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Life Explained September 28, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.

The dog said:  That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?

God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.

The monkey said: Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.

The cow said: That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:  Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.

Man replied: Hmm . . . only twenty years?  Could you give me my twenty, plus the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back? 

Okay, said God, you asked for it ~ 80 years it is.

That’s why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I’m doing it as a public service.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Inspiration:  e-mail from an unknown author


1. Val Boyko - September 28, 2019

This is a good one Nancy! Thanks for the smile 😁

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren . . . and blog visitors. 😀

Val Boyko - September 28, 2019

… and yoga students 😉

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

. . . and Bridge partners. :mrgreen:

2. Jill Weatherholt - September 28, 2019

I loved this, Nancy! Thanks for sharing. Enjoy your weekend!

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

You too, Jill. We’re off for a beach walk.

3. Tippy Gnu - September 28, 2019

And who says we’re the smartest?

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

Not me! My vote goes to the goat. 😀

4. Kate Crimmins - September 28, 2019

Kind of true, isn’t it?

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

I see definite parallels . . . but, like Ms. Bean, I’m going to stick with monkeying around as long as possible.

5. Ally Bean - September 28, 2019

Odd, but kind of true. I guess. Hoping my life plays out a little differently. Less barking, more monkeying around.

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

That’s the nice thing about being here, now ~> freedom of choice!

Ally Bean - September 28, 2019

Exactly! Happy Weekend, Nancy [a choice, eh?]

6. Rivergirl - September 28, 2019

Ha! Makes perfect sense now…

nrhatch - September 28, 2019


7. dorannrule - September 28, 2019

There is a strange ring of truth here!

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

And there ya have it!

8. joyroses13 - September 28, 2019

Too funny! Love the smiles you bring. 😉

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

Thanks, Carolyn.
Sharing a smile doesn’t cost anything, does it?

joyroses13 - September 29, 2019

Nope! The best things are free! 🙂

nrhatch - September 29, 2019

Simple treasures = Life’s pleasures

9. Endless Weekend - September 28, 2019

Lol. PSA appreciated 🙂 Goes well with Pratchett’s “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.” 🙂

nrhatch - September 28, 2019

To life . . . lived best on a moment by moment basis!

10. Debra - September 29, 2019

It makes total sense to me! It explains a lot! 🙂

nrhatch - September 29, 2019

So for now . . .
We monkey around!

11. L. Marie - September 29, 2019

You’re so service minded! Thanks for looking out for us. 😃 😄

nrhatch - September 29, 2019

My pleasure, L Marie.
Hope your Sunday is wreathed in S~M~I~L~E~S!

12. anotherday2paradise - September 30, 2019

Love this, Nancy. So funny but so true. 😅😳

nrhatch - September 30, 2019

Hey, Hey we’re the Monkeys!

13. pennywise12902 - October 3, 2019


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