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Astral Projection February 9, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Magick & Mystery.
35 comments

Fantasia2Astral Projection sounds like a skill worth having ~ allowing us to be both HERE and THERE.

Per my recent research, there are exercises we can practice to become more adept at sending a drone or watcher out into the world.

However “the ability to make the astral body appear to others as a solid, physical object” (i.e., body-double) “is an advanced technique that takes a great deal of skill and concentration.”

If I make any headway with the practice, I’ll report back.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  In Both Places At One Time (Kate Shrewsday) * Padre Pio ~ Bilocation

Dr. Geezer February 6, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor, Joke.
39 comments

Woodstock-&-Snoopy3An old geezer became bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign outside that said:

Dr. Geezer’s Clinic
All treatments:  $500
No cure:  I’ll give you $1,000!

Doctor Young, who was positive that the old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.

Dr. Young: “Dr.Geezer I have lost all taste in my mouth.  Can you please help me?”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young:  “Aaagh !! That’s Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Annoyed, Dr. Young leaves, but returns in a couple of days to recover his money.

Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t . . . that’s Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young, determined to get his $1000 back, returns a few days later with a new ailment.

250px-New_Orleans_City_of_Old_Romance_and_New_Opportunity_Crop_p_23_MoneybagsDr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak ~ I can hardly see anything!”

Dr. Geezer: “Hmm . . . I don’t have any medicine for that.  Here’s $1000.”

With that, Dr. Geezer hands Dr. Young a $10 bill.

Dr. Young: “Hey!  This is only $10!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back.  That will be $500.”

Moral:  Being Young doesn’t mean you can outsmart an Old Geezer.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Bonus Tip: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to tick us off.

Enjoy your day!!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

“X” Am In Your Beliefs February 3, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Life Balance, Mindfulness.
38 comments

IMGP1472aSome of our beliefs are lurking about in the dark.  Let’s call these sub-conscious unknown beliefs “X.”

“X” am in your beliefs.

At a sub-conscious level, “X” guide our actions and interactions with others.

It’s up to us to sort through the detritus of societal conditioning and weed out beliefs that no longer serve us by shining a spotlight on them so they can no longer lurk about in the shadows.

“X” Am In Your Beliefs . . . unless and until you Examine Your Beliefs.

Don’t believe everything you think.

The Beauty of Nothingness . . .

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

What Would You Do? February 1, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
59 comments

The-Pink-PantherThe Hypothetical:  A neighbor you’ve been friendly with for 6 years has turned decidedly frosty toward you.  You don’t know why.  You’re certain that you did nothing directly to her that should have caused the change of heart.  But whenever you see her and smile or wave, she looks right through you . . . with a frosty glare.

What would you do?

Donald-Duck-MadA.  Angrily confront her and demand an explanation:

“Who the hell do you think you are?  I’ve been nothing but nice to you and you look at me like I’m a “dog deposit” left in the middle of your driveway!”

B. Ignore her back:

“I’ll see your frosty stare.  And raise you a . . . cold shoulder.”

C.  Collapse into a puddle of tears, effectively putting the keys to your happiness in her pocket.

Donald-Duck-BaseballD. Try to open up the channels of communication:

“Hey.  I’ve noticed that you seem a bit frosty towards me in recent interactions.  I can’t think why.  Is it something we should talk about at some point?”

E. Laugh & talk about her behind her back with anyone who will listen:

“OMG!  She is being a total bitch to me.  Every time she gives me her prune face I want to burst out laughing.”

Donald-DirectorF. Nothing.  If she wants to talk about it, let her broach the discussion.

G. Move.

H. Other.  Be as creative as you want here!

So . . . what would you do?

 

Before deciding ~> Breathe * Relax * Feel * Watch * Allow.

Instead of pushing, pulling, or trying to manipulate the actions of others, we can adopt an attitude of “cheerful indifference” as we allow things to be as they are.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related posts:  Good Enough (Roxi St. Clair) * Self Acceptance (Find Your Middle Ground)

 

 

 

It’s All In The Family January 30, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
31 comments

Homer-MexicanDan was a single guy living at home with his father while working in the family business.

Since he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife to share his good fortune.

One evening at an investment seminar, he spotted a beautiful woman who took his breath away.

During a break, he introduced himself.

“I may look like a regular guy but in a few years when my father dies I will inherit $200 million.”

Betty-BoopImpressed, the woman asked for his business card.

Three days later, she became his step-mother.

Now that’s what you call Financial Planning!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

A Brand New Day January 27, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Fiction, People, Spirit & Ego.
44 comments

Turtle-Underwater“When is the viewing?”

“No viewing.  He’s already been cremated.  All that’s left is ash.”

“WHAT?!  How could you do that?!  You knew we’d want to see him again.  And that we’d want to bury him in the family plot next to mom and dad.”

“Hmm . . . to be honest, I didn’t consider what you wanted.  HE wanted to be cremated.  I arranged for his cremation.”

“But you should have let us view him first!”

“Why?  That’s not what HE wanted.  HE didn’t want people admiring the work of a mortician, talking about how peaceful HE looked.”

Lotus“But we wanted to see him again!”

“Too bad. Too little. Too late.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means HIS wishes trumped yours.”

“That’s not good enough.  How could you ignore what WE wanted?!

“I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Spell it out for me anyway.  I want to understand why you chose to disregard OUR wishes.”

“OK.  Here goes:  He called you. And called you. And called you. And YOU did not call back. YOU didn’t write. YOU didn’t visit. YOU ignored him while he was alive so I felt no need to accommodate YOUR egocentric desires once he died. HE asked to be cremated. I honored that request. Case closed.”

“But you had no right to cremate OUR brother!”

300px-Paradiso_Canto_31“Of course I did.  If I didn’t have the legal right to dispose of his remains, the funeral home would have refused my request.”

“That’s not what I meant! You should have called US to see what WE wanted.”

“I don’t see it that way. And, even if you could somehow convince me now, it’s too late.  It’s a done deal.  Deal with it.”

“He never should have married you!”

“But HE did.  And now he’s dead.  It’s a brand new day.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

When someone dies . . . should the wishes of the deceased trump the desires of the mourners?

V is for Visualize January 25, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Health & Wellness, Magick & Mystery.
39 comments

Close your eyes.
Visualize.

Mickey-SurferVisualize the life you want to live AS IF you’re already living it.

* See yourself hitting a hole-in-one.

* Feel yourself balancing on a paddleboard, wind in your ears.

* Picture yourself at your healthiest & happiest.

Creating new synapses helps prune away the “dead wood” that weighs us down.

No longer choked by weeds, our lives burst into bloom.

IMGP2608b

Aah . . . that’s better!

On a related note:  How to Become a Luckier Person Overnight (Raptitude)

How To Tell The Sex of A Fly January 23, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
36 comments

200px-Musca_illustrationA woman walked into the kitchen and found her husband standing around with a fly swatter.

“Hey, Rick.  What are you doing?”

“Hunting flies.”

“Kill any?”

“Yep, 3 males, 2 females.”

“Really? How can you tell them apart?”

“Easy.  Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Learn To Be Still January 21, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Music & Dance.
41 comments

Alan Rickman, David Bowie, and Glenn Frey died this week, each of them taking a final bow before reaching their 70th year.

Alan Rickman flew under my radar until he sneered on screen as Severus Snape.  Like Dumbledore before him, Snape will live on in my imagination.

And now three favorite songs from musicians who helped transform me from who I was then to who I am now.

David Bowie ~ Rebel Rebel

David Bowie ~ Changes

Glenn Frey & the Eagles ~ Learn To Be Still

My only uncle died this week too . . .

IMGP3559b

But not until after he had a chance to celebrate his 91st birthday last summer!

2015-03-21 16-04-47_0003

We don’t have forever.  Only the time we are here.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Playing Tug-Of-War with Elephants January 19, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
35 comments

2015-03-04 14-23-45_0027Having had more than a few “dark days” when my sense of humor was MIA, I’ve learned to stop wrestling with thoughts that threaten to drown me in the abyss.

Instead of playing a losing game of tug-of-war with elephants, I “let go” of my end of the rope and walk away.

Trusting the Universe to unfold as it should until I am once again ready to steer into the wind.

Aah . . . that’s better!

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”  ~ Henry Ward Beecher

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