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SILENCE! May 23, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
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14 comments

I enjoy silence.

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During the day, we don’t have the TV on or music playing.

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Instead, we listen to the whir of the ceiling fan, the ticking of the clock, the rustle of palm fronds, the quack of the duck, and . . .

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. . . the loud insistence of The Cat.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Mr. Turner Is A Real Oinker! May 16, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Humor.
Tags: , ,
34 comments

Although Mr. Turner got stellar reviews from film critics, BFF and I had to rely on subtitles to clarify the garbled, mumbled, marbles-in-the-mouth, muddy dialogue.

Not that all the utterances required translation.

Far from it.

We heard the many, many, many, many, many, many, many pig-like grunts and groans from the lead actor loud and clear.

Leaving us to conclude that Mr. Turner is a real oinker!

zebras

Aah . . . that’s better!

Creating A Zen Garden May 13, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Mindfulness, Nature.
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34 comments

Ego’s appetite for accolades, approval, acclaim, acknowledgment, applause, admiration, etc., etc., etc., is insatiable.

The bigger it gets, the more often it asks to be fed.

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It is up to us to cut it down to size.

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Allowing the rest of the garden to emerge from shade to sunlight.

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TIP:  To remove tenacious roots, use a bulldozer.

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Once we evict overgrown and overblown tenants, we can replant.

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Mulching new blooms with care to prevent weeds from taking root.

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Buoyed by success, we expand our efforts to encompass other beds.

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Transforming a landscape of uncontrolled chaos into an oasis of peace.

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Aah . . . that’s better!

Mother’s Day Madness May 9, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Special Events.
Tags: , , , ,
49 comments

The-Pink-PantherFirst came March Madness.  Now it’s time for Mother’s Day Madness.

Every time I turn around some entity is telling me what to give mom for Mother’s Day ~ flowers, chocolates, wine, diamonds, candy, precious gems, silver, gold, etc..

And it’s not just for-profit businesses that want my mad money for Mother’s Day.  Non-profits want in on the action too.

And institutes of higher learning.

Pluto-RollerskatingThe Sierra Club suggested that mom might like a stuffed animal for Mother’s Day.

No, no, not a real animal stuffed by a taxidermist, a soft cuddly plush toy suitable for ages 1 – 100.

USC suggested that I get mom something in team colors so she can support the team every time she doesn’t watch a game.

Um . . . no.

But my favorite suggestion thus far.

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Hands down.

Tears rolling down my face as I laughed out loud at the audacity, the inanity, the sheer insanity of the suggestion.

Hotdog-On-A-Stick.

Yup.  That’s right.

If you don’t know what to get mom for Mother’s Day, consider getting her a Hotdog-On-A-Stick.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Talk About The Midnight Rambler May 7, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
46 comments

StreetlightWhen mom moved in with my younger brother and his family, my techie sibling set up motion detectors, infared lights, and alarms to monitor mom’s nocturnal wanderings and midnight rambles.

If she walks from bedroom to bathroom and back, it doesn’t break the beam and no alarm sounds.

If she walks outside the expected trajectory, an alarm goes off and my brother heads down to investigate.

One week, the alarm went off in my brother’s bedroom at 1 am, 3 am, and midnight on two different nights:

* The first time she said she was going marketing with my brother’s wife.
* The second time she said she was heading out for a walk.
* The last time she said she got up to make coffee for my other brother (who was sound asleep . . . 2000 miles away).

Scruffy-CatEach time, my brother managed to direct mom back to bed . . . with only minimal disruption to the household’s beauty sleep.

Aah . . . that’s better!

TIP: Parents of teens (prone to wandering in the wee hours) might also find this type of technology useful.

3 Pelicans & A Spoonbill May 5, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Amazing Animals, Humor, Nature.
Tags: , , , ,
40 comments

A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I’ll be darned if I know how the hellican?

~ Dixon Lanier Merritt

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Like other snowbirds, pelicans flock to the region during season to commune on our lagoon.

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The resident snappy dressers, Roseate Spoonbills, happily share space with their snack happy northern cousins.

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As they glide across the mirrored surface of lakes, ponds, and lagoons, well-pouched pelicans scan for fish, dipping nets at the ready.

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Snatching fish in shallow stocked ponds is a *SNAP* for these sushi loving birds.

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As each fish gets scooped up and swallowed down, a resounding *SNAP* from the pelican’s pouch echoes across and around the pond.

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With every snatched snack, these voracious visitors smack their lips, keeping count in song:

100 tasty fish in the lake
100 tasty fish
I grab one out
And “SNAP* it about
99 tasty fish in the lake

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Spoonbills, in contrast, are less obvious in appetite as they silently sweep, swirl, and sift through silt at water’s edge:

The roseate spoonbill spends a lot of its time in shallow water feeding. It sweeps its open bill from side to side in the water to sift up food like small fish, shrimp, mollusks, snails and insects. It has touch receptors in its bill that help it feel its prey. Like the flamingo, the roseate spoonbill’s pink color comes from the food it eats. Some of the crustaceans it eats feed on algae that give the spoonbill’s feathers their rosy pink color. 

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Spoonbills don’t sing silly fish songs . . . but they do practice Tai Chi and Yoga.

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A good after-meal S~T~R~E~T~C~H aids digestion.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Be Afraid . . . Be Very Very Afraid May 2, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , ,
36 comments

Donald-DuckA police officer called the station on his radio.

*Officer* : “I have a case of domestic violence here. A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

*Dispatch* : “Have you arrested the woman?”

*Officer* : “Not yet. The floor’s still wet.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

That’s Greek To Me April 29, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, Music & Dance.
Tags: , , , ,
36 comments

A few weeks ago, we attended a Greek Glendi Festival at Saint Barbara’s Church in Sarasota.

We toured the church to learn the history of its vibrant Byzantine icons:

Byzantine art combines the classical respect for material form with the capacity of the abstract style to suggest the transcendental.  In this way it is able to present a pictorial world in which the historical and the metahistorical, the temporal and the eternal intersect.

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We gazed up at the decorous dome which revealed Christ surrounded by evangelists, prophets, and angels.

For a Virtual Tour of St. Barbara Greek Orthodox Church, click HERE.

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Returning to the massive festival tent, we enjoyed Greek Music, Greek Folk Dancing, and Greek Food.

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The distinctive sound of the bouzouki bounced around the tent as we ate.

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Spanakopita, Tyropita, Greek Salad, Loukoumathes, and Baklava Cheesecake!

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OPA! ~> a joyous reminder to stop and celebrate life where you are.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Moon Under Water April 27, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, People, Travel & Leisure.
Tags: , , , ,
51 comments

In March, we drove to St. Pete for lunch at Moon Under Water, a quaint British Pub with sidewalk service.

To learn the intriguing story behind the name, click HERE.

I ordered the Feta Taboule Salad with black olives and red peppers, served in a tortilla shell with Hummus and Pita.

A bit too much green and not enough grain for my tastes.

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BFF opted for Fish & Chips with a side of Tikha Masala Curry which tickled our “Tikha” . . . and our tastebuds.

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After lunch, we went in search of a Small Craft Taps and Casks House ~ The Ale and The Witch.

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We chuckled at a posted proverb but didn’t have a chance to sample the Witch’s Brew ~> the taps aren’t tapped at quarter past two.

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Next time we won’t arrive before the Witching Hour.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Irish Brothel April 25, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, People.
Tags: , , ,
41 comments

150px-Carlo_Crivelli_052Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat, watching the front door of the brothel across the road.

The local Methodist pastor appears, looks up and down the street, and goes inside.

“Would you look at that!” says the first Irishman. “Didn’t I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?”

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at the door, looks up and down the street, knocks, and goes inside.

“Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching!” says the second Irishman.

After roundly condemning the vicar and Rabbi, they see their own parish priest knock on the door.

“Ah, now dat’s sad,” says the third Irishman. “One of the girls must have died.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

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