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Wait Just A Tomato Picking Minute! May 15, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Home & Garden, Humor.
25 comments

This is a favorite time of year for us . . . tomato picking time at Hunsader Farms.

The first thing we pick is a good day to head out to the fields to fill our buckets with fresh tomato goodness.

Appearances not withstanding, we do NOT get carried away ~> tomato picking time is NOT the time to intone “less is more.”

We pick enough for us to enjoy with plenty more to give away.

Here are the bowls of tomatoes we kept to eat.

And here are the bowls of tomatoes we gave away to friends and neighbors.

Aah . . . that’s better!

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U.S. Congressman’s Day! April 28, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
23 comments

While eating breakfast with my teen-aged granddaughter, I asked her, “Is tomorrow a special day?”

Without skipping a beat she said, “Yup.  It’s U.S. Congressman’s Day.”

“Really?  What’s that?”

“On U.S. Congressman’s Day, our elected representatives step out of the Capital Building . . . if they see their shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit.”

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

The Tao of Pooh April 25, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness, Nature.
18 comments

Joy Roses shared this nugget on Nuggets of Gold:

As I pondered the image, these thoughts came to mind:

All things must pass.

Let go and go with the flow.

Every drop is part of the whole.

Water flows over and around obstacles in its path.

You can never step into the same river twice.

What thoughts came to you as you watched the river run?

Aah . . . that’s wisdom!

Do I Look Like A Pawn? April 21, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Less IS More, Life Balance.
32 comments

IMGP3167b“How can you quit practicing law?  Don’t you realize how many women would love to trade places with you?”

“Of course.  And now they can.”

“What do you mean?”

“As soon as I resign, they can apply for my position.”

“Haha.  Funny.”

“I’m not kidding.  They are welcome to it ~ it doesn’t fit me anymore anyway.”

“Be serious.  You’re a role model for young girls ~ living proof that women can do anything they want to do.”

“So?”

“So . . . that’s why you can’t quit.”

Chess“OK, let me see if I follow you . . . in order to prove that women can do anything they want to do you want ME to keep doing something I no longer want to do?”

“Exactly.”

“No thanks.  Sacrificing my freedom will not enhance their freedom ~ it would just turn me into a pawn.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Quote to Ponder:  Don’t worry about what the world wants from you.  Focus on what makes you feel more fully alive. What the world really needs are people who are fully alive.~ Joseph Campbell

* * * * *

Hand-moving-chess-pieceDo you resist being manipulated by public opinion?

If someone tries to play you, do you put them in “check” by highlighting their faulty reasoning or nonsensical logic?

Do tell.

I always wanted to be somebody . . . now I realize I should have been more specific. ~ Lily Tomlin

Ready, Set . . . Drink! April 7, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor.
22 comments

It’s National Beer Day!

So raise a glass to your favorite brew . . .

And, yes.
I know what you’re thinking.

Why April 7th?

That’s the date in 1933 that President Franklin Delano Roosevelt signed the Cullen-Harrison Act into law, making the buying, selling and drinking of beer and wine legal for the first time since Prohibition in 1920.

Oh, that’s not what you were thinking?

Well, fill me in . . .

Gotcha!

And I agree . . .

Why limit the fun to one day a year?!

Aah . . . that’s better!

The Lighter Side of Anxiety April 3, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
16 comments

Anxious?

Maybe that means that you’re in touch with reality . . .

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related:  Comedian Aparna Nancheria is Everywhere Right Now

Brilliant Text Message March 24, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, Joke.
16 comments

“Mary, I’m just having one more pint with the lads . . .

IMGP3282b

“. . . if I’m not home in 20 minutes read this message again.” ​

Aah . . . that’s perfect!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

101 Ways To Make $1,000 in 2018 March 23, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor.
19 comments

So I’ve been off doing my taxes, tidying up my cyber footprint, playing bridge, clearing out the cobwebs, exercising, and . . . generally neglecting my blog.

My bad.

I’ll be back soon, I think.

(That’s the plan, anyway.)

Until then, here’s a link . . .

To help you manage your bottom line and get your accounts in the pink . . .

101 Ways To Make $1000 in 2018

Aah . . . that’s better!

A Nun And Some Warm Milk March 17, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
34 comments

In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay  dying.

The Nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, they held the glass to her lips.

The frail Nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.

“Mother,” the nuns asked earnestly, “Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us.”

She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said:

“DON’T SELL THAT COW.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

The Golf Genie March 10, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Magick & Mystery.
29 comments

When Steve took his wife Betty to play her first game of golf, she whacked her first shot through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

Betty gasped.  “Oh, Steve!  What do we do?”

Steve cringed.  “We’ve got to go up there, find the owner, apologize, and see how much that drive is going to cost us.”

They walked up to the house and knocked on the patio door.  A warm voice said, “Come on in.”

When Steve opened the door, they saw broken glass all over the place and a broken antique bottle lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, “Are you the people that broke the window?”

Betty said, “Uh, yes, sir.  I’m really sorry about that.  It was my first time out and . . . ”

“No apology necessary.  I’ve been trapped in that bottle for over a thousand years.  Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes.  I’ll give you each one wish if you let me keep the last one for myself.  Deal?”

Steve grinned, “Wow!  I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.”

“You’ve got it.  And I’ll also guarantee you a long, healthy life!  And now you, young lady, what do you want?”

“I’d like to own a gorgeous home with servants . . . in every country in the world.”

“Consider it done.  And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary, and natural disasters!”

“Thanks!  By the way, I’m Betty.  And now, what’s your wish, genie?”

“Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle and haven’t been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with you.”

Betty gasped, “What if I say no?”

The genie shrugged and said, “Well, I guess your wishes won’t come true either.”

Betty mulled it over for a few moments and said, “You know, considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t mind having sex with a thousand-year-old genie.  What do you think, Steve?”

“OK by me, sweetheart.  If the roles were reversed, I’d do the same for you!”

So the genie and Betty went upstairs and spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other’s company.

After three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into Betty’s eyes and asked, “How old are you and your husband?”

“We’re both 35.”

“Wow!  Thirty-five and you still believe in genies?”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)