A Bit Of Covid Humor July 5, 2020
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Poetry.trackback
COVID IS RAGING . . . MY LIFE IS A MESS
I LIVE IN PAJAMAS AND DON’T HAVE TO DRESS
I’M IN ISOLATION, JUST STAYING AT HOME
AND WOULD GIVE MY LAST DOLLAR TO BE FREE TO ROAM
I’M SERIOUSLY AT RISK (OR THAT’S WHAT THEY SAY)
TELLING ME TO STAY IN AND NOT GO OUT EACH DAY
IN MY HEAD I’M SO YOUNG THOUGH MY LICENSE REVEALS
I’M A 70-PLUS SENIOR (BUT THAT’S NOT HOW IT FEELS!)
WHEN I RUN OUT OF FOOD AND DELIVERIES ARE LATE
I HAVE TO BUY GROCERIES BETWEEN 7 AND 8
SO EARLY MORNING I HEAD OUT TO RESTOCK
AND DISCOVER A LINE WINDING ‘ROUND THE BLOCK
SOCIAL DISTANCING SENIORS ALL 6 FEET APART
MAKE ME WONDER WHEN I BECAME AN OLD FART
MY LATEST NEW OUTFIT IS GLOVES AND A MASK
AND I’M STARTING TO WONDER IF I’M UP TO THIS TASK
I WASH ALL MY GROCERIES ALL FRUIT, MEAT AND VEG
WILL THIS ADDITIONAL PRECAUTION TIP ME OVER THE EDGE?
MY BEAUTIFUL BROWN HAIR HAS WIDE ROOTS OF GREY
NO HAIRDRESSERS AROUND TO HELP WASH THEM AWAY
I’VE BEEN TALKING TO MYSELF & ANSWERING BACK
IS IT MONDAY OR FRIDAY? I’VE REALLY LOST TRACK
I’VE STOPPED KEEPING HOUSE
IT’S WEEKS SINCE I’VE DUSTED
AND I KNOW WITHOUT VISITORS
I’LL NEVER GET BUSTED
I FACETIME FRIENDS OR GROUP CHAT ON ZOOM
AND TRY TO PRETEND WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME ROOM
THANK GOD LIQUOR STORES ARE CONSIDERED ‘ESSENTIAL’
WITHOUT DAILY DRINKS THIS WOULD DRIVE US ALL MENTAL
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE IT IS GOOD TO REFLECT
ON WHAT THIS ALL MEANS AND WHAT WE CAN EXPECT
IT’S A TIME TO BE GRATEFUL FOR ALL THAT WE’VE GOT
LIKE A WARM HOUSE AND FOOD THAT OTHERS HAVE NOT
THE BOTTOM LINE HERE
BY THE TIME THIS ALL ENDS
IS THAT WE’LL GET THROUGH IT
WITH OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Aah . . . that’s better!
Source: E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joan M.)
It’s sure a different life than a year ago!
It sure is. It’s been quite an adjustment!
Very, very funny, Nancy! I almost lost it on “became an old fart.” I can relate to all, especially the gratitude. Thank you for sharing, especially the smile.🙂
My favorite stanza is:
THANK GOD LIQUOR STORES ARE CONSIDERED ‘ESSENTIAL’
WITHOUT DAILY DRINKS THIS WOULD DRIVE US ALL MENTAL
That said, whole weeks have gone by without me having to resort to the bottle.
I could say the same thing, Nancy, although we resorted to ‘boxes’ unsure how long we would be hunkering down 😅
Haha!
Brilliant!
I thought it was so clever when Joan sent it to me, but it languished in my e-mails for a couple of weeks before I got around to “illustrating” it today. Ha!
Pandemics are perfect for procrastinators! 😯
Your poems are amazing and fun. I love the ending. We all have our particular problems and our reasons to be grateful.
Thanks, Nicki. This one’s not mine, but it gave me a giggle and a grin so I thought I’d share it.
And, yes! There is still much to be grateful about . . . even in the midst of a pandemic.
Well said!
And so much easier than writing my own “ovid” to Covid. 😛
Ha ha, thanks for the entertainment 😊
Glad you enjoyed!
My sister and I were chatting today and we both agreed about the dusting. 😅 I do have to dust my grand piano which is shiny black and she has to dust her dining table which is dark mahogany. 🤣
Ha! How did your recital go yesterday? Or was there a rain delay?
Great poem!!
Glad you enjoyed, JR.
🙂
This is great. I love it.
I especially like: WHEN I RUN OUT OF FOOD AND DELIVERIES ARE LATE | I HAVE TO BUY GROCERIES BETWEEN 7 AND 8. That’s the part of this whole Covid-19 mess that gets to me the most. No more free spirit when it comes to grocerying…
Glad you enjoyed, Ally.
Quest Labs has special hours for seniors over 60 and those with underlying conditions. Those hours are too early for me so I said I was not “eligible” to come for lab work at o-dark-30. I scheduled my appointment for 9:15. So much more civilized.
Well done! With all the free time COVID has provided, I expect more works of art like that poem. 😁
Hi LM! How about an ode to maintaining an upbeat mindset in the middle of a mandatory move mid-Pandemic?
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Clever. Funny. SO TRUE. I enjoyed every line. xo
Here’s hoping our funny bone chakras remain fully operational during this pandemic, Pam.
Love this!!! Hope life is a little lighter and easier with you.
Thanks, Val. You too!
Neat Art and Such:
Down the Rabbit Hole never to be free and truly alive like before. Just social distancing…
Life sure has changed . . . and unlike the White Rabbit we have nowhere to go, fast or slow. 😀
And here we are still! Thank you for this which I somehow missed in July. All so true! 🙂
Thanks for reminding me of this post, Sally. Here’s hoping we get “through it” without losing our sense of humor.
Please may I put the piece on my blog soon? It is still most apt. xx
It’s fine by me, Sally. I got it in an e-mail, written by an unknown author who would probably be delighted to have it make the transoceanic journey!
Thank you very much. xx
You’re welcome.