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Dear Gabby . . . March 20, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Fiction, Humor, Joke, Mindfulness.
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At PiP’s request, let’s focus our attention on Blog Etiquette for a moment.

Dear Gabby:  I just read a post that makes me furious.  I am spitting mad.  What should I do?

Signed, I.Rate

Dear I.Rate:  People will not always see eye to eye.  That’s a given in life.  I suggest that you take a deep breath, count to ten, and ask yourself whether your anger will matter a year from now.  Love, Gabby

Dear Gabby:  I just read your advice to I.Rate and I disagree!!!  You think you’re so smart but you are no smarter than anybody else on the internet!!!  Are you a psychiatrist?  A psychologist?  A therapist?  A counsellor?  No!  No!! No!!! No!!!!  Why don’t you leave the advice giving to the experts????  Signed, Man on the edge

Dear Man on the edge:  You sound upset.  Are you having a bad day?  Week?  Month?  Year?  Life?  Or did you just forget to take your meds this morning?  Stop picking on Gabby.  She, like most of us, is doing the best she can.

Signed, Fan of Gabby’s

Dear Fan of Gabby’s:  Thank you for that.  You have obviously learned to counter negativity with positive energy and warmth for your fellow man, especially for those on the edge or at the end of their rope (even if the rope is of their own making) .  Peace and love, Gabby.

Dear Gabby:  You know NOTHING about me!!!  I am not at the end of my rope.  I am just defending myself from your insidious attacks on me and my kind.  I’ve been reading your column for awhile now and you don’t know what you are talking about half the time.  I’d get as much or more out of  reading that stupid comic strip, Calvin and Hobbes.  Signed, Man on the Edge (a/k/a the Mad Hatter)

Dear Fan of Gabby’s:  Stop being such a suck up!!!  You’re just being nice to Gabby because you want to make ME look bad.  Well I won’t stand for it.  Why don’t you mind your own business?  No one here cares what YOU think.  You have just as many enemies as I do.  Signed, Man on the Edge

Dear Man on the Edge: What do you mean?  Calvin and Hobbes is my favorite comic strip.  I’d rather read it than anything.

{{pfffffflllllllbbbbbb . . . .}}

Signed, Hobbes

Dear Man on the Edge:  Take a chill pill.  Signed, Dr. DoRight

Dear Dr. DoRight (or should I call you Dr. DimWit? . . . or maybe Dr. Doofus):  What are you?  One of those New Age Practitioners???  Do you practice what you preach???  Why don’t you go CHILLAX before I take an AXE to you?  Signed, Man on the Edge

People, People:  Move Along.  There’s Nothing to see here.  Signed, Officer Bar Brady

TimonDear Officer Bar Brady:  Who put you in charge???  You have no jurisdiction here.  Go back to South Park where you belong!!!  You’re a disgrace to law enforcement every where.  The only police officer on the planet worse than you is Chief Wiggins.  Signed, Man on the Edge . . . Waving a Gun

Dear Waving a Gun:  Put the gun down and put your hands in the air.  You’re under arrest.  Signed, Kenny (deputized by Officer Bar Brady)

Dear Kenny:  {{B~A~N~G}}  Signed, Man with a Smoking Gun

OMG, He killed Kenny!

Quote to Ponder:

When asked what he thought of Western civilization, Gandhi responded, “I think it would be a good idea.”

What do you think?

Related posts:  Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  The Case of the Public Scolding * WP Weekly Writing Challenge ~ Dear Abby

Comments»

1. Sandra Bell Kirchman - March 20, 2011

OMG, Nancy, this is priceless. That quote by Gandhi sums it up nicely.

I read a post or two once on Classy Rose’s blog from a reader that just made me spitting mad. I thought of all kinds of replies and pondered whether to post them (I do have a rather sharp tongue at times). I decided Rose was doing a good job with her and not to add fuel to the fire…but it was hard.

This has been happening more often recently. Where do the crazies come from. I have decided that my tack of thinking the responses up relieves some of the anger, then deciding not to post them gives me control over my involvement in the situation (which is, actually, non-involvement).

That’s not always true, though. Sometimes I will write a gentle, persuasive post not referring to the incendiary comment that started the whole thing but giving an alternative viewpoint on an independent basis (holy cow, I just read that and even I don’t understand what it means…okay scrap the big words). I write another comment that tells people what *I* do in certain situations. No one can tell me that my experiences are wrong. It’s gentle (usually, but seems to do the trick). However, I only do this if the angry person keeps on posting his/her comments.

I also like the way you handle it 😛

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Thanks, Sandra. Glad you enjoyed. I do the same thing. I think of what I would say if I wanted to act as crazy and irrational as those behaving badly. Then, I self-muzzle. 😀

BTW: I understood ALL your big words. I is smart. 😉

Sandra Bell Kirchman - March 20, 2011

lol yup you is. First rule of writing – use simple words unless you want to show off your erudite inclination, in which case be prepared to lose fans…by the handfuls. 😛

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

It’s all about balance . . . keeping it simple without “dumbing it down” too much. 😉

Paula Tohline Calhoun - March 20, 2011

BTW, Nancy, instead of “lose fans,” Sandra means “relinquish the intelligently adoring discernment of the multitude of rabid followers.”

Sandra Bell Kirchman - March 20, 2011

rofl, busted, Pauline. When I was in high school, in the senior year book they printed that my favorite pastime was using long words. It has taken me literally years to write the simple way. As one of my mentors used to say…KISS! (Keep it simple, stupid :P)

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

@PTC: LOL at your erudite clarification.

@SBK: Balance is key. If each sentence requires a dictionary, I lose interest. If all I’m reading is “Run, Spot, Run,” I lose interest even faster. 😀

2. carldagostino - March 20, 2011

Dear Gabby: When people write to you for advice why do they become enraged when you give them some? If they are even writing they have to be at the end of their gazeek rope in the first place. signed Ben Dover

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Dear Ben Dover: Your guess is as good as mine. Sometimes it is as simple as someone having forgotten to take their meds that morning. Love, Gabby

Sandra Bell Kirchman - March 20, 2011

rofl did anyone catch the meaning of the writer’s name? (I’m still chortling.)

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Carl is a master of illusion with words. Ben Dover is just the tip of his icy wit.

3. Piglet in Portugal - March 20, 2011

Brilliant well thought out post with an important message!

It made me laugh and the pictures were great 🙂

I loved the humorous slant and for once I can’t add any further thoughts to this…yeah yeah I know it’s a first!
PiP

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Thanks for the inspiration, PiP!

This post started out in one direction ~ actual blog etiquette tips and quickly degenerated into mud slinging, name calling, and other inappropriate internet behavior.

Gandhi summed it up perfectly. 😉

Piglet in Portugal - March 20, 2011

The Ghandi quote was the icing on the cake 🙂
PiP

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

It makes you think, doesn’t it? 😎

4. suzicate - March 20, 2011

Blog ettiquette? Fabulous idea…let’s pass it on! I am always suprised when I hear of people being rude in the comment section, I just don’t understand why. Why must someone say anything if if they can’t play nice?

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

I agree.

And when I disagree, I try not to be disagreeable.

5. Loreen Lee - March 20, 2011

Dear Time Out Box:

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
— Apple Computer Inc.

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Great quote, LL.

Of course, not all “crazy ones” are genius. Some are just plain crazy . . . or cranky. 😎

6. Loreen Lee - March 20, 2011

Dear Time Out Box:

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
— Marilyn Monroe

Love.

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Maybe that’s it. Maybe we just don’t deserve you, LL. 😎

7. Loreen Lee - March 20, 2011

Dear Time Out Box:

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
— Oscar Wilde

Circular Argument: Its bed time. It’s time out.
Good night everyone. I shall stick to my philosophy, and feel no regret about my venture into Irish History.

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

I’ll see your Oscar Wilde, and raise you a favorite aphorism:

“When you have conquered the enemy within, there are no enemies left to conquer.”

BTW: Your venture into “Irish History” did NOT land you in the “time out” box . . . it was your ad hominem attacks and vituperative remarks that grew tiresome to me. Cheers!

8. Paula Tohline Calhoun - March 20, 2011

Great post, and hilarious – although it also rings rather true, doesn’t it? I’m sending you an e-mail. . .

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Thanks, PTC. This post started out on the “straight and narrow” and quickly took on a life of its own.

Here’s to having an amusing muse. 😉

9. barb19 - March 20, 2011

Love this post Nancy – great job! Ghandi’s quote sums it up perfectly.

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Thanks, Barb. I feel the same. Western Civilization is not yet as civil as I would desire. 😎

10. Lisa - March 20, 2011

I absolutely love this! Thanks for the smile. I also love Calvin and Hobbes, but that is neither here nor there.

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Thanks, Lisa! Maintaining a sense of humor helps even out the rough patches.

BTW: Hobbes will be delighted to hear that you’re a fan. 🙂

11. Carol Ann Hoel - March 20, 2011

Yes, western civilization would be a good idea. 🙂 Great post, Gabby… I mean Nancy. Blessings to you…

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Thanks, Carol Ann.

Here’s to remaining calm, cool, collected, and civilized when faced with daily challenges.

12. libraryscene - March 20, 2011

You’re on a roll today… still love the crazy monkey, but love the Kenny part more (you been watchin’ South Park?) thanks for the fun & the needed laugh

nrhatch - March 20, 2011

Thanks, LS. My muse was quite amusing today.

I started watching South Park 15 years ago. Wow! That’s hard to believe. Time flies.

13. Tilly Bud - March 21, 2011

Clever way to show how things should(n’t) be done.

nrhatch - March 21, 2011

Thanks, Tilly. A bit different from my regular posts . . . and lots of FUN to write.

14. oldancestor - March 21, 2011

Our public figures seldom demonstrate or encourage civility these days. Whether we like it or not, people take their cues from that.

nrhatch - March 21, 2011

Perhaps we need to put THEM in the “time out” box. 😀

15. nrhatch - March 21, 2011

For an AWESOME follow up . . . please see the ADDENDUM with a link to a Public Scolding!

An enraged citizen . . . was removed from a public meeting for being OUT OF ORDER.

16. Cindy - March 21, 2011

Very funny post, Nancy, and totally enjoyable banter here in the comments 🙂

nrhatch - March 22, 2011

I enjoyed writing this. Maybe I’m a latent Advice Columnist. 😀

17. aawwa - April 5, 2013

Very witty! I enjoyed the quote: “When asked what he thought of Western civilization, Gandhi responded, “I think it would be a good idea.”

nrhatch - April 5, 2013

Gandhi nailed it! We have a long way to go.

Here’s to remaining calm, cool, collected, and civilized when faced with daily challenges.

18. Should’ve Been Freshly Pressed 1 : Dear Gabby | Resident Alien -- Being Dutch in America - April 14, 2013

[…] Posted by nrhatch in Blogs & Blogging, Fiction, Humor, Joke, Mindfulness. Tags: Mindfulness trackback […]

19. Jorge - October 28, 2013

Loved it! 😀 Pretty much what you see in forums, YouTube comments, Facebook, Twitter and the like. Cheers! 🙂

nrhatch - October 28, 2013

Thanks, Jorge! Yup . . . they are out there! :mrgreen:

20. belle.beckford - October 28, 2013

That was very funny!

nrhatch - October 28, 2013

Glad you got a kick out of it! 😀

21. Suzanne - October 28, 2013

This is fantastic! And I love the Ghandi quote at the end. Nicely done! 🙂

nrhatch - October 28, 2013

Thanks, Suzanne! Loved what you did with the prompt too. Perfect for Halloween.


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