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7 Random Thoughts & Links June 27, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Lessons, People.
Tags: , , ,
39 comments

Hand-rolling-dice1.  Life is a crap shoot . . . and sometimes we get the Royal Flush!

Related: Caca Happens.  Wipe It Off (Brickhouse Chick)

2.  It’s a comedy of errors when we have to modify our normal ADL’s by switching to our non-dominant hand.

Related: R5 for March 8 (Views & Mews by Coffee Kat)

Huey,-Dewey-And-Louie3.  Often, when there is a tug-of-war between HIM and HER, a female confident is no more than the monkey in the middle, dismissed with a wave once peace is restored . . . because HER doesn’t want to be reminded of passing clouds.

Related: The One-Night Stand Conversation (Lively Twist)

4.  Many of us set out to change the world . . . only to find (decades later) that the world changed us.

Related: A Memory (Candid Impressions)

5.  Although a book with an attractive cover may catch our attention . . . it won’t hold it for long without a compelling story between the covers.

Related: Beauty, A First-Class Ticket (Lively Twist)

Butterfly6.  People love to label us so they know which pigeon-hole or box to shove us in . . . as if we were a butterfly to pin to a specimen board.

But we are far more than that.

No single question, occupation, or experience can encapsulate the totality of who we are.

Related:  Scaredy L. Marie (El Space)

7.  A cake (like life) always seems a bit more than the mere sum of its parts!

Related: Life Is Like . . . Cake (Find Your Middle Ground)

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Aah . . . that’s better!

Rabbit Holes & Reunions June 20, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Special Events.
Tags: , , , ,
38 comments

220px-Alice_par_John_Tenniel_27I’ve never attended a high school reunion ~ not when we lived 12 hours away and not when we lived an hour away.  Other than friends I’ve stayed in touch with, I’m not that curious about which rabbit holes fellow classmates fell down.

* “High school isn’t a very important place. When you’re going you think it’s a big deal, but when it’s over nobody really thinks it was great unless they’re beered up.” ~ Stephen King, Carrie

Last year, a classmate sent me a link to a youtube video of a multi-class high school reunion. I watched without pangs of regret for not having attended.

* “The hope was, people like me got to finally find our place in college or in the actual world. People who understood this told you that high school wasn’t the actual world, that it was more like a temporary alternate reality you were forced to believe in for four years. A video game you played, where you could never get to the next level no matter how hard you tried.” ~ Deb Caletti, The Six Rules of Maybe

In contrast, BFF and I have attended Homecoming Reunions at W&M because (1) we love Wmsburg and (2) fall is the best time to visit.  Sometimes we even pop into reunion activities to catch up with old school chums.

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But not always.  Sometimes we’re “otherwise engaged” (i.e., busy drinking Mint Juleps at the King’s Arms Tavern).

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Aah . . . that’s better!

And now one last quote for the Three Quote Challenge (thanks, Sylvia!):

* “Problem is, the bathroom pass can’t help you escape life. It’s still there when you come out. Problems and crap don’t go away hiding in the can.” ~ Simone Elkeles, Perfect Chemistry

If you want to play along, consider yourself nominated.  Then swing by Another Day in Paradise to see how many rules I failed to follow.

Building To The Punchline June 13, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
Tags: , , , , ,
28 comments

Andrew Stanton begins his TED talk with a joke about three men in a bar in the Scottish Highlands ~ a backpacking tourist, a bartender, and an old man.

He uses the joke as a tool to convey compelling storytelling:

* The old man engages the audience, drawing us into his world and revealing his character as he shares his tale with a strong Scottish brogue.

* He makes us care as he explains how he built the bar, constructed the stone wall out front, and installed planks on the pier . . . “with me bare hands.”

* The old man claims center stage with the sole speaking role, yet all three characters are necessary.  None is extraneous.  The tourist provides the reason for the telling of the tale.  The bartender’s presence establishes that the old man is not exaggerating.

* In the same way he crafted the bar, the stone wall, and the pier, the old man builds his story on a firm foundation, one piece at a time.  He keeps the finish line in mind.  He never veers off course.  He steers the story to its predetermined end.

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* He creates drama (“anticipation mingled with uncertainty”) as he decries the fact that he’s not called “MacGregor the Bar Builder” or”MacGregor the Stone Wall Builder” or “MacGregor the Pier Builder.”

Now he’s got us!

We’re curious.  We want to hear the end of the story.  We want to know what he IS called.  We are ready for the reveal . . .

* When he delivers the punch line, he doesn’t complete the sentence. He allows the thought to hang mid-air.  He doesn’t spell it out.  He doesn’t beat us over the head.  He doesn’t insult our intelligence.  He doesn’t reveal his actual nickname.

He allows us to follow the breadcrumbs and connect the dots.

He’s given us 2 + 2 and leaves it to the born problem solver in each of us to fill in the blanks and come up with the solution.

And we do.

Mickey-OKSince he constructed his tale with the same precision he used when building the bar, the stone wall, and the pier, we lay the last piece with confidence.

There’s no wiggle room.  We cannot misplace his meaning.

“Och, mon . . . ye must be MacGregor the Story Teller!”

Aah . . . that’s better!

First published: L. Marie’s Blog ~ The Stanton Effect: Building To The Punchline

‘Til Death Do Us Part June 6, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Humor, Joke.
Tags: ,
47 comments

Groom-&-Bride-catsJacob, age 90, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami, are excited about their decision to get married.  They go for a stroll around town to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore.

Inside, Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”

“We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”
“Of course, we do.”

“How about medicine for circulation?”
“All kinds.”

“Medicine for rheumatism?”
“Definitely.”

“How about suppositories?”
“You bet!”

“Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer’s?”
“Yes, a large variety. The works.”

“Over-the-counter remedies for heartburn and indigestion?”
“We sure do.”

“You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?”
“All speeds and sizes.”

“Adult diapers?”
“Sure.”

“Reading glasses, tweezers, band-aids?”
“Yes, sir.”

“Great! We’d like to use this store as our Bridal Registry!”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

How Not To Get Sick In Church May 30, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Spirituality & Faith.
Tags: , , , ,
36 comments

IMGP3928Q.  What’s the best way to avoid getting sick in church, especially during cold and flu season?

A.  Stop going to church.

That’s my solution anyway.

And, no, I’m not worried that some personified deity will smite me down for not attending church services.

After all . . .

What artist would paint a Daisy then punish it for not being a Rose?

Aah . . . that’s better!

Why It’s Important NOT To Give A Shit! May 25, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Life Lessons, People.
Tags: , , , , ,
31 comments

In the following clip, Carlin discusses the dissonance between who he thought he was and who he really was and how he shifted mid-career from someone who was on stage to entertain by pleasing people to someone who was on stage to share his honest thoughts with the world.

One reason people claim that there are “no mistakes in life, only lessons” is because (if we pay attention), everything teaches us something.  We are always evolving, shaped by our experiences with people, places, and things:

* We try X, it doesn’t resonate, so we cross X off the list b/c X is not what we are here for.

* We try Y, it fits likes a glove, so we keep doing Y, until we are prompted to move past Y and onto Z.

I suspect Carlin didn’t feel as much dissonance at the outset of his career.  But once he saw his peers (Lenny Bruce, Bob Dylan, Buffalo Springfield, Grace Slick) shrugging off the status quo, he knew he needed to head in the same direction.

Aah . . . that’s better!

The-Pink-Panther* He who trims himself to suit everyone else will soon whittle himself away. ~ Raymond Hull

* Trust yourself and you will know how to live. ~ Goethe

* You don’t need a permission slip to live your life.

* Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

Related posts: Speak Your Truth Quietly & Clearly * Letting Ourselves Be Seen * Pretence Is It Needed? (Candid Impressions)

SILENCE! May 23, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , ,
37 comments

I enjoy silence.

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During the day, we don’t have the TV on or music playing.

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Instead, we listen to the whir of the ceiling fan, the ticking of the clock, the rustle of palm fronds, the quack of the duck, and . . .

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. . . the loud insistence of The Cat.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Mr. Turner Is A Real Oinker! May 16, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Humor.
Tags: , ,
34 comments

Although Mr. Turner got stellar reviews from film critics, BFF and I had to rely on subtitles to clarify the garbled, mumbled, marbles-in-the-mouth, muddy dialogue.

Not that all the utterances required translation.

Far from it.

We heard the many, many, many, many, many, many, many pig-like grunts and groans from the lead actor loud and clear.

Leaving us to conclude that Mr. Turner is a real oinker!

zebras

Aah . . . that’s better!

Mother’s Day Madness May 9, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People, Special Events.
Tags: , , , ,
49 comments

The-Pink-PantherFirst came March Madness.  Now it’s time for Mother’s Day Madness.

Every time I turn around some entity is telling me what to give mom for Mother’s Day ~ flowers, chocolates, wine, diamonds, candy, precious gems, silver, gold, etc..

And it’s not just for-profit businesses that want my mad money for Mother’s Day.  Non-profits want in on the action too.

And institutes of higher learning.

Pluto-RollerskatingThe Sierra Club suggested that mom might like a stuffed animal for Mother’s Day.

No, no, not a real animal stuffed by a taxidermist, a soft cuddly plush toy suitable for ages 1 – 100.

USC suggested that I get mom something in team colors so she can support the team every time she doesn’t watch a game.

Um . . . no.

But my favorite suggestion thus far.

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Hands down.

Tears rolling down my face as I laughed out loud at the audacity, the inanity, the sheer insanity of the suggestion.

Hotdog-On-A-Stick.

Yup.  That’s right.

If you don’t know what to get mom for Mother’s Day, consider getting her a Hotdog-On-A-Stick.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Talk About The Midnight Rambler May 7, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
46 comments

StreetlightWhen mom moved in with my younger brother and his family, my techie sibling set up motion detectors, infared lights, and alarms to monitor mom’s nocturnal wanderings and midnight rambles.

If she walks from bedroom to bathroom and back, it doesn’t break the beam and no alarm sounds.

If she walks outside the expected trajectory, an alarm goes off and my brother heads down to investigate.

One week, the alarm went off in my brother’s bedroom at 1 am, 3 am, and midnight on two different nights:

* The first time she said she was going marketing with my brother’s wife.
* The second time she said she was heading out for a walk.
* The last time she said she got up to make coffee for my other brother (who was sound asleep . . . 2000 miles away).

Scruffy-CatEach time, my brother managed to direct mom back to bed . . . with only minimal disruption to the household’s beauty sleep.

Aah . . . that’s better!

TIP: Parents of teens (prone to wandering in the wee hours) might also find this type of technology useful.

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