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Courtesy Of The Wheel June 6, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
19 comments

On his first night in Prison, Joe slept fitfully.  Not only was he nervous and agitated, but he was unused to the sounds coming from the adjoining cells.

Just as he was about to drift off, a fellow inmate called out “16.”  In response, the entire cell block erupted into laughter.

Joe puzzled about it for a few minutes until sleep threatened to overtake him once again.

Just then, an inmate cried out, “10.”  As before, Joe heard a chorus of cackles bouncing off the bars.

This number calling continued for a time until, at last, Joe fell asleep.

In the morning, he asked his cell mate, Chuck, about the laughter-inducing numbers.

Chuck chuckled, “Well, we’ve been here for a dog’s age.  And, in that time, we shared just about every joke there is.  Rather than repeating them, we assign them numbers.  When someone calls out a number, we recognize the joke they’re sharing and laugh anew.”

Intrigued, Joe asked if he could give it a go.

“Sure.  Here’s the book of jokes.  Pick a number.”

Joe flipped through the book.

Deciding he liked the sound of Joke 21, he looked forward to “lights out” that night.

Once all the inmates were quieted down, Joe called out “21.”  No response. Not even a ripple of amusement.

He tried again, a bit louder:  “21.”  Nothing.

Perplexed, Joe leaned over his bunk, “Hey, Chuck.  What’s up?  It didn’t work. No one laughed.”

Chuck nodded, “Well, you know what they say . . . some people know how to tell a joke.  Others don’t.”

Aah . . . that’s funny!

Source:  Pat Sajak (Wheel of Fortune, 6/5/19)

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Happy Memorial Day! May 27, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Humor, People.
20 comments

Memorial Day weekend always reminds me of Countryside Swim & Tennis Club because that’s when the pool would be filled with F~R~I~G~I~D ice water and kids with no sense would race to the edge and jump in, bobbing around until they turned blue!

But it also reminds me of the Memorial Day parade to the local Revolutionary War cemetery for a graveside service.

The parade included Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Brownies, the elementary school band, the fife and drum corps (dressed in Revolutionary War garb), military veterans, volunteer firefighters, the town’s First Aid Squad, and local dignitaries.

Freedom.  It’s a good thing!

Aah . . . that’s better!

. . . And We All Fall Down! May 10, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Gratitude, Happiness, Humor.
35 comments

Our letter carriers are collecting nonperishable food items tomorrow morning to deliver to local food banks and pantries.

Last night, I started collecting  a few items to include in our donation bag ~ Quaker Rolled Oats, Lipton Tea Bags, Black-Eyed Peas, etc.

Some of the items were out of reach.  Since BFF was still eating dinner, I stepped up on my handy dandy step stool . . . armed with a spatula to extend my reach still further.

No luck.  The Tea Bags were still out of reach.

I swapped out the step stool (10″ high) for a ladder back chair (17″ high) so I could reach the box of tea bags stashed in the tippy top of the pantry.

SUCCESS!

Until I stepped off the chair . . . into thin air!

I had forgotten where I was and “muscle memory” kicked in.  It knows that I always use a 10″ high step stool to reach out-of-reach pantry items.  As soon as my left foot had descended 9″, muscle memory caused my body weight to shift from right leg (still on the chair) to left leg (dangling in air).

Muscle memory made sure that I was ready for a soft landing as soon as my left foot dropped the last inch and reached the floor.

Only the floor didn’t cooperate.  It was still 7″ away and didn’t rise to the occasion.

Down I toppled.

But muscle memory came to the rescue . . . saving me a trip to the ER.

When I was 13, I took a Judo self-defense course that taught us, inter alia, How To Fall.

Instead of tensing up, I relaxed and absorbed the weight of the fall on the balls of my feet, the palms of my hands, and on my well padded butt.  Instead of slamming my head into the cabinet, the counter top, or the floor, I curled into a “ball” by curving my spine and rolling as I made contact with the floor.

All said, I feel a bit bumped and bruised this morning, but that beats being broken and battered hands down!

Just ask Humpty!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Share A Shelfie! May 8, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Food & Drink, Humor, Joke.
47 comments

As a follow up to my last post, I thought I would start a new social media trend ~> SHELFIES!

Instead of taking photos of food and/or adult beverages at restaurants, or Selfies of yourself, share a “Shelfie” of your fridge contents on your Blog or Facebook page.

It’s easy!

No staging necessary!

Best of all, you don’t need a $3,000 Samsung Family Hub Smart Fridge to participate.  Just open your Frigidaire, Kenmore, Amana, GE, Hotpoint, or Whirlpool Fridge and snap a quick shot of its contents.

And while you’re there, grab yourself a snack!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related:  Forget selfies, we want to see your shelfies (The Guardian)

Refrigerdating May 4, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Home & Garden, Humor.
46 comments

What would the contents of your fridge say about you?

Refrigerdating is an app that works with Samsung’s Family Hub Refrigerator, a $3000 (or $4000) appliance with a built-in camera and touchscreen door.

The app allows you to browse ice box contents of potential dates for compatibility.

After all, we are what we eat.  Right?

Aah . . . that’s bizarre!

To read more: Refrigerdating (The Guardian) or Can Your Refrigerator Improve Your Dating Life?  (NYTimes)

 

May Day! May Day! May 1, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Health & Wellness, Humor.
29 comments

I’ve never seen the appeal of Hot Yoga ~ the idea of sweating in a sweatbox with a bunch of other sweaty folks is decidedly unappealing to me.

But I have wondered whether Hot Yoga offered benefits that I could cash in on while walking each morning in sweltering heat.

The answer?

Probably not . . .

Tracy and his team have conducted two experiments on the physical effects of Bikram yoga, which involves completing a strict series of poses over a period of 90 minutes in a room heated to 104 or 105 degrees. The first experiment included healthy (but sedentary) young adults with no yoga experience. After eight weeks and 24 Bikram sessions, Tracy says the study participants showed some modest increases in strength and muscle control, as well as a big improvement in balance. They also achieved a slight drop in body weight.

“To be honest, we were pretty surprised by the small size of the weight change, because when you’re in the Bikram studio you feel like you’re working really hard,” Tracy says. “And remember, these were people who didn’t regularly exercise before the study. We were expecting a bigger drop.”

For his follow-up experiment, Tracy hooked up experienced yogis to equipment designed to measure their heart rates, body temperatures, and energy expenditures during a typical Bikram session. That new data helped explain some of those disappointing body-weight findings: While heart rate and core temp climbed significantly (but not dangerously) during the 90-minute session, the participants’ metabolic rates—or the amount of calories their bodies burned—were roughly equivalent to those of people walking briskly.

“I think the immediate reaction is disappointment if you’re a Bikram fan,” Tracy says, adding that, if you’ve spent time reading about the activity online, you might assume you’d be shedding up to 1,000 calories per session. “But that’s not the case,” he says. His research shows men burn an average of 460 calories, while women work off about 330. “I think the heat and the difficulty of the postures combine to alter your perception of the intensity of the exercise,” he explains. On the other hand, one part of your body is getting a major workout, Tracy says. “Heart rates are quite high for the amount of work you’re doing. Quite high.”

To read more:

Is Hot Yoga Good For You ~ And For Weight Loss?

Cool! ~> I’ll continue to seek out the shade!

Aah . . . that’s better!

That’s Crazy! April 29, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Travel & Leisure.
20 comments

BFF dreamt that I was driving an RV . . .

out of a campground . . .

at full speed . . .

down a hill . . .

without stopping . . .

to unplug it first!

As a result of our hasty departure, the RV was dragging a 100-foot-long extension cord behind it as we careened down the hill.

Guess BFF doesn’t think much of my driving!   Flushed

Aah . . . that’s better!

“All In” April 27, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Word Play.
29 comments

Have you been watching James Holzhauer as he wows audiences on Jeopardy?

He’s got a photographic memory AND he’s a professional sports gambler who quick with the clicker ~> a lethal combination, especially when combined with his killer smile!

And he’s fearless!

When he lands on a Double Jeopardy, he calmly pushes it “All In” . . . doubling his score.

After 17 appearances, James has won $1,275,587 and he’s still going strong.

To put his performance in context, Ken Jennings won $2.5 million in regular games back in 2004 ~ but it took him 75 games to get there.

Before James, the single highest one day win totaled $77,000.

James has surpassed that record . . . 8 times!

His highest one day total to date ~ $131,127.

Aah . . . that’s amazing!

Six Little Stories April 21, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, People, Word Play.
34 comments

Goofy-Under-An-Umbrella{1} Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.

That’s FAITH

{2} When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.

That’s TRUST

Goofy-Riding-A-Bike{3} Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next morning but still we set the alarms to wake up.

That’s HOPE

(4) We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.

That’s CONFIDENCE

(5) We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.

That’s LOVE

grumpy_thinking{6} An old man’s shirt reads: “I am not 80 years old . . . I am sweet 16 with 64 years experience.”

That’s ATTITUDE

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

A Satisfying Sound April 11, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Less IS More, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
26 comments

I finished up our taxes this week.

Yay!  It’s always a good feeling to be done with them.

Better still . . . I spent a few minutes culling unnecessary documentation (old medical bills, outdated credit card slips and statements, insurance claims, charitable receipts, etc.) from our financial files.

Once culled, that weighty stack of paper disappeared into the jaws of our shredder.

A sound most “satisfying.”

Aah . . . that’s better!