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My Long Term Care Plan October 24, 2022

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Less IS More, Life Balance, Sustainable Living.
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No nursing home for me.  I’ll be checking into a MARRIOTT!

With the average cost for nursing home care being min. $275.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and gray.

Check in to The FAIRFIELD:

For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $79.00 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours In the afternoon.  That leaves $196.00 or more a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer dryer, etc.  And most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.  Spread around $10 worth of tips a day and you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.    They’ll treat you like a customer, not a patient.

There’s a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.  The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).  To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.  While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere . . . to keep the cash from building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes.  Marriott will take your reservation . . . today!

And you’re not stuck in one place forever ~ you can move from Marriott to Marriott, or even from city to city.

Want to see Hawaii? They have COURTYARD there too.

TV broken?  Light bulbs need changing?  Need a mattress replaced?  No problem ~ they fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Marriott has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are OK.  If not, they’ll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker!

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Marriott will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.

And the grandkids can use the pool.

What more could you ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age,
I’ll face it with a grin.

Aah . . . that’s the ticket!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joan M.)