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Retirement Options April 11, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , , ,
63 comments

At the Arch

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where . . .

1. You park 3 blocks away from home because you found shade.
2. You experience condensation on your ass from hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
4. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

You can retire to New York City where . . .

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car).
3. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You can retire to the Nebraska where . . .

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
2. You have had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” on the same day.
3. The 4 seasons are:  planning, planting, growing, and shucking.

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You can retire to California where . . .

1. You make $450,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You drive everywhere, even to the neighborhood block party.
4. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
5. When asked how far away something is, you give the distance in minutes, not miles.

You can retire to The Deep South where . . .

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jim Bob, Joe Bob, Missy Sue.
5. Things are either: “in yonder,” “over yonder,” or “out yonder.”

You can retire to Minnesota where . . .

1. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
2. The highest level of criticism is: “He is different.”
3. The 4 seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.
4. You have 17 casserole recipes, but only 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

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You can retire to Florida where . . .

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind – even houses and cars.
3. The 4 seasons are: hurricane, love bug, snowbird, and summer.
4. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.
5. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, or podiatrist.

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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Aah . . . that’s better!

A Pelican, A Gator, and An Elephant April 7, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Spirit & Ego, Synchronicity & Mystery.
Tags: , , , , ,
44 comments

The pelican leaned back and relaxed as he spoke with his friends, flip-flops flapping in time with the Eternal Now.

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“When we reflect on our lives, and what we want, the goal behind most other goals is simply happiness.  We want to be happy. But, we have a tendency to look for happiness in all the wrong places.”

The gator nodded, her agreement impossible to miss given her prominent jaw.

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“We look for happiness outside of ourselves, instead of looking within.  We look for acceptance and approval from others, rather than accepting and approving of ourselves.  We get caught up in daily dramas and lose touch with the present moment.”

The elephant, resplendent in his attire as self-appointed court jester, laughed in agreement.

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“It’s Ego that gets in the way!  It pretends that its defending us from the unwarranted attacks of others while acting the part of the Trojan Horse.”

His stalwart companion neighed support, choosing to ignore the disparaging comparison between Ego and his distant kith and kin.

Seeing all eyes upon him, the pelican reclaimed the floor.  “Ego is a story-teller, spinning webs and stirring up conflict by encouraging us to look to others to define our selves and delineate our relevance.”

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Pelican reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper, worn at its creases.  He glanced over his bill at his companions before continuing.

“In Power, Freedom, and Grace: Living from the Source of Lasting Happiness, Deepak Chopra explained the distinction between Ego and Spirit in a way that really spoke to me.  Here’s the passage:

Behind the curtain of your intellect and emotions is your self-image or ego. The ego is not your real self; it is the image of yourself that you have slowly built over time. It is the mask behind which you hide, but it is not the real you. And because it is not the real you, but a fraud, it lives in fear. It wants approval. It needs to control.

The ego is the prison you have built around your-self, and now it holds you captive within its walls. 

And how do you break free from captivity? You break free by choosing to identify with your inner self, the real you.

You know you are free when you feel happy and at ease instead of fearful and anxious. You know you are free when you are independent of the good and bad opinions of others, when you have relinquished the need to seek approval, when you believe that you are good enough as you are.

You know you are free when you surrender to the moment, to the what is, and trust that the universe is on your side. You know you are free when you let go of resentments and grievances and choose to forgive.

As the pelican refolded the sheet of paper and stuffed it back into his pocket, a transvestite bullfrog (in full regalia) hopped over to join the conversation.

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“I overheard what you said about Ego.  I agree.  Now that I use an internal yardstick to measure my worth, I am happy.  I no longer get offended if THEY don’t approve of my lipstick.  I don’t feel the need to defend myself if THEY criticize my weight, my attire, or my life choices. What THEY think of me is none of my business.  I don’t need a signed permission slip from THEM to live MY life.”

With that, the bulging bullfrog (and his bulbous gilded lips) morphed into a Golden Egret.

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As the transformed frog lifted off the ground to soar on an unseen breeze, it tossed out a golden nugget for the pelican, gator, and elephant to digest:

The key to lasting happiness is to identify with the unchanging essence of your inner self, your source.  Then you no longer look for happiness because you know you already have it.

This happiness is true bliss, and it follows you wherever you go.*

Aah . . . that’s better!

* What is the key to lasting happiness?, Power, Freedom, and Grace: Living from the Source of Lasting Happiness

RX For Happiness April 4, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Life Lessons, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , ,
44 comments

Robert Louis Stevenson penned this prescription for happiness:

Tree-Frog-PerchedMake up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

Make the best of your circumstances.
No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life.

The trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Frog-CircusYou can’t please everybody.
Don’t let criticism worry you.

Don’t let your neighbor set your standards.
Do the things you enjoy doing, but stay out of debt.

Don’t borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than the actual ones.

Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges.

Tree-Frog-PerchedaDon’t hold post-mortems.  Don’t spend your life brooding over sorrows and mistakes.  Don’t be one who never gets over things.

Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.

Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.

Aah . . . that’s better!

And for an extra dose of Happy:

 

Meeting Life As It Is March 26, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Meditation, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
22 comments

nrhatch:

Here’s to allowing things to be “as they are” while we “go with the flow” and “embrace the now.”

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Aah . . . that’s better!

Originally posted on Find Your Middle Ground:

… Continuing the conversation about judging, evaluating and accepting life as it is. These words from Adyashanti moved me today. May they touch you also and bring a deeper connection with your inner being and life itself.

Clarity Image courtesy of wbhunt.com

“The greatest generator of conflict, both internal and external, is our addiction to interpreting and evaluating each and every moment of our experience.
When we continually judge and evaluate, we separate from what’s happening. We feel a certain distance from our experience, because now we have become the evaluator of the moment and we’re no longer in unity with the flow of existence and life.

As we begin to meet life as it is rather than as we think it should be, as we let go of our need to control and continuously interpret our experience, we start to open to life in a completely new way. We become deeply founded in silence.
The nature of this…

View original 55 more words

The Nature of Relationships March 24, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, Poetry.
Tags: , , ,
57 comments

Tiggers-R-UsRelationships are governed by societal and religious expectations and conditioning. As a result, human relationships vary from culture to culture.

Despite the global nature of the internet, we are not having a universal experience.

The norm in one corner of the globe does not translate across all borders and boundaries.

Tigger-PogoFor that reason, I don’t really care what people in general think.  I care about what the people I care about think.

It’s less confusing.

Instead of expending untold energy trying to figure out how to get inside someone else’s head, perhaps we should get to know who we are.

Look deep . . . the answers lie within.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Great minds may not think alike . . . but most great minds like a think.

Related posts:  What Makes You, You? * Torn AsunderThink Like A Man, End Up Without One (1) (Lively Twist)

Not My Monkey, Not My Circus! March 17, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
61 comments

monkeysSometimes the illusion of peace in relationships stems from allowing someone else to call ALL the shots while we bite our tongues.

Even then determined drama queens find ways to stir up the dust.

Over time, I’ve gotten better at shrugging off the weight of their disapproval, side-stepping unnecessary conflict, and ignoring de bait.

If necessary, I repeat the mantra:

Not my monkey, not my circus!

Aah . . . that’s better!

How are you at side-stepping determined drama queens?

Related post:  Taming The Mammoth ~ Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think (Wait But Why)

Goals: Life Preserver? Or Straight Jacket? March 11, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Life Lessons, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
60 comments

Pluto-RollerskatingSometimes life seems messy, disorganized, and chaotic.  We get busy tidying it up by setting self-improvement goals for ourselves.

That’s good, right?

To always be striving to be better than our previous selves?

We may believe that goals help us reach out and become more than we already are . . . but sometimes they do just the opposite.

Instead of encouraging us to explore possibilities in the here and now, they act as straight-jackets, tethering us to what we wanted yesterday.

Who you are now is a product of what you once wanted.

TiggerFor example, what if we set the goal to do more writing and then stumble across a bunch of overripe bananas sitting on the counter?

We want to make banana bread, but we don’t have time because we haven’t met our self-imposed arbitrary word count for the day.

So we let the bananas rot, instead of pursuing their possibilities.

No wonder the cat looks at us askance.

Do goals keep us afloat . . . or drag us down?

Perhaps it depends on the goal.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related link:  Helicone ~ Incredible Science

And The Oscar Goes To . . . Coral Reef! February 23, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Fun & Games, Happiness, Humor, Joke.
Tags: , , ,
36 comments

This video landed in my mailbox last week and made me laugh out loud.

If we are to believe Jackie Jordan . . . Coral Reef is a true Renaissance Color!

It’s vibrant, uplifting, buoyant, spirited, and joyful . . . with botanical notes . . . and a vintage spirit . . . “something we are truly craving today.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t need someone else telling me what color to paint my living room.

Aah . . . that’s better!

I Want To DO Less . . . And BE More February 17, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
Tags: , , , ,
57 comments

IMGP1800bOne of the best tricks I’ve found to discern whether I’m on the right path for me is to envision this as the last year of my life ~ to question whether I would regret spending the next 12 months engaged in similar endeavors.

At this point, I’m happy with the flow of my days and nights, but in earlier years this simple exercise inspired big changes:

In 1997, it led to my decision to leave the practice of law, take a sabbatical, and re-enter the work force as the director of a Crisis Intervention Team, assisting victims of domestic violence to evaluate options.

In 1999, it encouraged us to shed possessions, down-size, and move out of New Jersey to a home on the banks of the Chesapeake Bay ~ still close enough to visit family while being far enough away to live our own quiet lives.

In 2008, it freed us to leave winters behind for good and move to Florida.

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Aah . . . that’s better!

What would you do if your “final curtain call” lay around the next bend?

Virtual Reality: Fame & Fortune February 7, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Joke, People.
Tags: , , , ,
44 comments

I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I’m a billionaire. – Howard Hughes

Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. – Harrison Ford

Donald-DirectorHollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. – Steve Martin

I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. – Arthur C Clarke

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. – Johnny Carson

No man is a failure who is enjoying life. ~ William Feather

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

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