jump to navigation

A Bit Of Covid Humor July 5, 2020

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Poetry.
trackback

COVID IS RAGING . . . MY LIFE IS A MESS
I LIVE IN PAJAMAS AND DON’T HAVE TO DRESS

I’M IN ISOLATION, JUST STAYING AT HOME
AND WOULD GIVE MY LAST DOLLAR TO BE FREE TO ROAM

I’M SERIOUSLY AT RISK (OR THAT’S WHAT THEY SAY)
TELLING ME TO STAY IN AND NOT GO OUT EACH DAY

IN MY HEAD I’M SO YOUNG THOUGH MY LICENSE REVEALS
I’M A 70-PLUS SENIOR (BUT THAT’S NOT HOW IT FEELS!)

WHEN I RUN OUT OF FOOD AND DELIVERIES ARE LATE
I HAVE TO BUY GROCERIES BETWEEN 7 AND 8

SO EARLY MORNING I HEAD OUT TO RESTOCK
AND DISCOVER A LINE WINDING ‘ROUND THE BLOCK

SOCIAL DISTANCING SENIORS ALL 6 FEET APART
MAKE ME WONDER WHEN I BECAME AN OLD FART

MY LATEST NEW OUTFIT IS GLOVES AND A MASK
AND I’M STARTING TO WONDER IF I’M UP TO THIS TASK

I WASH ALL MY GROCERIES ALL FRUIT, MEAT AND VEG
WILL THIS ADDITIONAL PRECAUTION TIP ME OVER THE EDGE?

MY BEAUTIFUL BROWN HAIR HAS WIDE ROOTS OF GREY
NO HAIRDRESSERS AROUND TO HELP WASH THEM AWAY

I’VE BEEN TALKING TO MYSELF & ANSWERING BACK
IS IT MONDAY OR FRIDAY? I’VE REALLY LOST TRACK

I’VE STOPPED KEEPING HOUSE
IT’S WEEKS SINCE I’VE DUSTED
AND I KNOW WITHOUT VISITORS
I’LL NEVER GET BUSTED

I FACETIME FRIENDS OR GROUP CHAT ON ZOOM
AND TRY TO PRETEND WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME ROOM

THANK GOD LIQUOR STORES ARE CONSIDERED ‘ESSENTIAL’
WITHOUT DAILY DRINKS THIS WOULD DRIVE US ALL MENTAL

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE IT IS GOOD TO REFLECT
ON WHAT THIS ALL MEANS AND WHAT WE CAN EXPECT

IT’S A TIME TO BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THAT WE’VE GOT
LIKE A WARM HOUSE AND FOOD THAT OTHERS HAVE NOT

THE BOTTOM LINE HERE
BY THE TIME THIS ALL ENDS
IS THAT WE’LL GET THROUGH IT
WITH OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joan M.)

Comments»

1. Kate Crimmins - July 5, 2020

It’s sure a different life than a year ago!

nrhatch - July 5, 2020

It sure is. It’s been quite an adjustment!

2. Erica/Erika - July 5, 2020

Very, very funny, Nancy! I almost lost it on “became an old fart.” I can relate to all, especially the gratitude. Thank you for sharing, especially the smile.🙂

nrhatch - July 5, 2020

My favorite stanza is:

THANK GOD LIQUOR STORES ARE CONSIDERED ‘ESSENTIAL’
WITHOUT DAILY DRINKS THIS WOULD DRIVE US ALL MENTAL

That said, whole weeks have gone by without me having to resort to the bottle. :mrgreen:

Erica/Erika - July 6, 2020

I could say the same thing, Nancy, although we resorted to ‘boxes’ unsure how long we would be hunkering down 😅

nrhatch - July 6, 2020

Haha!

3. Jill Weatherholt - July 5, 2020

Brilliant!

nrhatch - July 5, 2020

I thought it was so clever when Joan sent it to me, but it languished in my e-mails for a couple of weeks before I got around to “illustrating” it today. Ha!

Pandemics are perfect for procrastinators! 😯

4. Behind the Story - July 5, 2020

Your poems are amazing and fun. I love the ending. We all have our particular problems and our reasons to be grateful.

nrhatch - July 5, 2020

Thanks, Nicki. This one’s not mine, but it gave me a giggle and a grin so I thought I’d share it.

And, yes! There is still much to be grateful about . . . even in the midst of a pandemic.

5. Rivergirl - July 6, 2020

Well said!

nrhatch - July 6, 2020

And so much easier than writing my own “ovid” to Covid. 😛

6. Kellie - July 6, 2020

Ha ha, thanks for the entertainment 😊

nrhatch - July 6, 2020

Glad you enjoyed!

7. anotherday2paradise - July 6, 2020

My sister and I were chatting today and we both agreed about the dusting. 😅 I do have to dust my grand piano which is shiny black and she has to dust her dining table which is dark mahogany. 🤣

nrhatch - July 6, 2020

Ha! How did your recital go yesterday? Or was there a rain delay?

8. joyroses13 - July 6, 2020

Great poem!!

nrhatch - July 6, 2020

Glad you enjoyed, JR.

joyroses13 - July 6, 2020

🙂

9. Ally Bean - July 8, 2020

This is great. I love it.

I especially like: WHEN I RUN OUT OF FOOD AND DELIVERIES ARE LATE | I HAVE TO BUY GROCERIES BETWEEN 7 AND 8. That’s the part of this whole Covid-19 mess that gets to me the most. No more free spirit when it comes to grocerying…

nrhatch - July 8, 2020

Glad you enjoyed, Ally.

Quest Labs has special hours for seniors over 60 and those with underlying conditions. Those hours are too early for me so I said I was not “eligible” to come for lab work at o-dark-30. I scheduled my appointment for 9:15. So much more civilized.

10. L. Marie - July 8, 2020

Well done! With all the free time COVID has provided, I expect more works of art like that poem. 😁

nrhatch - July 8, 2020

Hi LM! How about an ode to maintaining an upbeat mindset in the middle of a mandatory move mid-Pandemic?

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!

11. roughwighting - July 9, 2020

Clever. Funny. SO TRUE. I enjoyed every line. xo

nrhatch - July 11, 2020

Here’s hoping our funny bone chakras remain fully operational during this pandemic, Pam.

12. Val Boyko - July 17, 2020

Love this!!! Hope life is a little lighter and easier with you.

nrhatch - July 17, 2020

Thanks, Val. You too!

13. Halbarbera - July 27, 2020

Neat Art and Such:

Down the Rabbit Hole never to be free and truly alive like before. Just social distancing…

nrhatch - July 27, 2020

Life sure has changed . . . and unlike the White Rabbit we have nowhere to go, fast or slow. 😀


What Say YOU?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: