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The Best Way to Get a Trophy Wife October 3, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.

Betty-BoopBob, an extremely wealthy 70-year-old widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old woman who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm as she hangs on Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are in awe.

At the first chance, they corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”


Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”

“Wow!  How’d you persuade her to marry you?”

“Easy!  I lied about my age.”

“What, did you tell her you were only 50?”

Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Old Goats September 26, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Travel & Leisure.

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland.  At a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used.


She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.

“These,” she explained, “are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.”


She then asked, “What do you do in America with your old goats?”

A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours!”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Sophie’s Audience With King Tigger September 23, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Humor.

On neighborhood watch one night, Tigger eyes Sophie walking her owner.

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Tigger extends an invite for a brief meet and greet (or smell and tell).

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In short order, Tigger boots Sophie to the curb with a quick warning swipe.

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After telling Sophie to “back off,” Tigger relaxes and surveys his domain.

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Sophie sits and waits, hoping for a further audience with His Majesty, The Cat.

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Tigger remains aloof . . . which, after all, is what cats do best.

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Aah . . . that’s better!

The Pizza Project September 19, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor.

BFF and I decided we needed a new project.  After extensive evaluation and consideration, we agreed on “The Pizza Project.”

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It will be just like The Manhattan Project except (1) it won’t be conducted in secret and (2) nothing will get blown up.

Except, perhaps, our waists.

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Each week we’ll pick a pie to “sample.”  Any pizza that doesn’t meet our exacting specifications will be CHOPPED.

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Winning pies will move forward to the next round (which makes sense given their shape).

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We’ll continue this project until we tire of eating pizza (yeah, like that day is ever going to arrive) or we take on a new challenge ~> The Chocolate Project!


Aah . . . that’s better!

What are you working on?

If you’re between projects, remember the adage . . . “love what you do & you’ll never have to work another day in your life.”

7 Quick Links & Thinks September 15, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor, Joke.


Without fanfare, folderol, fuss or ado, 7 Quick Links & Thinks for you:

1. Fraudulent Truths

People often delude themselves.

When a “message” counters their deeply held “fraudulent truths,” they choose to ignore it.

Instead of re-evaluating the facts, they toss the messenger into the closest closet, slam the door, and ditch the key!

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

Kate Shrewsday ~> Have Mynde

2. Living The Good Life

Contrary to popular belief, you do NOT need a yacht to live the good life.  All you need is a friend with a yacht!

Sylvia’s Sunday Photo ~> Living The Good Life In Key West.

300px-Paradiso_Canto_313. Conversing with the Dearly Departed

When a photo of dad scrolls up on the screensaver I say, “Hi, dad!”

Just in case he’s listening from beyond the Twilight Zone.

I’m not alone.

Kate ~> I Said “Hi” to My Brother (Did That Just Happen)

4. The Twilight Zone ~> Conversing with Customer Service 

“Your call is important to us . . . but not enough to let you talk to anyone who can help you.”

Kate Crimmons ~> In Recovery or Notes from the Loony Bin.

RWS_Tarot_01_Magician5. Going Wrong With Confidence

In an amusing post on Glasses, BunKaryudo noted:

“Yet despite their shortcomings, both remain extremely confident in their opinions about everything.”

Bun’s observation immediately brought Donald Trump (and Rush Limbaugh) to mind.

That, of course, got me thinking about the blind leading the blind.

Let’s hope only a few near-sighted voters like Mr. Magoo end up voting for that yahoo.

6. Forest Gump, Part Deux

For a lesson in learning to flow with life, like Mr. Magoo, check out The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window and Disappeared:

Allan Karlsson caps off his long and colorful life by escaping from his nursing home on his 100th birthday. In short order, he comes into a possession of a suitcase stuffed with cash. With his new friend Julius, Allan decides to take it on the lam.

The movie reminded me of Forest Gump with flashbacks revealing the flow of life.  A “dark” comedy, but fun.

Don’s post, HOPE ~> Life is what happens as we “go with the flow.”

Tree-Frog-Percheda7. Don’t Cry . . . It’s Only A Joke

“Knock Knock.”
“Come In.”

BunKaryudo ~> My Ideal Reader

Aah . . . that’s better!

Reality: Facebook September 12, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.

7dwarfsFacebook allows us to share our lives with strangers while making new friends.  As an experiment, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook by applying the same basic principles:

Every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I ate for breakfast, how I feel, what I did the night before and what I plan to do tomorrow night.

grumpy_thinkingThen I show them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening and spending time in my pool.

I also listen to them and I tell them I’m laughing out loud. (Even if I’m not.)

It works!

I already have 3 people following me: a cop, a shrink, and a lawyer who says I’m eligible for social security disability due to “mental instability.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.) 

Setting The Bar LOW September 7, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Humor, Music & Dance.

Donald-DirectorIt’s easier to meet and even exceed expectations when the bar is set LOW.



Except, of course, when dancing the LIMBO after drinking a Jumbo Jamba Juice.

Or when skating under 39 cars like a human pancake.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Definitions September 5, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Word Play.

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

An insect that makes you like flies better.

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

A no-it-all.

A story you tell to one person at a time.

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

The pain that drives you to extraction.

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

An honest opinion openly expressed.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.) 

Six Little Stories August 31, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance.

Goofy-Under-An-Umbrella{1} Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.

That’s FAITH

{2} When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.

That’s TRUST

Goofy-Riding-A-Bike{3} Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the alarms to wake up.

That’s HOPE

(4) We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.


(5) We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.

That’s LOVE

grumpy_thinking{6} On an old man’s shirt was written a sentence “I am not 80 years old . . . I am sweet 16 with 64 years experience.”


Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Call The Paramedics! August 29, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

Brian-Oh-NoVinny and Sal are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Sal grabs his chest and falls to the ground.

He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

Vinny whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He tells the operator, “I think Sal is dead! What should I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

Brian-with-coffee-and-newspaperThere is a silence.
And then a gunshot is heard.

Vinny’s voice comes back on the line.
“Okay… Now what?”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)


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