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Dr. Fauci’s House Call December 25, 2020

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Poetry.
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By Kevin A. Wilson (with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

‘Twas some days before Christmas—how many I’m not sure
(The days ran together; everything was a blur).
All the houses were locked down from COVID-19,
With everyone wishing for the promised vaccine.

The children were nestled and sleeping just fine.
They were all tuckered out from their classes online.
And mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap
Had just sanitized our hands and hung up our masks

The year had been hard. We were due a vacation
But the thing wanted most? Emergency use authorization
Then out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I assumed it was another 2020 disaster.

I ran to the window and put on my mask,
But what would I see? I was too scared to ask.
The neighbors were quiet and socially distant,
Awaiting the time they’d be COVID resistant.

But despite travel bans, there then did appear
A miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
But this wasn’t Santa. His gut wasn’t paunchy.
It was the trusted presence of Anthony Fauci.

More rapid than eagles, at warp speed they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now Pfizer! Now Sanofi! Now Johnson & Johnson!
“On Moderna! On BioNTech! On Adaptive and Amgen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now vaccinate, vaccinate, vaccinate all!”

As a virus expelled by a cough or a sneeze
When it meets plexiglass rises up on the breeze;
So up to the house-top the pharma all flew,
With the sleigh full of hope, and Dr. Fauci, too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Fauci came with a bound.

He was dressed in a suit, as was always his way,
And his neatly cut hair was a smart silver-grey.
A chart in one hand, a syringe in the other,
And a medical bag—a gift from his mother.

The wisdom in his eyes and the knowledge in his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
With his reassuring smile covered up with a mask,
His no-nonsense style led him straight to the task.

He sprung to my side as I rolled up my sleeve,
And he stuck in the vaccine as quick as you please.
He flew to the bedroom, gave mamma a shot,
Then vaxxed both our kids without waking them up.

Inoculations complete, he returned to the chimney,
And gave me a pamphlet about what he put in me.
Then raising his finger but not touching his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

“C’mon, team!” he said. “We’ve a great opportunity.
If we vaccinate more we can reach herd immunity!”
Then he yelled back to me, as the sleigh quickly rose,
“I’ll be back in a fortnight for the follow-up dose.”

Aah . . . that’s the ticket!

Comments»

1. Kate Crimmins - December 25, 2020

Very clever!

nrhatch - December 25, 2020

A neighbor sent it yesterday. Some fun images.

2. nrhatch - December 25, 2020

The first two lines say it all for me ~ this year is a bit blurry. I feel like the vortex of time is warped:

How is it Christmas already?
And why is 2020 still here?

3. Val Boyko - December 25, 2020

Happy Blurday Nancy 🎄💝🎄

nrhatch - December 25, 2020

Thanks!
Perfect Tidings to you too, Val!

4. mybeautfulthings - December 25, 2020

That’s a very clever pastiche and a very welcome dream! Happy Christmas to you and yours Nancy. 🙂

nrhatch - December 25, 2020

Covid Immunity = what we’d all like to find in our stockings or under the tree. 😀

Hope your Christmas is warm, wonderful, and delicious, Sally.

mybeautfulthings - December 26, 2020

Thank you, it was all of those with the wood burner on the go and a Crispy Roast Duck , a better choice for just two of us and especially delicious! I hope your Christmas scored well on all three counts too. 🙂

nrhatch - December 27, 2020

We had some yummy treats. I enjoyed seeing your wood burner “in action” on one of your blog posts this week.

5. Behind the Story - December 26, 2020

Brilliant!! I love it! Everything is better when it rhymes.

Merry Christmas, Nancy.

nrhatch - December 27, 2020

Thanks, Nicki Hope you had a very merry celebration too.

6. L. Marie - December 27, 2020

What Nicki said! Brilliant!

nrhatch - December 27, 2020

Yay! Glad you enjoyed. I have a friend in the ‘hood who sends me some good views of the news.

7. Joan E Wilder - December 27, 2020

Love it!! Brilliant!

nrhatch - January 3, 2021

I’m glad that Dr. Fauci has a poem to commemorate his constant presence in our lives during this pandemic. On Fauci!

8. Erica/Erika - January 2, 2021

Thank you for sharing a very cute poem, Nancy.🙂 Did I read somewhere how Dr. Fauci is nominated as ‘Person of the Year?’

nrhatch - January 3, 2021

TIME considered him but the Biden/Harris ticket got top billing as “Person(s) of the Year.” I guess Dr. Fauci got an honorable mention for his nomination.

But maybe some other media organization will nominate him for the WIN. Probably not People’s “Sexiest Man of the Year.” 😆


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