jump to navigation

Attention: PLEASE! September 23, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
31 comments

Please . . . I repeat . . . PLEASE!

DO NOT USE the $1, $5, $10, $20, $50 or $100 bills in your possession as they have pictures of former slave owners on them!

Send them all to me and I will dispose of them properly!!!

I repeat, do not just throw them away!

They need to be disposed of properly and I am Certified to do so.

Thanks.

Aah . . . that’s rich!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Advertisements

A Sense of Humor is Key to Recovery! September 16, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Joke, Life Balance.
26 comments

When life is lobbing lemons your way and you don’t have the time to stop what you’re doing to make lemonade . . . LAUGH!  Finding something to smile or laugh about alleviates anxiety.

We just watched a segment on Bay News 9 which featured a psychologist who took her own advice during the approach, arrival, and retreat of Hurricane Irma.

“We have no control over the path of a hurricane as just seen with Irma who dodged east, then west, then east, then west.  We do have control over our attitude.”

She also urged folks who are wrestling with the emotional strain of the past few days to seek out and talk to friends, relatives, or therapists to regain perspective.

During the storm, I made an effort to maintain my sense of humor because going through life without a sense humor is like driving over potholes and boulders without shock absorbers.

It’s jolting!

Instead of being jolted around, joke around.

Crack silly jokes.  Even if the humor is childish.  Or not entirely PC.

A few examples . . .

BS was reading a book about Spencer Tracy’s love interests and love affairs with stars and starlets.  BS said he didn’t divorce his wife to marry Katharine Hepburn “because he was a good Catholic.”  I burst out loud laughing at her sum up of his character and offered a counter-point to her point:

Spencer Tracy was NOT a good Catholic.  Had he been a good Catholic, he wouldn’t have engaged in affairs.  Like other hypocrites, he just wanted to be perceived by others as being a good Catholic.

During the height of the storm, one of the reporters was talking about how they retire storm names.  I noted:

With global warming increasing, we may run out of all the easy names (e.g., Harvey, Irma, Jose).  

If we do, we’ll have to become increasingly creative with storm names (e.g., Yawanda, Chavonda, Chewbacca, etc.) 

I always feel better after a good hearty laugh.  How about you???

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

The Parrot September 9, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
19 comments

Kate went to a pet shop and spotted a large, beautiful parrot.

The sign on the cage said $20.00.

“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.

“This bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”

Kate thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.  She took it home and hung the bird’s cage in her living room.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, new madam.”

Kate was taken aback at the implication, but then shrugged. “That’s really not so bad.”

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, “New house, new madam, new girls.”

Kate and her daughters burst out laughing at the parrot’s unfiltered utterance.

A few minutes later, Kate’s husband Dave came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, “Hi Dave.”

Aah . . . that’s tricky!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Caller ID September 2, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Less IS More, Life Balance.
49 comments

Is this where we are headed?  

Is this our future?

“Hello! Is this Gordon’s Pizza?”

“No sir – it’s Google Pizza.”

“I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.”

“No sir – Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.”

“OK. I would like to order a pizza.”

“Do you want your usual, sir?”

“My usual?  Do you know me?”

“According to our Caller ID Data Sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses – sausage – pepperoni – mushrooms and meat balls on a thick crust.

“Yeah, sure, that’s what I want.”

“May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta – arugula – sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat, gluten free, thin crust?”

“What? I detest vegetables.  Just give me my usual.”

“Your cholesterol is not good, sir.”

“How the hell do you know that?”

“Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.”

“I don’t care. I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.”

“Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drugsale Network, 4 months ago.”

“I bought more from another drugstore.”

“That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.”

“I paid in cash.”

“But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.”

“I have other sources of cash.”

“That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.”

“WHAT THE HELL? ! ! ! !”

“I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.”

“Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google – Facebook – Twitter – WhatsApp and all the others!! I’m going to an island without internet – cable TV – where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me!!”

“I understand sir – but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.”

Aah . . . that’s better?

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Do You Agree with Max De Pree? August 23, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
27 comments

“You cannot become what you want to be by remaining what you are.” ~ Max De Pree

He’s got a point.

Unless . . . who you already are is who you want to be.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Aah . . . that’s better!

For more thoughts on Happiness:  TIME Guide to Happiness

That’s Quirky! August 19, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Travel & Leisure.
23 comments

After lunch, we headed down Richmond Road through Sorority Row, pausing long enough to snap a shot of Tri Delt (Delta Delta Delta) . . .

On our way to the Peanut Shop for “provisions,” we turned onto Prince George Street where we ran into a zebra-striped unicorn outside Quirks . . .

The unicorn sported a stellar horn and espoused a sound philosophy . . .

Why fit in when you were born to stand out? ~ Dr. Seuss

Aah . . . that’s better!

FREE Ice Cream, Glimpse The Eclipse, Movies August 15, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Food & Drink, Humor, Nature.
25 comments

These 3 stories might interest you:

#1  Uber is giving away FREE Ice Cream on Fridays

#2 How the Solar Eclipse will appear in your Zip Code

#3  Hollywood misses seeing us at the Movies

Maybe if movie theaters gave away FREE ice cream with each ticket they’d get a bigger crowd!

Aah . . . that’s better!

A Tree With A Split Personality August 12, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Nature, Travel & Leisure.
23 comments

We bumped into this tree near the Governor’s Palace in Colonial Williamsburg.

It’s got a split person-ality to it.

I wonder whether its caricaturish carvings inspired Disney to create the Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom?

I see definite similarities . . .

Aah . . . that’s better!

Colonial Architecture August 9, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Travel & Leisure.
22 comments

BFF and I enjoy walking around CW (Colonial Williamsburg) . . .

Admiring the colonial architecture . . .

Pausing to rest and take in the sights from a shady vantage point when our dogs get tired  . . .

Speaking of dogs . . .

DOG Street (the Duke of Gloucester Street) runs one mile from the Wren Building at W&M (the College of William & Mary) to the Capital at the far end.

Up and down the street are well-tended gardens . . .

Bursting with color . . .

And beribboned with inviting pathways  . . .

On the street proper, horse drawn carriages clip clop . . .

Atop the paved and car-free thoroughfare . . .

Their echoes interspersed with the sound of musket fire from the Powder Magazine . . .

Weary travelers may stop for a quick quaff at Chownings Tavern . . .

To quench their thirst with a pint (or three) of ale . . .

As long as you mind your P’s & Q’s, local residents never sit in judgment . . .

Mid-way between the College and the Capital is the Palace Green framing the opulent Governor’s Palace . . .

Within the Palace walls, you’ll find sculptured gardens . . .

And vine-covered trellises promising a respite from the heat . . .

You might be amazed by the shaggy maze . . .

Or intrigued with the rather barren grape arbor . . .

But even if you view the garden as a real hole in the wall . . .

It can still be the perfect place for a mindful moment . . .

Aah . . . that’s better!

Kennedy Space Center August 7, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Travel & Leisure.
18 comments

In June, we visited Kennedy Space Center in Titusville FL for the first time in decades.

We had a blast checking out stuff that blasted off into space . . .

The scale of the exhibits is mind boggling . . .

They just keep going and going and going . . .

Everything is so high tech . . .

And other worldly . . .

And tall . . .

And taller . . .

With lots of hands-on exhibits . . .

And glow in the dark installations . . .

With a touch of whimsy here and there . . .

Just for grins and giggles . . .

But the biggest grin of the day for me was this extremely high-tech schedule of upcoming launches:

You’d never know we visited in the digital age!

Aah . . . that’s funny!