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Butch The Rooster August 8, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke.
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43 comments

IMGP0864Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

She kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.

Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!

2014-05-05 11-54-38_0042When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah entered Butch in the Dowerin Show and he became an overnight sensation.

The judges not only awarded Butch the “No Bell Peace Prize,” they awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.

Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention?

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

 

A Wardrobe Malfunction August 5, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Simplify Your Life, Sustainable Living.
Tags: , , ,
46 comments

Not long ago, my wardrobe suffered a malfunction . . . it exploded!

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A jumble and tumble of clothing and hangars landed on the bed.

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As I waded in to weed out “the keepers” . . . Tigger supervised.

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He kept a keen eye on me as I reviewed closet contents piece by piece.

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I unearthed several stacks of “cast offs” for donation to Goodwill.

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Reverse Retail Therapy ~> Priceless!

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Aah . . . that’s better!

Skeptics, Sinners, and Cynics August 3, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, People.
Tags: , , , ,
59 comments

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My siblings and I are close together in age.  At one point, my parents had four kids under the age of five to supervise.

Which made for challenging mealtimes.

Last week, I listened to a tape of us eating dinner in the early 60’s.  Dad recorded it to send to his parents in Vermont.

Chicken-Little-Poster

What a hoot!

My sister’s chicken . . . “It’s too Hot!”
Her asparagus . . . “It’s too Big!”

I ate everything on my plate . . . except for the meat.
Jim ate all his meat . . . but left his veggies.

Snoopy5Doug got up without permission to watch TV.

Someone gave Muffin a chicken bone.

Oops . . . my bad!

I don’t know how mom and dad put up with us night after night.

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The funniest thing was when dad asked 5-year-old Doug to describe how he got in trouble on the first 2 days of kindergarten.

Woodstock-&-SnoopyDoug replies with suspicion:  “Well, who are you recording this tape to?”

He didn’t want his confession to end up in the wrong hands.

:-X

Aah . . . that’s better!

Golf Balls August 1, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Fun & Games, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , ,
36 comments

Golf-BallA man got on the bus with both front trouser pockets full of golf balls.

He sat down next to a beautiful blond who kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

After several puzzled glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”

GolferThe blond nodded, thinking about what he had said.

A few minutes later, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

More Than A Numbers Game July 29, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Gratitude, Happiness, Humor.
Tags: , , , , ,
62 comments

Donald-Ducka

Blogging is more than a numbers game for me. I am interested in quality interactions, not sheer quantity of visitors.

1. I have more followers than visitors and more visitors than comments. That’s OK.  People who comment tend to be people who enjoy expressing themselves via the written word.  Others don’t possess that gene.

2. Writing is great when we have something to say.  It’s a burden, a bore, and a chore when we write just to say something . . . for that, there’s Facebook.

3. We don’t know the impact our words have on others ~ perhaps what I write will entertain, amuse, educate, or resonate with someone “later” (at the exact moment s/he needs to hear them).

Or perhaps not . . .

The-Pink-Panther

4. One night, someone who hadn’t visited for a while commented on 20+ posts in no time at all ~ as if engaged in a race to some imaginary Finish Line.

I wondered about the point of her blitzkrieg.
Did she think I would find it flattering?

5. When I started blogging there was no LIKE button on WordPress. When it first appeared, I LIKED that visitors could LIKE a post without adding to the discussion thread if they had nothing to say.

But then I saw how “Waldo Was Here” visitors overused the LIKE button, perhaps as a fishing lure to get me to visit their blogs?

Haha!  Joke’s on them . . .

6. Tired of receiving notifications of LIKES (which require no response), I disabled the “E-mail me whenever someone . . . LIKES one of my posts” button.

Mickey-OK7. My goal for SLTW is simple ~> enjoy the journey as the path unfolds.

If I’m enjoying the journey, I win.  No matter what.

After all, if it’s not fun, why blog?

Aah . . . that’s better!

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.” ― Dorothy Parker

Related posts:  Does Passion Always Lead To Success? (L. Marie’s Blog) * Two Years On (Lively Twist) * Want to Succeed? Let Go. (Think Simple Now) * Inspiration ~ Let It Go (Find Your Middle Ground) * The Path of Least Resistance (SLTW) * WordPress 108: Liking, Following, or Not (Lively Twist)

Danger! Danger! July 27, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Exercise & Fitness, Happiness, Health & Wellness, Humor.
Tags: , ,
49 comments

Mountain-BikingA few months ago, the Sierra Club sent me a link to 6 of America’s Most Dangerous Hiking Trails.

Reading the list did NOT make me want to strap on my hiking boots.  Heat, cold, thin air, ice, bears, and snakes knocked all 6 hikes out of contention for a coveted spot on my Bucket List.

At least until I’m ready to kick the bucket.

I prefer to avoid falling rocks, unexpected blizzards, and encounters with wild and savage beasts while hiking.

At the Arch

Despite my survival instincts, I enjoy hiking to waterfalls and mountain tops.

As the path unfolds before me, I embrace movement, air, light, sound, and glorious vistas.

These days, most of our “hiking” (if you’re being charitable) takes place on the beach.  Air, sunlight, splashing waves, turquoise seas ~> BLISS!

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And nary a snake in sight!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related posts:  When Is A Step Not A Step (My Year of Sweat) * Rock Climbing in YosemiteAn Appalachian Adventure * Would You Answer This Ad?

Quick Quiz: Retirement July 25, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Travel & Leisure.
Tags: , , ,
58 comments

grumpy_thinkingHere’s a Quick Quiz about Retirement.  See how many you get right:

1. When is a retiree’s bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

2. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.

3. Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

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4. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal.

5. Why don’t retirees clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. If they do, their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

6. What do retirees call someone who refuses to retire?
A. NUTS!

7. What do retirees consider formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.

8. What do retirees do all week?
A. Monday to Friday, nothing. Saturday & Sunday, they rest.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Free of Charge! July 23, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Mindfulness, Nature, Synchronicity & Mystery.
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41 comments

IMGP1097bLike the sun, our inner spark never dies.

Sometimes we can’t sense the flame because it’s obscured by the “clouds and fog” of daily living.

Battered and bruised by a barrage of distractions, we become limp with nothing to fill our sails.

The whisper of the wind or the wash of waves on the sand may be all it takes for us to soar again.

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Nature recharges our batteries.

Free of charge!

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Even when we are grounded.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related: Keep Close to Nature’s Heart (Find Your Middle Ground)

Dive Deep July 21, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: , , ,
31 comments

ChessIt’s challenging to be around people (even those we adore), when they seek constant reassurance and admiration for each new handbag or pair of shoes.

Or desire that we mirror their shifting emotions (from glad to mad to sad).

Or ask that we validate their daily choice of books, sports, movies, or “must see TV.”

Mickey-Diver“And yet not choice but habit rules the unreflecting herd.” ~ William Wordsworth

Here’s to diving DEEP . . . far below the distracting currents!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Stuck in the Shallows (Find Your Middle Ground)

Rising Tides July 18, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Nature, Spirituality & Faith.
Tags: , , , ,
46 comments

170px-Creation_of_the_Sun_and_Moon_face_detailA minister got caught in a flood. When the water was up to the porch of his church, a canoe came by and offered help.

“No, God will provide.”

The flood waters rose still higher until he found himself on the porch roof.  Again a canoe came by offering help.

“No, thanks.  God will save me.”

Soon the minister was clinging to the church steeple. A helicopter lowered a line and told him to grab on so they could pull him to safety.

“Thanks.  But God will save me.”

The waters continued to rise and he drowned in the raging flood waters. When he stood before God, he asked why he was allowed to drown. “Why didn’t you save me?”

“I sent you two canoes and a helicopter. What more did you want?”

Aah . . . that’s better!

“People always call it luck when you’ve acted more sensibly than they have.” ~ Anne Tyler

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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