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Goats Have The Right Idea September 11, 2022

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
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I choked on a carrot this afternoon and as my life flashed before my eyes, I thought, “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”

***

I don’t want to adult anymore.  I don’t even want to human.  I want to goat.

No, not gloat . . . goat.

I want to eat all day and head butt anyone who annoys me.

***

Brain:  I can see you’re trying to sleep.

Can I offer you a selection of your worst memories from the last 20 years?

***

If you wait long enough to cook dinner, everyone will just eat cereal.

That’s the first thing we learned in Home Economics.

***

People will stop asking you stupid questions if you answer back in interpretive dance.

You can thank me later.

***

A giraffe’s coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat.  Every think about that?

***

My son asked if a punch bowl is where you keep the names of people you want to punch.

I told him, “I usually keep them in my head, but storing them in a decorative bowl seems really classy.”

IMGP3155b

***

My kids laugh because they think I’m crazy.  I laugh because it’s apt to be hereditary.

catlady

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joan M.)

Comments»

1. Ally Bean - September 11, 2022

Brilliant advice about waiting to make dinner and cereal will happen. I also like the idea of answering in interpretive dance, a subject I studied in college for one of my PE credits. I could do that.

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

I didn’t really learn that in Home Ec . . . but it should be on the curriculum!

On our weekly ZOOM call last night, our great nephew shared some interpretive dance with us. FUN!

2. Rivergirl - September 11, 2022

Ha! Great good morning laughs there. And now you’ve made me want to search for my punch bowl…
🤣

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

Yes! We have a gratitude basket, but a punch bowl might be just the thing at times. 😀

3. Kate Crimmins - September 11, 2022

I find if I dally around with dinner, pizza shows up! It’s like a bloody miracle!

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

Yay! for Pizza Miracles!

4. walkingoffthechessboard - September 11, 2022

The punch bowl has taken on a whole new meaning here after this post. I am glad I am not a giraffe, even though I drink cold brew, for I am sure it wouldn’t taste as good if it had THAT long to travel. The next time someone asks me a stupid question, I will definitely turn to dance as a response.🙂

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

I expect that the interpretive dance tip is a good one. Case in point:

We just got back from a visit to SAM (Sarasota Art Museum) ~ at SAM, 2 folks (dressed like Thing 1 and Thing 2 of Seuss Fame) started to perform a bizarre interpretive dance in juxtaposition with an art installation.

I quickly lost interest. 😀

walkingoffthechessboard - September 11, 2022

Yeah…you can just tell them next time that’s not your THING.🙂😂

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

Good one!

5. L. Marie - September 11, 2022

I love the goat advice. Though I don’t have to be a goat to headbutt people. 😁😁😁

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

You’re baa’d!

L. Marie - September 12, 2022

😅

6. joyroses13 - September 11, 2022

😂😂 Thanks for the laughs!

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

Laughter by day ~> Sweet Dreams at night!

joyroses13 - September 11, 2022

🥰

7. Sarah Davis - September 11, 2022

Much fun! There is a tradition of interpretative dance in my family.

nrhatch - September 11, 2022

Oh, you’re one step ahead of the game! 😀

8. Behind the Story - September 11, 2022

OMG! I loved these jokes. Talk about LOL. They’re all that funny. But the one about answering questions with an interpretive dance really cracked me up.

nrhatch - September 12, 2022

Yay! Glad you enjoyed them, Nicki. The e-mail I received from Joan had about 50 memes. I picked the ones that made me laugh, smile, or grin the most . . . hoping to spread the mirth!

Have a fun week! Let’s dance on . . . 😀

9. judithhb - September 14, 2022

Good one, Nancy!

nrhatch - September 14, 2022

Thanks, Judith. Glad you enjoyed!

10. Debra - September 14, 2022

Hilarious! I LOVE the idea of answering in interpretive dance. LOL! A great Saturday Night Live skit if someone can get that idea to the writers. 😜

nrhatch - September 15, 2022

Here’s to being just a little crazy! 😀


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