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Take This Job . . . And Shovel It! July 16, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor, People.
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At my annual health and wellness exam, I asked my primary care physician about InSure ONE vs. Cologuard vs. a full blown Colonoscopy.

He did not recommend the InSure ONE test since it only screens for blood cells and not all polyps bleed.

And if they bleed, they don’t bleed all of the time.  They just bleed some of the time.

As a result, with InSure ONE, you will get a false negative some of the time. Which isn’t all that reassuring.

He did recommend giving Cologuard a go.  Pun intended.

Since Cologuard looks at the underlying DNA of the collected cells, you seldom get a false negative. If the results come back negative, you’re good to go for another year or so.  Which is reassuring.

There’s no need to do all the messy prep work involved with having a colonoscopy UNLESS you get a positive result.

Anyway, all of the above got me thinking about what must be one of the least desirable jobs in the medical industry ~> opening up boxes of Cologuard at the lab every morning.

Oh, Poo!

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1. Kate Crimmins - July 16, 2019

Some friends of mind just had Cologuard done and I thought about the postal people handling the samples (I’m sure it was properly protected) and the mail folks opening it at the lab. Hope they get combat pay!

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Our neighbor (a doctor who is gone for the summer) received a package on his doorstep. We retrieved it. When I left him know it was a Cologuard kit, he told me to toss it since he hadn’t requested it.

Curious, I opened it up. The box is fully lined with a plastic ziplock bag to encase the plastic collection tub. As long as people pack things up AFTER washing their hands . . . the mail carriers have nothing to worry about.

But the lab techs who unzip the ziplock, lift out the collection tub, and lift the lid ~> Oh, Poo!

Kate Crimmins - July 16, 2019

You would have to pay me a lot of money!

philosophermouseofthehedge - July 16, 2019

If you are slow in returning box, that company will contact you and offer you $250.00 to do it. Hmmm, have to wonder just how much are the company is charging medicare/insurance plans for their services?…for something that gives so many false/undetermined results
(And they are really bad about sending boxes out without authorization – and to the wrong addresses.)

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

I can earn $250 by requesting the kit . . .
And then procrastinating?

Good to know, PMOTH!
Since I am an EXCELLENT procrastinator.

Case in point: I should have written this post at least 5 years ago but I’ve been too busy procrastinating.

Tippy Gnu - July 16, 2019

Having once been a letter carrier, I can assure you that I never liked handling those things. How could I be sure the person who mailed it washed their hands thoroughly first? And I had no way to wash my hands, being out on the route all day. Which should serve as a warning to everyone–always wash your own hands after getting your mail from your letter carrier.

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

I thought Cologuard was brand new. I had no idea that postal carriers have been carrying poo around for years:

The Food and Drug Administration approved Exact Sciences’ Cologuard on August 11, 2014 ~ the approval made Cologuard the first and only FDA-approved stool DNA screening test for colorectal cancer.

I shall take your advice and WASH MY HANDS every time I get mail.

Tippy Gnu - July 16, 2019

I guess it wasn’t Cologuard, then. But it was some sort of stool sample stuff, going to the lab, that patients would mail in. And I had a lab on my route, so I had to handle this stuff on nearly a daily basis. I tried to be delicate, and hold it only be the edges, but I’m not sure that helped much.

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Maybe that was screening for something other than colorectal cancer.

Maybe it was screening for intestinal parasites? 😛

Tippy Gnu - July 16, 2019

Egads. I hope I didn’t catch any of those little bugs.

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Fortunately for most of us, those type of parasites are killed off by the toxic sludge we drink in the morning ~> COFFEE!

Tippy Gnu - July 16, 2019

Yeah, yeah. Although, isn’t there a coffee bean worm?

joyroses13 - July 16, 2019

LOL!! 🤣 Good one Nancy!

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Oh, wait! Maybe you were carrying stool screening samples that were NOT approved by the FDA because of insufficient packaging and suspected leaks.

Double doodies!

Tippy Gnu - July 16, 2019

If you’re trying to get me to feel nervous, well, hmm, it may be working.

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

OK. I’ll stop now.
Let’s hope I was describing scenarios that never materialized.

2. Ally Bean - July 16, 2019

You’re a kind person to worry about those lab techs. What a job, to be sure.

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

I’m squeamish about bodily “fluids” and would have made a terrible nurse or lab tech . . . especially working with #2. 😛

3. Joanne Sisco - July 16, 2019

Some people aren’t exaggerating when they say their job is shit.

At any kind of special outdoor event you can see dozens and dozens of port-a-potties. I think of the people tasked with cleaning them 😳

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Another job on the “But I don’t wanna” list!

Joanne Sisco - July 16, 2019

I hope they are well paid!

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Some of the worst jobs involve the lowest pay. And then there are those who get richer by the day . . . while their underlings do the heavy lifting. Not very equitable.

4. joyroses13 - July 16, 2019

There definitely are jobs out there that I wouldn’t want!! This one ranks up there!

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Count. Me. Out. Too.
I don’t want to deal with Poo!

5. Rivergirl - July 16, 2019

No. Nope. Uh uh. Not for me.
Ick!!

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

I hear ya, RG!
Not me, aussi.

6. Jill Weatherholt - July 16, 2019

As someone who has a colonoscopy every year, I can relate to this. 🙂 I feel sorry for the people who vacuum the Porta-John’s…on a steamy August day in the south…yuck!

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

You should work that description into one of your novels, Jill. It creates a terrific visual image that will stay with your readers! 😆

Jill Weatherholt - July 16, 2019

LOL! 🙂

nrhatch - July 16, 2019

Here’s to childish humor ~> great for reminding us not to take things too seriously. It’s only life after all. 😀

7. Behind the Story - July 18, 2019

So many lousy jobs. I did Cologuard last year. Didn’t think about the poor person who had to open the box.

nrhatch - July 18, 2019

You probably had better things to think about, Nicki. 😉

8. L. Marie - July 19, 2019

Oh man. Such an awful job. Still, I’m glad someone is doing it.

nrhatch - July 20, 2019

Humans beings are resilient and flexible (except when “we” are being fragile and rigid and, um, . . . squeamish). 😀

Here’s to all the beings that keep things going.


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