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A Heron, an Osprey, and a Fish March 29, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Humor, Nature.
16 comments

The other day, I stepped out onto the back deck and observed a peaceful scene.

Several turtles were busy sunning themselves on the far bank of the lagoon.  A lone vulture circled on hidden currents overhead.  A Great Blue Heron on the far bank stood guard over his respective territory, a white egret fished at water’s edge, while an ibis pecked in the dirt for grubby morsels.

Just then an osprey flew overhead with a fish clenched in its talons.

The osprey took in the scene, circled back (doing a 180), and swooped low over the head of the Great Blue Heron who squawked in protest, flapping his wings at the intruder.

Unperturbed at the GBH’s vociferous annoyance, the osprey finished his fly-by, circled back again (this time doing a 360 turn) to swoop low over the head of the Great Blue Heron a second time.

The osprey sang out, “Hey!  I’ve got a fish and YOU do NOT!”

The GBH squawked in protest, screaming out his displeasure while shaking his “fists” at the sky.

With that, the osprey winked at me and went off to enjoy his sushi.

I got the sense that this was NOT their first encounter with one another.  Perhaps the GBH had boasted about one of his prior fishing trips, thus nettling the osprey.

In any event, the only player who got a vote of sympathy from me . . . the fish!

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

Down The Hatch March 27, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor.
8 comments

I got a kick out of the name of this boat on Echo Lake at Hollywood Studios:

For ships, “Down The Hatch” is a more palatable refrain than “Bottoms Up!”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Replacing Obamacare March 25, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor, Joke.
37 comments

The American Medical Association has weighed in on Trump’s proposed health care package to replace Obamacare:

The allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, and the neurologists thought the administration has a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”

The psychiatrists thought the idea was madness, while the radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing, and the internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The plastic surgeons opined that Trump’s proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.”

The podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought a new plan would be a gas, and those lofty cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the proctologists pointed out that, for now, the entire decision is in the hands of those assholes in Washington.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

The Topiaries Are Tops! March 21, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Nature, Travel & Leisure.
21 comments

Before Florida temps rebound for the sultry summer season, we’ve been “hitting the trails” to enjoy the fine weather ~ around the neighborhood, on the beach, and at Disney.

We got annual passes for the first time this year and have logged LOTS of miles traipsing through Epcot, the Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and the Magic Kingdom ~> 6.7 miles, 10.4 miles, 7.6 miles, 5.1 miles, 5.9 miles.

On our last 2 visits, I’m not sure how far we walked because my pedometer went on strike!

One of our favorite things so far has been all the gorgeous gardens and topiaries.

A Giant Panda in China enjoying a sunset snack of bamboo:

A Troll in Norway who seemed FROZEN:

Bambi, Thumper, and Flower in a bed of flowers:

Rafiki and Simba . . . “Ah Zabenya!”

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice & Bewitched Broomsticks:

A trio of glamorous ostriches enjoying the bright blue skies too much to bury their heads in the sand:

And these topiary wannabes ~ Dory and Marlin ~ who, I must admit, looked like two fish out of water:

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

 

 

5 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Miserable March 18, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Joke, People.
50 comments

Don’t worry . . . even for novices, misery can be attained with these 5 easy tips and techniques!

1.  Cling to Entitlement.  Life owes YOU.

2.  It’s ALL personal.  Ignore nothing and always assume malicious intent.

3.  Focus on problems.  Keep track of all your problems and constantly review them.

4.  Magnify.  Don’t cheat yourself out of misery by maintaining perspective.  All that negativity will eventually become your reality.

5.   Just say “No Thanks” to Gratitude.  Focus on all the ways life disappoints you and keep them in the forefront of your mind.  Discount anything that is going well in your life.

And remember . . . Misery LOVES company.

The more you share yours with others . . . the more you’ll wind up having!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Some Alarming News! March 15, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
26 comments

We saw the most bizarre segment on the news the other night.

The reporter, standing in the middle of the beach, surrounding by turquoise waters, blue skies, and swaying palms, was SCREAMING into her microphone:

AUTHORITIES IN THE AREA ARE ON HIGH ALERT.

SPRING BREAK FOR COLLEGES STARTS THIS WEEK.

In a futile effort to prove her point that disaster was afoot, she proceeded to interview a few folks relaxing on the beach who seemed NOT to be on high alert.

They was just chilling!

Next, she interviewed a spokeswoman for Visit Sarasota who also seemed Far Too Calm for the impending disaster looming on the horizon as she explained that rooms at the inn are far and few between from mid-February to mid-March . . . and also for Easter week.

The reporter got a bit more fodder from a police officer who explained that some spring breakers consume too much alcohol and do things they oughtn’t.

At which point, the segment swung back to the reporter SCREAMING into her microphone:

AUTHORITIES IN THE AREA ARE ON HIGH ALERT.

SPRING BREAK FOR COLLEGES STARTS THIS WEEK.

She reminded me of Chicken Little!

But as we looked around, we saw no evidence that the sky was falling.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

 

That’s No Lurker . . . That’s BFF! March 4, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.
20 comments

Goofy-Riding-A-BikeOne morning, as I chatted with a neighbor in the parking lot after water aerobics, BFF pedaled slowly around the lot waiting for me to stop talking and hop on my bike to head home.

After his 3rd or 4th circuit, I waved him over, “Donna, have you met my husband, BFF, before?”

She hadn’t.

But, instead of greeting him, Donna laughed out loud. “OMG!  He’s your husband.  I thought he was a lurker!”

Amid a chorus of giggles, I started singing ~> “Lurk.  Lurk.  Lurk.  They call him a lurker.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Pere Noel March 1, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor.
29 comments

Pere Noel (guava berry rhum from the island of St. Maarten) was one of my favorite Christmas gifts this year . . .

I got a kick out of the turban-topped bottle and we all got a kick out of the variance between what we expected it to taste like (fruity and delicious) and what it did taste like (medicinal and unpalatable).

In that sense, it was an experiential gift!

A gift that I will continue to enjoy since I kept the bottle to put out with my other Santas next year.

That said, once was enough.

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We finished the bottle one Friday in late December when we went to a friend’s house for Happy Hour.  The rum-soaked guava berries in the bottom of the bottle were amazingly terrible . . . like eating concentrated NyQuil.

Since misery loves company, I made sure that everyone tried one!

Along with Pere Noel, we received two Kinder Surprise Eggs (also from St. Maarten).  Inside the hollow chocolate egg are Cracker Jack type prizes ~ we got a Fireman with hydrant and hose and a Chef with a bar-b-q grill.

Like everyone else, the Chef was unimpressed with his taste of Pere Noel’s guava berry rhum.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

 

The Book of JOY February 27, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
37 comments

I just finished reading The Book of JOY:  Lasting Happiness in a Changing World.

Written by Douglas Abrams, it chronicles a week-long visit between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu in April 2015.  The visit centered on discussions about how to find Joy in the midst of obstacles like fear, stress, anger, grief, illness and death.

“Together they explored how we can transform joy from an ephemeral state into an enduring trait, from a fleeting feeling into a lasting way of being.”

In a brief introduction to the topic, these two compassionate leaders emphasize that Joy is an inside job:

“Lasting happiness cannot be found in pursuit of any goal or achievement.  It does not reside in fortune or fame.  It resides only in the human mind and heart, and it is here that we hope you will find it.”

Joy is never in things . . . it is in us.

Likewise, many of the obstacles to joy and happiness are also manifested from within -> obstacles like fear, anxiety, grief, anger, frustration come from “negative tendencies of the mind, emotional reactivity, or from our inability to appreciate and utilize the resources that exist within us.”

We can increase the Joy that surfaces and circulates in our lives by the perspective that we bring to the table.  In fact, perspective is the first of Eight Pillars of Joy which form the foundation of a joyful and happy life:

Perspective ~ How we relate to the issue IS the issue.  By way of example, the Dalai Lama’s exile from Tibet was (in his words) “an opportunity” which provided him with “wider contact and new relationships, less formality and more freedom to discover the world and learn from others.”

Humility ~ Stop taking selfies.  Enough said.  😀

Humor ~ Laughter is a great pain reliever, a de-stressor, and an ice breaker. We do not laugh because we are happy.  We are happy because we laugh.

Acceptance ~ When we accept the “what is,” we stop adding to our suffering by battling with things we cannot change or jousting with imaginings. Acceptance is “the sword that cuts through resistance, allowing us to relax, to see clearly, and to respond appropriately.”

Forgiveness ~ Failure to forgive is akin to watching stale reruns in a furious effort to hang onto feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment.  As a result, we remained trapped by the past and tethered to the person who harmed us. Forgiving the person who harmed us allows us to reclaim the keys to our happiness.

Gratitude ~ “Gratitude helps us catalog, celebrate, and rejoice in each day and each moment before they slip through the vanishing hourglass of experience.” Gratitude magnifies drops of joy.

Compassion ~ When we are kind and compassionate, we experience more joy.  “Even ten minutes of meditation on the well-being of others can help one to feel joyful for the whole day.”

Generosity ~ When we are generous with our time and talents, we experience more joy.  “Giving joy to others is the fastest way to experience joy ourselves.”

No big surprises there, eh?

The book concludes with Joy Practices . . . “Overcoming the Obstacles to Joy” and “Cultivating the Eight Pillars of Joy.”

Tigger-BouncingThat’s right . . . just like the pianist who wants to get to Carnegie Hall, we’ve got to practice!

If we’ve spent a lifetime looking at events through the clouded lens of past experience (relying on habitual attitudes, stale judgments, and outdated opinions) rather than seeing the present moment as it is, that’s not going to change overnight.

If we wish to change our perspective and begin to view the world with alert curiosity and acceptance, then we will need to practice.

Enlightenment is rarely attained by those seeking instant gratification.

That’s OK.  We have a lifetime to get it right.  (More than a lifetime if we plan on reincarnating.)

And in the meantime . . . there’s cake!

During the week these two mischievous men spent together, they celebrated the Dalai Lama’s 80th birthday at the Tibetan Children’s Village.

With cake.

Although the cake did not provide lasting happiness, it did offer up some tasty ephemeral satisfaction to the attendees.

And that ain’t peanuts!

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

 

 

A Moose Called Jim February 25, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Humor.
26 comments

One of our favorite shops in Bar Harbor Maine is Cool As A Moose.

There is something so pleasantly comical about a moose.

Or meeses.

I love meeses to pieces.

Especially ones named Jim!

Aah . . . that’s better!