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Snowden August 21, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
31 comments

What if they are watching every step we take?

What if they are reading, saving, and collating our e-mails, library cards, movie queues, blog posts, account data, fitbit readouts, grocery store purchases, etc.?

What if they keep track of the books we read and the movies we watch?

What if they eavesdrop on our conversations and use facial recognition software as we window shop?

What if they watch us while we’re sleeping and know when we’re awake?

What if they know when we’ve been bad or good . . . and decide to tell Santa on us?

Hmm . . . “let’s give them something to talk about.

A little mystery to figure out.”

Let’s do something wild and crazy and unexpected.

Let’s be who we are and say what we will because . . . we can.

Aah . . . that’s better!

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Mountains August 10, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Nature.
25 comments

Mountains aren’t funny . . .

They are hill areas.

Aah . . . that’s punny!

Roadside Rest Shelters Rock! August 5, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Humor, Nature, Travel & Leisure.
27 comments

Before the arrival of McDonald’s drive thrus, parents often packed picnics to take on road trips (in case the natives in the back seat got restless or hungry).

To keep said natives occupied en route, parents assigned them the task of finding a suitable stopping point for lunch.  The task, thinly disguised as a game (complete with coveted prize) went like this:

“First one to spot a shaded picnic spot for lunch gets an extra cookie for dessert!”

Noses glued to the windows, kids scanned the horizon for a picnic spot that would score them an extra cookie.

And bragging rights!

* * *

Since a 2007 cross-country trip, Ryann Ford has been documenting historic roadside rest shelters with amazing vistas and views:

Roadside Rest Shelters: Destinations All Their Own

For a few more great shots of rest stops:

Attraction:  Retro Roadside Rest Shelters

I don’t know about you, but I think Ryann deserves an extra cookie for capturing these iconic images!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Meet Memorial Rock August 3, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Nature, Sustainable Living.
23 comments

What do you do with an 8.5 million-pound boulder that crashes down a mountainside, digs a trench across a highway, and stops in the middle of on-coming traffic?

Nope.  You do NOT blow it to smithereens.

Instead, you give it a name, escalating it to landmark status and creating a tourist attraction even better than a giant ball of rubber bands!

And, if your new landmark is located in the middle of a highway, you reroute the road, saving $200K in the process.

Meet Memorial Rock:

Colorado Highway Rocked By 8.5 Million-Pound Boulder’s Crash Landing

Aah . . . that’s a bold boulder!

An Offer To Good To Refuse July 18, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Humor, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
17 comments

Tippy Gnu has fallen off his rocker.  Not a big surprise, I know.  We knew it was going to happen.  I mean, c’mon, he doesn’t even drink coffee.  What kind of red-blooded American writer doesn’t drink coffee?

Except, you know, when they are drinking alcohol.

But Tippy is not a tippler either.

No coffee.  No alcohol.  Nothing to blur the edges of reality.  So we knew it was just a matter of time before he toppled.

Now that he has, his topple is your Piglipple:

That’s right!  He’s giving away his Pumping up Piglipple book for FREE.

Go grab yours:  FREE BOOKS

Just remember to hold it by the edges and wash your hands thoroughly after your done.

Aah . . . that’s one Unique Unicorn!

 

Take This Job . . . And Shovel It! July 16, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor, People.
34 comments

At my annual health and wellness exam, I asked my primary care physician about InSure ONE vs. Cologuard vs. a full blown Colonoscopy.

He did not recommend the InSure ONE test since it only screens for blood cells and not all polyps bleed.

And if they bleed, they don’t bleed all of the time.  They just bleed some of the time.

As a result, with InSure ONE, you will get a false negative some of the time. Which isn’t all that reassuring.

He did recommend giving Cologuard a go.  Pun intended.

Since Cologuard looks at the underlying DNA of the collected cells, you seldom get a false negative. If the results come back negative, you’re good to go for another year or so.  Which is reassuring.

There’s no need to do all the messy prep work involved with having a colonoscopy UNLESS you get a positive result.

Anyway, all of the above got me thinking about what must be one of the least desirable jobs in the medical industry ~> opening up boxes of Cologuard at the lab every morning.

Oh, Poo!

Get Out!!! July 12, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Home & Garden, Humor, Nature.
27 comments

Check this out:

Aah . . . that’s more bearable!

Courtesy Of The Wheel June 6, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
19 comments

On his first night in Prison, Joe slept fitfully.  Not only was he nervous and agitated, but he was unused to the sounds coming from the adjoining cells.

Just as he was about to drift off, a fellow inmate called out “16.”  In response, the entire cell block erupted into laughter.

Joe puzzled about it for a few minutes until sleep threatened to overtake him once again.

Just then, an inmate cried out, “10.”  As before, Joe heard a chorus of cackles bouncing off the bars.

This number calling continued for a time until, at last, Joe fell asleep.

In the morning, he asked his cell mate, Chuck, about the laughter-inducing numbers.

Chuck chuckled, “Well, we’ve been here for a dog’s age.  And, in that time, we shared just about every joke there is.  Rather than repeating them, we assign them numbers.  When someone calls out a number, we recognize the joke they’re sharing and laugh anew.”

Intrigued, Joe asked if he could give it a go.

“Sure.  Here’s the book of jokes.  Pick a number.”

Joe flipped through the book.

Deciding he liked the sound of Joke 21, he looked forward to “lights out” that night.

Once all the inmates were quieted down, Joe called out “21.”  No response. Not even a ripple of amusement.

He tried again, a bit louder:  “21.”  Nothing.

Perplexed, Joe leaned over his bunk, “Hey, Chuck.  What’s up?  It didn’t work. No one laughed.”

Chuck nodded, “Well, you know what they say . . . some people know how to tell a joke.  Others don’t.”

Aah . . . that’s funny!

Source:  Pat Sajak (Wheel of Fortune, 6/5/19)

Happy Memorial Day! May 27, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Humor, People.
20 comments

Memorial Day weekend always reminds me of Countryside Swim & Tennis Club because that’s when the pool would be filled with F~R~I~G~I~D ice water and kids with no sense would race to the edge and jump in, bobbing around until they turned blue!

But it also reminds me of the Memorial Day parade to the local Revolutionary War cemetery for a graveside service.

The parade included Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Brownies, the elementary school band, the fife and drum corps (dressed in Revolutionary War garb), military veterans, volunteer firefighters, the town’s First Aid Squad, and local dignitaries.

Freedom.  It’s a good thing!

Aah . . . that’s better!

. . . And We All Fall Down! May 10, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Gratitude, Happiness, Humor.
35 comments

Our letter carriers are collecting nonperishable food items tomorrow morning to deliver to local food banks and pantries.

Last night, I started collecting  a few items to include in our donation bag ~ Quaker Rolled Oats, Lipton Tea Bags, Black-Eyed Peas, etc.

Some of the items were out of reach.  Since BFF was still eating dinner, I stepped up on my handy dandy step stool . . . armed with a spatula to extend my reach still further.

No luck.  The Tea Bags were still out of reach.

I swapped out the step stool (10″ high) for a ladder back chair (17″ high) so I could reach the box of tea bags stashed in the tippy top of the pantry.

SUCCESS!

Until I stepped off the chair . . . into thin air!

I had forgotten where I was and “muscle memory” kicked in.  It knows that I always use a 10″ high step stool to reach out-of-reach pantry items.  As soon as my left foot had descended 9″, muscle memory caused my body weight to shift from right leg (still on the chair) to left leg (dangling in air).

Muscle memory made sure that I was ready for a soft landing as soon as my left foot dropped the last inch and reached the floor.

Only the floor didn’t cooperate.  It was still 7″ away and didn’t rise to the occasion.

Down I toppled.

But muscle memory came to the rescue . . . saving me a trip to the ER.

When I was 13, I took a Judo self-defense course that taught us, inter alia, How To Fall.

Instead of tensing up, I relaxed and absorbed the weight of the fall on the balls of my feet, the palms of my hands, and on my well padded butt.  Instead of slamming my head into the cabinet, the counter top, or the floor, I curled into a “ball” by curving my spine and rolling as I made contact with the floor.

All said, I feel a bit bumped and bruised this morning, but that beats being broken and battered hands down!

Just ask Humpty!

Aah . . . that’s better!