jump to navigation

Ghosts June 10, 2021

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
trackback

A casual acquaintance tried to interject herself into my life by telling me what to do.  When I tried to explain why I wasn’t going to follow her unsolicited (and unappreciated) advice, she continued to push the point.  I tried again to explain why her advice would not be heeded.  Nope.  She wasn’t having it.  

She told me I was being “hard headed.”

I suggested that we turn the topic to something else.  Nope.  She continued to push her agenda on me.  Why? I don’t know, but I suspect she thought that being pushy would somehow benefit her down the road.

If so, her plan backfired because I am no longer responding to her phone calls or her e-mails.

I am ghosting her!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Comments»

1. Kate Crimmins - June 10, 2021

Hard headed? And she wasn’t? 🙂

nrhatch - June 10, 2021

My thought exactly, Kate! I should have used the old playground retort:

I KNOW YOU ARE > > > BUT WHAT AM I?

2. Rivergirl - June 10, 2021

Some people just can’t take a hint.

nrhatch - June 10, 2021

People are obtuse at times. Sometimes, you just gotta shrug and ignore them! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. Val Boyko - June 10, 2021

Hhmmm … such a powerful insight into how we all get attached to our beliefs! Attachment to beliefs and being obtuse is always on both sides. One has to recognize and let go … without judgement… to bring relationships into balance.

nrhatch - June 10, 2021

In this case, I decided that “letting go” was the way to go.

nrhatch - June 11, 2021

If a casual acquaintance told you that you NEEDED to STOP doing yoga because it is BAD for you . . . and if that someone wasn’t listening while you patiently attempted to explain why you felt that yoga was, in fact, quite GOOD for you . . . and if that person insisted that YOU were being “hard headed” . . . and then continued to insist that they were a better judge of your reality than you were . . . and if you tried gently to change the subject to something else but they kept coming back to:

YOU NEED TO STOP DOING YOGA
THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU
YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR BECAUSE YOU’RE “OFF”
I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT
STOP DOING YOGA
STOP BEING HARD HEADED
PLEASE SUBSTITUTE MY JUDGMENT FOR YOURS
I’M ONLY BEING BOSSY FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
ETC.

Under this scenario (analogous to what I experienced with my bossy pants acquaintance), I would suggest that you “give up the ghost” ASAP. 😆

4. joyroses13 - June 10, 2021

Ugh! Sorry you had to deal with that, but sounds like you handled it in the right way. Don’t fight back with nasty words, just simply go silent.

nrhatch - June 10, 2021

If we had been close friends (or family) I would have handled it differently . . . by continuing to try to explain that when it comes to MY life, it’s MY choice. But she is so peripheral to my life that it seemed more expedient to just “drop it” (and her). 😀

joyroses13 - June 11, 2021

Understand! Sometimes its more healthy for us to just “drop it”. Have a great,day!

nrhatch - June 11, 2021

You too, JR. We’re about to head out for a beach walk . . . now that the delightful rain (yay!) has dissipated.

5. Behind the Story - June 10, 2021

The thing about beliefs is that we build them up as part of a complex structure in our heads that we’ve been constructing for years and years, maybe all our lives. Her ideas and beliefs and actions may fit perfectly inside the scaffold of that thought structure in her head but not be compatible at all with yours. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it’s one way to look at it.

I kinda like that phrase: ghosting.

nrhatch - June 10, 2021

Good thoughts, Nicki She was attempting to substitute her judgment for mine on a health issue that (quite frankly) had NOTHING to do with her. BFF and I are on the same page and didn’t feel that her input was based on the facts of the matter, just on her skewed perspective. As you point out, she was basing her position on beliefs, rather than on reality.

I’ve never ghosted anyone before, generally preferring to “talk things out” in an effort to reach consensus. But since she wasn’t listening to me (and the situation didn’t really require her input), I decided to stop talking and let her drift away. Bye Bye!

6. Debra - June 10, 2021

Most very strongly opinionated people who want to push their ideas are at least a little more subtle. I think you’re wise to just close that door, particularly when there was likely a “part 2” you didn’t yet hear. I wonder if your lack of response will cause her to rethink her tactics?

nrhatch - June 11, 2021

It might. The funny thing is, she had just “fired” her cleaning lady for being “bossy.” 😆

7. Sarah Davis - June 11, 2021

This absolutely sounds like justifiable ghosting.

nrhatch - June 11, 2021

My instinct is to keep the lines of communication open . . . but there is an exception to every rule. Seeing her ignore the facts helped me decide to ignore her.

I considered relenting but decided there was nothing to gain by continuing our acquaintance; our paths are unlikely to cross in the future (causing awkward pauses). Have a great weekend, Sarah.

Sarah Davis - June 11, 2021

Good call. Sometimes our “nice” conditioning has one ignoring inner guidance and keeps the wrong people around far to long. Have a great weekend.

nrhatch - June 11, 2021

That’s it, Sarah. This person’s “season” in my life had passed but I hadn’t stepped back far enough to see it. The pandemic provided the necessary space and distance to allow me to let go of something that was no longer working.

8. L. Marie - June 12, 2021

I don’t blame you for ghosting her. So aggravating!

nrhatch - June 12, 2021

I found it slightly annoying and very amusing . . . especially since she doesn’t enjoy being bossed around. 😆

Nonetheless, I felt she overstepped her bounds and we needed a break which (I suspect) will be permanent.

9. Kellie - June 13, 2021

Yes to this! Silence is definitely an option 👌

nrhatch - June 13, 2021

Silence is an underutilized tool . . . definitely worth keeping in our tool belt.


What Say YOU?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: