamas on our way home from a class at the Apple Store.

BFF ordered Tommy’s World Famous Coconut Shrimp with mango salsa and slaw.  I ordered a Bungalow Salad.

Both arrived in short order with a loaf of fresh from the oven bread.  Which I ate, without worrying about the gluten.

For dessert, BFF ordered a slice of Pina Colada cake . . . and I had a few bites.

Yum!

Woodstock-&-Snoopy2The musician was good and played songs we know and enjoy ~ Buffett, Stray Cats ~ Stray Cats Strut, Chris Isaak ~ Wicked Game, The Doors ~ Light My Fire, Bowie ~ Rebel, Rebel, etc.

Best of all, with the $20 Off coupon, we saved almost 50%!

All in all, an excellent deal . . . but wait, there’s more to this tale.

When we arrived, at 6:45, the maître d’ told us it would be a 45 minute wait.

We decided to eat at the bar.  But after sitting there a few minutes, amid the aroma of stale beer, I decided I’d rather wait for a table.

I went back to the maître d’ to sign up.  He gave me a buzzer, showed me what it would do when our table was ready, and I started to walk back to the bar.

He then said, “Wait!  I’m going to make this happen.  Just go upstairs and tell them to seat you.”

Surprised, I gave him back the buzzer, grabbed BFF, went upstairs and we got a great table for two next to the grand staircase and overlooking the musician.

Perfect!

Mickey-OKBFF wanted to know how I managed it.

I have no idea.

I was carrying my iPad . . . Maybe the maître d’ thought I was a restaurant critic!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Anger ~> From Apathy To Action January 1, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
29 comments

220px-Alice_par_John_Tenniel_27Rainee shared an interesting quote about anger in her recent post on Notable Quotables:

“The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.”
~ Bede Jarrett

I agreed with Bede.

Anger can be a useful motivator . . . moving us from apathy to action.

Donald-Duck-MadAnd not just to counter evil in the world.

For example, Donald (at left)  is angry that his pants “shrunk” and no longer fit his big fat duck butt.

That anger motivated him to get moving and go for a walk!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Happy New Year!

Good luck with your resolutions, whatever the motivation.

Don’t Fence Me In December 31, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Less IS More, Life Balance, People.
25 comments

xray-christmas-1Crowds give me claustrophobia.

I can’t breathe in close proximity to masses, hoards, or throngs.

When jostled by the hustle and bustle of other people . . . I head for the EXIT sign.

You will never see me in Times Square on New Year’s Eve!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Stolen Quote – Crowded (Chasing Unicorns)

* * *

How do you “ring in” the New Year?  Alone or With Friends?   In or Out?  Awake and Aware?  Sound Asleep?  Sleepwalking?  Sober? Intoxicated?

Mickey-OKHowever you choose to celebrate . . . Be Happy!

Our mood at midnight (as well as the type of food we eat) tends to follow us into the New Year.

And if you’re wondering what to eat . . . I have it on good authority that eating chocolate on New Year’s Eve will bring good luck in the new year.

Smile And Say . . . WOW! December 29, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Travel & Leisure.
23 comments

To see some amazing Travel Shots . . . Visit the 2016 National Geographic Travel Photographer of the Year Gallery.

Prepare to be WOWED because some of the shots are out of this world!

250px-Astronaut-EVA

Aah . . . that’s better!

Gluten Free Brownies December 27, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Health & Wellness, Vegetarian Recipes.
16 comments

Want a gooey good-for-you brownie . . . without the flour, eggs, etc.?

Try Julie’s recipe for Lentil Brownies.

Aah . . . that’s better!

2016 “No News” Letter December 25, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
40 comments

For those of you who have been waiting with bated breath for our 2016 “No News” Letter, here are the Top Ten Reasons we’re L~A~T~E this Season . . .

10.  It can’t be Christmas yet ~> we “just” packed the Santas away after ringing in the New Year.

9.  BFF turned 60 in October and we’re still celebrating . . . with leftover Halloween candy.

8.  When we go for beach walks, the throngs (and thongs) of sun worshippers make it seem more like July 4th than Christmas.

On the plus side:

No Snow => Ho!  Ho!  Ho!

7.  We hit the 80’s yesterday . . . and it was still 74 degrees at sunset!

Ya, mon!

6.  We enjoyed similar temps last weekend while touring the island with my brother’s family who flew in from Colorado and Chicago for Jess & Nate’s wedding.  (See Reason #3)

5.  Most of the Santas around here are dressed in Bermuda shorts and Panama hats.

4.  The only “snowmen” we see in Florida are made of sand or full of hot air.

3.  Jess wed Nate on 12/18 at Leu Gardens in Orlando ~>  it was so H~O~T that guests stayed in the shade until 3:58 pm before grabbing souvenir sunglasses and taking a seat.  (The minister lip-synched lyrics from Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff” before the “I do’s.”)

2.  We lost some of our “Holly Jolly” and most of our “Fa La La” when Tigger took a turn for the worse right after the wedding.  Two days later we said good-bye to our little guy for the last time.

imgp5949

R.I.P. Tigger (July 2004 – December 20, 2016) . . . you are missed!

But the #1 Reason this missive is L~A~T~E ~>  I lose track of time when playing Bridge.

* * *

Life is full of high notes and low notes ~ the Yin and Yang of life.  We hope your Holidays are Merry & Bright and overflowing with Love & Light . . . ending your year on a high note.

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PEACE!