Why Are You So Annoyed? July 29, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.comments closed
Sometimes we get annoyed at others because they are exhibiting a trait we have not fully integrated and accepted as part of ourselves.
Sometimes. But not always.
Other times our annoyance is for other reasons entirely:
* I get annoyed (to use a gentle word) with animal abuse, child abuse, and elderly abuse because those actions are morally wrong, not because I share the abuse trait with abusers.
* I get annoyed at bullies and line cutters and liars and cheats and polluters and litterers because I am acting as “unpaid advocate” for the “little guy” whose rights they are trampling.
* I get annoyed when people are late, time and time again, not because I share that trait, but because they are being selfish. In essence, they are saying that their time is more important than mine.
A flicker of annoyance, standing alone, does not always mean that the object of our annoyance is acting as a mirror for something we need to work on.
As Don noted in The Clowns Around Us, there are those who hijack what could have been genuine heartfelt productive discussions by deflecting, rather than reflecting.
Instead of staying on point, they derail the intended conversation with a joke or off-color remark.
Saying, in essence, “Look at ME!”
I see any number of people who don’t share that trait getting annoyed when someone presses the *disconnect* button on an interesting exchange.
As noted in the comment thread on Don’s post (well worth a read), many of us are starved for genuine conversation and connection in our daily lives.
We long for opportunities to discuss matters of genuine import, to engage in the civilized exchange of ideas, and to offer compassion to those in pain.
So we may feel a flicker of annoyance when someone derails the exchange.
A flicker of annoyance (like other emotions) is a signal designed to get our attention so we can choose how to respond to the situation at hand.
Once noted, we must decide whether to take affirmative action or “let it go” and get on with the day.
The third option (stewing in our own juices while doing nothing to change the situation) is almost always a non-productive use of time.
Aah . . . that’s better!
Spirit Lights The Way 