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The Triumph of Stupidity September 30, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
27 comments

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves and wise people so full of doubts.”
~ Bertrand Russell

Hmm . . . he sounds certain of himself, but did he really say that?

I wasn’t sure so I did a bit of cyber digging to alleviate my doubts.

I found a nugget that suggests that Russell may have said something similar, but different:

“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
The Triumph of Stupidity, Mortals and Others: Bertrand Russell’s American Essays, 1931-1935.

Hmm . . . he sounds cocksure about The Triumph of Stupidity, but did he really say that?

And does “the modern world” encompass the years 1931 – 1935?

Who was this guy anyway?  A fool?  A fanatic?  Stupid or Wise?  Cocksure or Uncertain?

To doubt, or not to doubt, that is the question.

Aah . . . that’s better!

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That’s Funny! September 7, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.
45 comments
A 100 watt ultraviolet light bulb.

Wikipedia ~ Black Light (in Public Domain)

Knock Knock jokes . . .

Light bulbs jokes . . .

Whether they seem funny often depends upon whether your sense of humor is screwed in tight or missing a screw.

Q. How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Laughing at silly jokes requires that you allow your funny bone to be tickled.

When you have a choice between laughing and taking offense . . . which do you choose?

I choose laughter.

Every time.

* * * * *

Q. How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the bulb has to really WANT to change.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

An Offer To Good To Refuse July 18, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Humor, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
17 comments

Tippy Gnu has fallen off his rocker.  Not a big surprise, I know.  We knew it was going to happen.  I mean, c’mon, he doesn’t even drink coffee.  What kind of red-blooded American writer doesn’t drink coffee?

Except, you know, when they are drinking alcohol.

But Tippy is not a tippler either.

No coffee.  No alcohol.  Nothing to blur the edges of reality.  So we knew it was just a matter of time before he toppled.

Now that he has, his topple is your Piglipple:

That’s right!  He’s giving away his Pumping up Piglipple book for FREE.

Go grab yours:  FREE BOOKS

Just remember to hold it by the edges and wash your hands thoroughly after your done.

Aah . . . that’s one Unique Unicorn!

 

For Your Next Murder Mystery . . . July 7, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Nature, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
34 comments

I don’t know about you, but I appreciate it when Agatha Christie wannabes write outside the box.

Instead of relying on mundane methods of murder to kill off “the surplus population,” creative writers explore alternative murder weapons.

If you are looking for a bit of inspiration for your next murder mystery, Britannica.com has got you covered:

7 of the World’s Deadliest Plants

Step away from that knife.  Put down that gun.  And wander out to the garden.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

“All In” April 27, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Word Play.
29 comments

Have you been watching James Holzhauer as he wows audiences on Jeopardy?

He’s got a photographic memory AND he’s a professional sports gambler who quick with the clicker ~> a lethal combination, especially when combined with his killer smile!

And he’s fearless!

When he lands on a Double Jeopardy, he calmly pushes it “All In” . . . doubling his score.

After 17 appearances, James has won $1,275,587 and he’s still going strong.

To put his performance in context, Ken Jennings won $2.5 million in regular games back in 2004 ~ but it took him 75 games to get there.

Before James, the single highest one day win totaled $77,000.

James has surpassed that record . . . 8 times!

His highest one day total to date ~ $131,127.

Aah . . . that’s amazing!

Six Little Stories April 21, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, People, Word Play.
34 comments

Goofy-Under-An-Umbrella{1} Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.

That’s FAITH

{2} When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.

That’s TRUST

Goofy-Riding-A-Bike{3} Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the alarms to wake up.

That’s HOPE

(4) We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.

That’s CONFIDENCE

(5) We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.

That’s LOVE

grumpy_thinking{6} An old man’s shirt reads: “I am not 80 years old . . . I am sweet 16 with 64 years experience.”

That’s ATTITUDE

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

A Quick Quiz March 9, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Life Balance, Mindfulness, Word Play.
31 comments

What iconic landmark springs to mind when someone says:

“Architecturally and culturally speaking, it’s Miami’s Eiffel Tower.”

C’mon.  Give it a go!

What world famous building or structure is worthy to be referred to as “Miami’s Eiffel Tower”?

It’s famous.
World famous.

It’s iconic.
It’s a landmark.

It’s located in Miami.

C’mon.
This should be the easiest quiz ever!

Then again, maybe, just maybe, the description threw you off.

Maybe the structure in question is NONE of those things.

Here it is . . .

aerial view of Miami Marine Stadium

Do you recognize it?

Would you describe it by saying:

“Architecturally and culturally speaking, it’s Miami’s Eiffel Tower.”

No?
Neither would I.

Maybe the inflated description used by the National Trust for Historic Preservation to describe Miami’s Marine Stadium is just ridiculous hyperbole used in an attempt to elevate the mundane to the magical.

Why do people use such ridiculous hyperbole?

To gain airspace?
To get people to tune in and listen?

To raise money for “good causes”?
To assuage low self-esteem?

More to the point ~> how can we make them stop?

I know!  Maybe we need to get better at tuning them out.

Mais oui!
Exactement!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related:  Miami Marine Stadium’s History and Planned Restoration

Three Zebras and an Ass February 21, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, Word Play.
26 comments

IMGP2754bThree zebras wandered a dirt road enjoying the day, convivial conversation alternating with companionable silence.

An enormous ass ambled over to them and began to bray.  Loudly.

The ass, delighted to have an audience for his grievances, complained about the weather, the surface of the road, the cost of carrots, his mother-in-law’s tongue, the state of the barn . . .

As the ass dumped his ponderous pile of dung at the zebras’ hooves, the zebras did their best to cheer him up.

To no avail.

No matter what the zebras said, the ass insisted that HIS view of the world was the right view of the world.

Zion smiled, “At times, we must choose between being right and being happy.”

“Poppycock!  I’m happy BECAUSE I’m right!  It just annoys me when people are rude and don’t apologize for being boorish.  Why just the other day . . .  ”

With that, the ass launched another stale tale.

Ziggy grinned, “We see the world behind our eyes.”

The ass snorted, “What utter nonsense!  I see things exactly as they are.”

Zodiac pricked up his ears, “I expect you’re right . . . most asses do see things exactly as they are.”

Satisfied, the ass ambled off in search of another audience.  As soon as he was out of sight, the zebras burst into fits of convulsive laughter.

“What an ass!”

zebras

Aah . . . that’s better!

Foxes With Sockses January 27, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
35 comments

Learning the English language is challenging.  It is filled with pitfalls and minefields that constantly keep us on our toes . . . whether or not we are hanging around with a Fox wearing Socks or a Cat in the Hat.

The following poem is not my original work, but it’s too cute not to share . . .

OK, class, let’s Start:

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

“No wonder Dr. Seuss always had such FUN!”
Said the Cat in the Hat to Thing 2 and Thing 1.

Aah . . . that’s better!

An extended version: The English Lesson, by Richard Krogh

The Best Teachers November 15, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Less IS More, People, Word Play.
26 comments

Aah . . . that’s better!