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7 Pearls of Dubious Pedigree January 27, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Mindfulness, People, Word Play.
Tags: , , , ,
48 comments

Every so often, I toss flotsam, jetsam, and/or detritus overboard in order to keep synapses firing at optimal efficiency.

Here for your consideration are 7 Pearls of Dubious Pedigree:

Ringling Museum 018c1.  Judgment is discernment.

Judgment gives us the ability to weigh options and choose between competing priorities.  We would be lost without it.

Fundraisers unite
with one common goal ~ to take
your money and run

Even if you give ALL opposing ideas, thoughts, and opinions the benefit of the doubt, that doesn’t mean they possess any inherent validity.

Some ideas are ignorant, idiotic, and/or just plain evil.

Not convinced?  Keep reading . . .

2. Rejecting Social Acceptability.

Next time you’re in a restaurant (or, better still, the bowling alley!), reach over and grab a handful of French fries or a slice of pizza from your neighbors.

See what happens.

Snoopy-and-Schroeder

3.  The Zeitgeist Movement and the Venus Project.

If parents can’t make equitable distributions between 2-3 offspring, how would society do so for everyone?

“How come Mozart got a GRAND PIANO and I just got a stupid harmonica?”

“Be glad it’s not a rock, Charlie Brown.”

3D-Cow4.  Why are carnivores averse to cannibalism?

Why are cows, pigs, chickens, and turkeys gobbled up while horses, dogs, cats, and rodents are shunned by everyone but Andrew Zimmern?

Why are we willing to donate our organs to science . . . but not to someone’s breakfast table?

5.  A “Pay It Forward” Pyramid Scheme.

There’s a Pay It Forward chain letter circulating through cyber space.

When I saw it for the first time, I refrained from leaving a comment on the post because I did NOT want to be selected to win an “unspecified surprise” . . . not if it meant agreeing to add five more people to the chain by offering to send them an unspecified surprise if they would each agree to add five more people to the chain.

Snoopy2

Etc.  Etc.  Etc.  Ad Nauseum.  The whole thing is just too forced and phony.  A pyramid scheme gone awry.

I’m happy to perform “good deeds” and “random acts of kindness” on an ad hoc basis, but I don’t like gifts with strings attached.

And, even if I enjoyed being manipulated via cyber strings, I’m not going to agree to send out 5 surprises in exchange for one surprise I might not even like.

“Be glad it’s not a rock, Charlie Brown.”

When we are mindful, ample opportunities to be kind appear in our In Box every day . . . without the necessity of entering into contrived cyber contracts.

IMGP1368a6. Happiness is ‘eeling.

Laughter each day keeps the doctor away.

He who laughs, lasts. ~ Mary Pettibone Poole

And even if you don’t get better, you’ll feel better.  It’s a win-win for everyone.

Except the doctor.  But ‘eel get over it!

Eek . . . an eel!
Grasping on to my heel!
Whilst wrapped in chain

Oh what a sight
I shudder with fright
But ‘eel steal my pain

All’s well that ends well

The Eel that Time Remembered (Kate Shrewsday)

448px-Alice_05a-1116x14927.  No Fungus, Please.

When I was a kid, I ate a poisonous mushroom in the backyard and had to have my stomach pumped.

It left a bad taste in my mouth.

That’s why I refuse to eat fungus.

If ever I get around to writing a Vegetarian Cookbook, it will NOT include any recipes featuring mushrooms, toadstools, or truffles.

I’ll call it, No Fungus, Please!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related Posts:  13 Pieces of Potpourri * 13 Unpolished Gems . . . One Stone7 More Unpolished Stones

Virtual Reality: Travel January 24, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke, Travel & Leisure.
Tags: , , ,
46 comments

Earth_Eastern_HemisphereAs I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. – John Glenn

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. – David Letterman

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport – Jonathan Winters

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. – Spike Milligan

Donald-Duck-DrivingYou know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t. – Jeff Foxworthy

In hotel rooms I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. – Jonathan Katz

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. – George Roberts

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Friendships Based On Mutual Distrust January 21, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Life Balance, Life Lessons, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: , , , ,
78 comments

IMGP3921“Offering superficial approval, passive agreement, and placating compliments is easy. Being a good friend is hard.”
~ Janna T. Writes

Yup.

When friends ask us to “be honest,” they don’t always mean it. Instead of thanking us for our honest candor, they may lash out or turn their backs on us.

That happened to me once upon a time.

A friend asked me what I thought of the guy she was dating. Everyone else (including her mother) lied to her and said he was wonderful. I told her that he seemed selfish and full of himself.

He dumped her a few months later.

At that point, everyone else (including her mother) admitted that they had NEVER liked him, that he was a complete and utter jerk, that she was better off without him, etc.

IMGP1472aAnd she was OK with their about-face.

Even though she KNEW they had intentionally lied to her, she was OK with their dishonesty.

She was NOT OK with my honesty.

She gave me the cold shoulder for YEARS, later revealing the reason why.

As I pondered her belated explanation, I decided that, if given the chance, I would not retract my words to gain her approval by lying.

Maintaining pseudo-friendships based on mutual distrust and insincere platitudes seems rather pointless.

What do you think?

Be Honest!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related post:  Kindly Be Honest

Tigger Goes To The Dentist January 17, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Amazing Animals, Animal Welfare, Health & Wellness.
Tags: , , , ,
71 comments

Lion-RaaarYesterday, Tigger went to the vet for a much needed dental cleaning and probable tooth extraction.

We couldn’t feed him due to the pending surgery.

He is used to eating breakfast as soon as he gets up.

By 7 am, he was HOWLING HUNGRY.

Once he got to the vet’s office, he got very, very quiet . . . in a “if I don’t make any noise, maybe they won’t notice me” sort of way.

Since Tigger is diabetic, the vet needed blood work done before the surgery to make sure that Tigger would survive the anesthesia.

“If his blood work looks good, we’ll do the surgery and you can pick him up at 3 pm.”

Holding our collective breath, we were sent home to wait by the phone.

For the next 7 hours, watching the clock occupied my attention.  Abandoning all attempts to be Zen, I filled the dragging minutes with unfounded fears, tears, and dreaded “what ifs?”

Woodstock-&-Snoopy3At 3, we called.  All of Tigger’s blood work had looked great except for glucose (still high).  The vet had extracted four teeth and cleaned the remainder.

We paid the bill with a happy exhale and returned home with our little guy.

“Just keep him on wet food for a few days and bring him back in 2 weeks for a re-check of the gums.”

If you had stopped by yesterday afternoon, you would never have guessed that Tigger had been in for dental surgery that morning (except for the shaved area on his right foreleg from the IV).

Lion-Side-ProfileI guess Tigger didn’t get the memo that he was supposed to be groggy.

He came home, ate his l-o-n-g overdue breakfast, drank some water, and then, instead of curling up for a cat nap, headed to the door for a walk.

He marched out the door on his leash . . . with a happy tail flying high.

I love a tail with a happy ending.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder January 13, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Humor, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , , ,
82 comments

Tigger-BouncingAs some of you noticed and noted – thank you! – I have not been posting every day.

That trend may continue:

1.  I started SLTW, in part, to create a searchable database for notes and quotes gathering dust in files, notebooks, and journals.

After five years (and more than 2,500 posts), much of that backlog is now up and running.  Yay!

Tigger-Looking-At-His-Tail2.  Last year, I culled my draft folder from 80+ unfinished posts to a more manageable 17!  Yay!  I’m satisfied with that level of behind-the-scenes ballast.

3.  My mantra this year is “acceptance” and “let it be.”  I don’t feel like pushing myself to crank out “one a day” posts.

If it happens, it happens.  If it don’t, it don’t.

4.  For now, sharing my view of the world seems less compelling than using that time to play the guitar, stretch, exercise, meditate, create, cook, listen to music, eat chocolate, etc.

Tigger-Pogo5.  Posts on SLTW often flow from using thought-provoking and compelling posts on other blogs as springboards.

*BOING* . . . *BOING* . . . *BOING*

At the moment, the community offered by reading and commenting on other blogs seems sufficient.

6.  Instead of staying on the Post-A-Day treadmill, I’m (a) being lax, (b) cutting myself some slack, and (c) going with the flow.

7.  I want to post when I have something to say . . . not just because I want to say something.

Tiggers-R-UsAs I relax and let life unfold, I anticipate posting often enough that it won’t be a case of “out of sight, out of mind.”

I much prefer the adage, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Aah . . . that’s better!   

Coasting Downhill January 9, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
Tags: , , , ,
39 comments

It’s great when we reach the point that we can say with confidence: “Who I am is who I want to be.”

Then we can coast downhill to the finish line.

Mountain-Biking

Aah . . . that’s better!

Crossing “Feed Ego” Off Our To Do Lists January 6, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Life Lessons, Spirit & Ego.
Tags: , , , ,
52 comments

Woodstock-&-Snoopy2

Once upon a time . . .

I wanted to be a FAMOUS Rock Star.
I wanted to have OODLES of money.
I wanted to write a BEST SELLING NOVEL.

Et cetera.  Et cetera.  Et cetera.

I wanted to DO SOMETHING so that I would BE SOMEONE.

Then I woke up to the realization that to BE SOMEONE, I don’t have to DO anything.  I just need to . . . BE ME.

Broccoli-Mocking-StewieWhen our motivation for action arises from a desire to Feed Ego with accolades, approval, acclaim, acknowledgment, applause, admiration, etc., etc., etc., we are always worried about falling short of the bar (or flat on our face).

We are concerned about what “they” think of us.  We act (and re-act) to protect Ego’s fragile reputation.

Only Ego doesn’t really exist.

Once we see that Ego is imaginary, ego-driven motivation (i.e., the desire to impress) and self-doubt fall by the wayside.

We become more confident in the steps we’re taking.

We no longer feel the need to reach a predetermined destination, so we’re not worried about falling short of the mark.  We stop looking over our shoulders to see who’s watching.  We no longer seek external validation that we’re doing “it” right ~ whatever “it” is.

Mickey-Surfer

Fear of failure dissipates because it no longer matters whether others are impressed with us or not.

Our locus of control shifts.
We reclaim our power.
We trust ourselves again.

Et cetera.  Et cetera.  Et cetera.

Aah . . . that’s better!

When we know WHO we are . . . we know HOW to live. ~ Goethe

No Reply January 5, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Life Lessons, Mindfulness, Nature, Spirit & Ego.
Tags: , , , , ,
44 comments

Chinaman-fishingSilent stars twinkle
in the ebony night sky

Ancient muted light
radiates to greet the eye

The eternal now
echoes ~ I ask, “Why am I?”

I listen . . .

No reply

How To Cripple A Butterfly January 4, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Life Lessons, Mindfulness, Nature, People.
Tags: , , ,
46 comments

Mickey-DiverIf we rush to comfort a baby every time he cries, he doesn’t learn to comfort himself.

If we toss a “fish” every time someone’s hungry, they won’t learn to fish for themselves.

When we rush to empathize or sympathize every time someone has a “hang nail,” we are training them to look to OTHERS to meet their needs rather than looking WITHIN for guidance.

We are encouraging them to share every minor annoyance and aggravation in their lives because it “feels good” to get attention from others . . . and we can give ourselves a pat on the back for “being there” for them.

We need not refrain from helping others when they really NEED help, but we may do more harm than good if we rush to help without allowing others the time needed to process things.

ButterflyThe best way to cripple a butterfly is to interfere with its efforts to emerge from the cocoon.

Our struggle to emerge is part of the path.

 Aah . . . that’s better!

Too Soon To Mourn January 3, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, People, Poetry.
Tags: , , , , , ,
22 comments

170px-Maes_Old_Woman_DozingThey’re already gone
In so many ways that matter

It’s too soon to mourn
They’re still on life’s stage

We sit in the audience
Watching the curtain fall

How much will be left
When nothing is left at all

Of the way they were?

 * * *

A hint:

Aah . . . that’s better!

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