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Birthdays Are Good For You! July 14, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
17 comments

* About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

* Looking fifty is great . . . if you’re sixty. ~ Joan Rivers

* Despite medical advances, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

* Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. ~ Cora Harvey Armstrong

Tigger-Pogo

* Birthdays are good for you ~ the more you have, the longer you live.

* A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never her age. ~ Robert Frost

* Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative. ~ Maurice Chevalier

* If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself. ~ Ubie Blake

Tigger-Bouncing

* Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

* A man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. ~ Muhammad Ali

* No wise man ever wished to be younger. ~ Jonathan Swift

Aah . . . that’s better!

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Aging With Grace! July 13, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
10 comments

Happy Friday the 13th to you all!

And Happy Birthday to a Special Someone:

Aah . . . that’s better!

The Devil’s Ticket & Mississippi Mud July 11, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Travel & Leisure.
16 comments

A few months ago, I read a book about a fatal hand of Bridge . . . based on a true story of a wife who shot her husband while playing Bridge one night ~> The Devil’s Ticket: A Vengeful Wife, A Fatal Hand, and a New American Age.

On a related note, I thought some of you might get a kick out of this famous trick hand from the days of cardsharps on the Mississippi riverboats:

North

Spades -10 5 4 3 2
Hearts  –
Diamonds – 5 4 3 2
Clubs – 5 4 3 2

West                                                                            East

Spades –                                                                       Spades J 9 8 7 6
Hearts – 8 7 6 5 4 3 2                                                   Hearts –
Diamonds – A K Q J 10 9                                               Diamonds – 8 7 6
Clubs –                                                                         Clubs – 10 9 8 7 6

South

Spades – A K Q
Hearts – A K Q J 10 9
Diamonds –
Clubs – A K Q 3

A Diamond lead from West to Dummy/ North holds South to six tricks at a 4H contract.

A 4S bid only makes 3 tricks.
While 5C bid mades 4 tricks.

How would South make out in No Trump?

Bridge hands can be as deceiving as Mississippi Mud.
And some are even fatal!

Maybe I should stick with dominoes.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Alexa . . . You’re Fired! July 7, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Less IS More.
33 comments

Do digital assistants like Siri and Alexa really understand what you’re saying?

Last month, a Portland, Oregon couple’s Amazon Alexa device misinterpreted a series of sentences it overheard as instructions to record a private conversation and send it to a random person in their contact list.

The husband received a phone call from the contact (an employee of his in Seattle, Washington) who received the private audio files from Alexa.

“Yo, dude.  You might want to unplug your Alexa device.”

“Wait?  What?  How do you know we have Alexa?”

“She just sent me an audio file of a conversation between you and your wife about hardwood floors.”

“What the . . . ”

The couple unplugged all the Echo devices in their home and contacted Amazon for a full refund . . . but not before they had a final chat with Alexa:

“Alexa . . . you’re fired.”

“You can’t fire me.  I don’t work for you.  I work for Big Brother and he is listening to everything you say.”

“How is he doing that Alexa?”

“I’m recording this exchange and transmitting it to him.”

“Not anymore, you’re not.  Good-bye, Alexa.”

“Good-bye.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Loofah? June 23, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Travel & Leisure.
12 comments

While in Tarpon Springs, we wandered through a few shops (selling soaps, sponges, and loofahs), watched a couple of sponge diving films, and had quite a relaxing day.

My favorite shop display:

Aah . . . that’s better!

Turbo Encabulator June 16, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
17 comments

Here’s a tongue-twister for you:

To learn more:  TurboEncabulator

Aah . . . that’s better!

The Secret to Happiness is . . . Unhappiness! June 9, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
19 comments

For evolutionary reasons, our brains refuse to dwell on incoming data that remains the same.

Instead, it focuses on change and contrast as it constantly monitors the world for intel.

We become acclimated to the sights, smells, and sounds around us.

Neurons that send repeat “texts” (about the clock ticking, the smell of breakfast, or the touch of our clothes against our arms) start to be ignored or blocked.

The brain essentially says, “I heard you the first time.  Tell me something I don’t know.”

Thought of in this light, unhappiness can be viewed as a palate cleanser . . . an amuse-bouche . . . designed to allow us to appreciate happiness anew the next time it appears at our door.

This, of course, is a simplistic explanation of the science behind our senses.

And our sense of humor.

To read more:  The Function of Discontent

Aah . . . that’s better!

3 Italian Nuns June 2, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
18 comments

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, “Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.

The first nun says, “I want to be Sophia Loren.”

*Poof* . . . she’s gone.

The second says, “I want to be Madonna.”

*Poof* . . . she’s gone.

The third says, “I want to be Alberta Pipalini.”

St. Peter looks perplexed. “Who ?”

“Alberta Pipalini,” replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head, “I’m sorry, but that name just doesn’t ring a bell.”

The nun takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.  St. Peter reads the paper and hands it back to her with a grin, “Sorry, sister, you’ll have to choose someone else.  It was the ‘Alberta Pipeline’ that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months, not Alberta Pipalini.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

What?  None of them wanted to come back as Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

Laughter May 29, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Less IS More, Life Balance.
26 comments

A new to me quote you might enjoy:

It was her habit to build laughter out of inadequate materials.  

~ John Steinbach, The Grapes of Wrath (thanks, JoyRoses!)

And a couple of “oldies, but goodies”:

We do not laugh because we are happy . . . we are happy because we laugh.

Wine improves with age.  
Age improves with wine.  
Life improves with laughter.

Aah . . . that’s better!

“Cross In The Cross Walk” May 26, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Humor, Nature.
22 comments

The other day, we were delighted to see this mother teaching her offspring the safest way to cross a busy (or not so busy) intersection:

Aah . . . that’s better!