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“Don’t Smell Like Walter” September 22, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Joke, People.
17 comments

Other than a few select shows, BFF and I tend to stick with commercial free public TV.  And not just because we get to avoid commercial commentary and odious and incessant political propaganda (i.e., campaign ads).

We enjoy watching PBS because it offers up interesting fare which is less brain-numbing than prime time TV.

By way of example, we recently caught a 3-part series on the human body ~ How We Grow, How We Protect Ourselves, and How We Think.  In short, we are amazing!  Our ability to preserve homeostasis in the face of temperature changes and microscopic invaders is nothing short of miraculous.

But what about How We Smell?

Receptacles in our nasal passageways capture on-going clues about odors and aromas.  These scents and smells, once captured, signal whether it’s OK to “breathe deep” or scream out “HOLD YOUR NOSE!” (when warranted by disgusting overtones, unpleasant undercurrents, and big stinks).

If something smells really bad, we wave our hands in front of our face to chase the overtones and undercurrents away.

So . . . what does that have to do with Walter?

Well, every once in a while, TV ads add to my day, rather than detracting from it, by making me laugh out loud at the amusing wit and entertaining wisdom of the right writers.

Case in point:  Two women in the produce department at the supermarket.  One young.  One less so.  The younger one reaches for peaches as the older woman sneaks up behind her, breathes deep, and (with a nostalgic sniff) says, “Oh, you smell just like my Walter.”

The younger woman’s smile turns upside down as the voice over says, “Don’t Smell Like Walter.”

Good advice, eh?

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

 

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Well, That’s An Eye Opener! September 19, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Health & Wellness, Less IS More, People.
32 comments

Have you heard that a low dose aspirin regimen may be doing more harm than good?

Three studies released this week in the New England Journal of Medicine revealed that, in otherwise healthy individuals over 70, taking a daily low dose aspirin increased the risk of intestinal and intracranial bleeding without offering corresponding cardiovascular benefits:

“The use of low-dose aspirin resulted in a significantly higher risk of major hemorrhage and did not result in a significantly lower risk of cardiovascular disease than placebo,” the researchers wrote in one of the papers.

I guess it’s back to “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

To read more:  Low-dose aspirin offers no overall benefit for healthy older people

Sperm Banks in the US are not limited to a specific number of “off-spring” per donor.

One donor’s “daughter” has spent the summer tracking down her half siblings . . . around the globe.

She’s wondering when it’s going to end:

Arroyo has mixed feelings. While every visit with her half siblings has been a blast, she finds it “worrying” that sperm banks permit so many children to be born from a single donor.

“Every time I find a new sibling,” she said, “I get anxiety and think to myself: When is it going to end?”

Bottom line ~> You may have more siblings than you realize.

To read more:  44 Siblings And Counting

Back in the early days of television, before the #metoo! movement, Jackie Gleason would shake his fist at his TV wife while saying, “To the moon, Alice. To the moon.”

Alice never viewed his threat as anything other than empty.  It was just a placebo.  A futile gesture to urge compliance with his whims and wiles.  A husband’s attempt to demonstrate that he wore the pants in the family.

Fast forward 50-60 years, and a different image is conjured up . . . maybe he’s really planning to send Alice to the moon!

“Ever since I was a kid, I have loved the moon,” said Yusaku Maezawa, founder of ZoZotown, one of Japan’s largest retail websites. “Just staring at the moon filled my imagination. That is why I could not pass up this opportunity to see the moon up close.”

At the same time, he said, “I did not want to have such a fantastic experience by myself. That would be a little lonely. I don’t like being alone, so I want to share this experiences with as many people as possible. That is why I choose to go to the moon with artists! I choose to invite artists from around the world on my journey.”

Speaking to journalists and SpaceX employees at the rocket company’s Hawthorne, Calif., factory, standing at the base of a Falcon 9 rocket in front of its nine engine nozzles, Maezawa said he is considering who might be invited, but no decisions have been made.

“In 2023 as the host, I would like to invite six to eight artists from around the world to join me on this mission to the moon,” he said. “These artists will be asked to create something after they return to Earth. And these masterpieces will inspire the dreamer within all of us.”

Writers are artists, right?  Got any plans for 2023?

Can’t you just hear Gleason, now? . . . “To the moon, Alice.  To the moon.”

To read more:  SpaceX: Japanese billionaire to be first “private passenger” on moon mission

Aah . . . that’s out of this world!

Great-Grandma’s Dirty Jokes September 17, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
6 comments

Since I didn’t get around to sharing a Silly Saturday joke post this week, I’m going to share three fabulous dirty jokes from TG’s Great Grandma today.

Have a Marvelous Monday!

Chasing Unicorns

My Great-Grandma Florence Jackson. “Flojack.”

I was fortunate and cursed enough to be around several of my great-grandparents while I was growing up. That’s because my family is blessed and cursed with longevity in our genes. We tend to live a long time, but when we finally expire we die of long, lingering chronic illnesses.

My great-grandma was born in 1889. She drove a crankstart Model T when she was young. It gave her a great scare when it chased her around the yard one day, after she crank-started it while it was in gear.

She made it through two great world wars, struggled through the Great Depression, and survived the Great San Francisco earthquake of 1906. So by the time I met her, she had quite a few great tales to tell.

She’d come visit us about once a year, when I was a kid, and stay several weeks…

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Great Hurdling Hurricanes! September 13, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Nature, Word Play.
34 comments

Hurricanes are no laughing matter.

Florence is packing a punch as she heads for the mid-Atlantic coast.

North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Maryland, Virginia, and DC are bracing for her arrival.  Each has declared a state of emergency.

Thousands are fleeing the coastline for higher ground.  People are boarding up homes and stocking supplies.

Etc.

Having gone through an evacuation last fall due to Hurricane Irma, I sense the increasing stress and tension as we watch and wait for landfall.

Although hurricanes are no laughing matter, the following image of Florence’s approach amused me, providing me with some much needed stress relief:

As Hurricane Florence hurdled towards the East Coast, its final destination remains uncertain, but North Carolinians who appear to be in the storm’s path were taking few chances.

Hurdle ~ to leap over a barrier or obstacle in a race

Hurtle ~ to move rapidly or forcefully

Since Florence is NOT a track star, I expect the journalist meant to say “As Hurricane Florence hurtles towards the East Coast . . .”

Then, again, maybe she knew we all needed a good laugh.

Aah . . . that’s better! 

The Return of the Panther? September 13, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Nature, Sustainable Living.
22 comments

This video captures some amazing footage of the Florida Panther, including an unexpected encounter with a volunteer on the boardwalk in Audubon’s Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary:

It also highlights the benefits of preserving the panther and its habitat for future generations.

To learn more:  The Florida Panther

Aah . . . that’s better!

Sitting In Meditative Silence September 11, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Meditation, Mindfulness.
18 comments

When I sit in meditative silence, my mind sometimes views that as an opportunity to race about like a road runner on a super-charged pogo-stick.

Some mornings I encourage it to “settle down.”

Other times I just watch with amused detachment.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Fiction Prompt from Poets & Writers September 7, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Fiction, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
16 comments

I received this Fiction Prompt from Poets & Writers today and found it intriguing:

What kind of story would you write for someone reading it one hundred years from now?

For Scottish artist Katie Paterson’s Future Library project, which started in 2014, she has commissioned Margaret Atwood, David Mitchell, Elif Shafak, Sjón, and Han Kang to write manuscripts that will remain unread in storage in an Oslo library until 2114. The texts will then be printed on paper made from one thousand trees planted in a Norwegian forest when the project began.

Write a short story with the notion that it won’t be read for one hundred years. While imagining a future generation of readers, explore themes involving time, eternity, and mortality.

Do you think that the participating writers will all abide by the “rules” . . . allowing their words to remain unread for 100 years?

Or will most/all of them keep a copy available to share with chosen readers before the designated date?

Aah . . . that’s better!

10 Unusual Florida Sites September 6, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Travel & Leisure.
24 comments

We’ve been to a number of these sites, but we’ve got a few more to go . . . once the oppressive summer heat and humidity lessens its hold on the peninsula.

In the meantime, I think I’ll hang out in the shade of swaying palms for a few more weeks!

Aah . . . that’s better!

About My Somewhat Free Book September 2, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Happiness, Writing & Writers.
7 comments

What’s better than spotting a Unique Unicorn?

How about snagging a FREE copy of Unikonics ~> TG’s life philosophy in legible digital printed form!

That’s right! His life philosophy. For FREE!

Chasing Unicorns

Click the Unikonics book cover image above, to skip the nonsense below, and go directly to my book.

I’ve written a book called Unikonics. This book won’t cost you any money, but it will cost you some time. So it’s somewhat free, but not entirely. It’s only 18,000 words, but if you’re a slow reader like me it will require about three hours of your life to complete.

I first wrote this philosophy and self-help book in 2014, and true to self-help form, self-published it on Amazon. I can count on the fingers of one finger how many copies it sold. And that poor bastard who paid 99 cents for it must be kicking himself, because now I’m giving it away free.

I recently had a very boring experience. I was called in for jury duty and had to sit around for hours in a courtroom, waiting for some…

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Ideal Bookshelf September 1, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Books & Movies, Writing & Writers.
18 comments

Got books?

If your goal is to add to your TBR pile, check out Ideal Bookshelf . . . it’s like getting lost in a library full of fascinating titles and magical adventures.

Jane Mount is a talented illustrator, designer, and founder of Ideal Bookshelf, a company that makes things for people who love books. She’s also published a recent book, Bibliophile: An Illustrated Miscellany.  She lives on Maui, in Hawaii.

At Ideal Bookshelf, you can custom order a bookshelf “portrait” or buy framed and unframed prints, postcards, stationery, pins, mugs, etc.

It’s a cozy internet cafe to browse on a rainy day.

And for book lovers, it’s the cat’s meow!

Aah . . . that’s better!