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Excitement At Our Local Publix! July 30, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, People.
41 comments

Yesterday, BFF and I headed to Publix (“where shopping is a pleasure”) to get groceries.

On arrival, we noted throngs of people milling about the perimeter of the parking lot.  The parking lot proper had been cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape.  Ambulances, Police Cars, and Fire Trucks populated the almost empty lot as officials scurried about with walkie-talkies.

“Hey, BFF.  It looks like there’s been a bomb threat.”

“You think?”

“I do.  Why else would they cordon off the entire parking lot?”

As BFF continued to drive toward the scene, we saw a van emblazoned with “Bomb Squad” on the side, confirming our suspicions.

At the perimeter of the scene, we asked a police officer for a quick recounting.

All he would say is that a “suspicious package” had been found near the entrance to Publix and that they had evacuated all the stores in the shopping center.  He thought the stores would be reopening “soon.”

We decided not to stick around.  Instead, we headed to the Island Publix to stock up on essentials.

This morning as we were walking up to the pool, BFF saw this headline in the Bradenton Herald paper sitting in our neighbor’s driveway:

Suspicious Package outside Bradenton Publix turns out to be a Water Bottle

Curiosity satisfied, we continued to the pool where we found an empty water bottle leaning up against the pool shed.

We did NOT call the bomb squad since the empty bottle was not adorned with wires or otherwise connected to an incendiary device.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Ticks . . . ICK! July 25, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Nature.
28 comments

As if we needed yet another reason to hate those blood-sucking critters:

Maine Confirmed Its First Case of a Rare Tick-Borne Virus in Years. Here’s What to Know About Powassan

The article’s advice ~> Steer clear of deer ticks.

Aah . . . that’s basic!

An Offer To Good To Refuse July 18, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Humor, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
17 comments

Tippy Gnu has fallen off his rocker.  Not a big surprise, I know.  We knew it was going to happen.  I mean, c’mon, he doesn’t even drink coffee.  What kind of red-blooded American writer doesn’t drink coffee?

Except, you know, when they are drinking alcohol.

But Tippy is not a tippler either.

No coffee.  No alcohol.  Nothing to blur the edges of reality.  So we knew it was just a matter of time before he toppled.

Now that he has, his topple is your Piglipple:

That’s right!  He’s giving away his Pumping up Piglipple book for FREE.

Go grab yours:  FREE BOOKS

Just remember to hold it by the edges and wash your hands thoroughly after you’re done.

Aah . . . that’s one Unique Unicorn!

Take This Job . . . And Shovel It! July 16, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor, People.
34 comments

At my annual health and wellness exam, I asked my primary care physician about InSure ONE vs. Cologuard vs. a full blown Colonoscopy.

He did not recommend the InSure ONE test since it only screens for blood cells and not all polyps bleed.

And if they bleed, they don’t bleed all of the time.  They just bleed some of the time.

As a result, with InSure ONE, you will get a false negative some of the time. Which isn’t all that reassuring.

He did recommend giving Cologuard a go.  Pun intended.

Since Cologuard looks at the underlying DNA of the collected cells, you seldom get a false negative. If the results come back negative, you’re good to go for another year or so.  Which is reassuring.

There’s no need to do all the messy prep work involved with having a colonoscopy UNLESS you get a positive result.

Anyway, all of the above got me thinking about what must be one of the least desirable jobs in the medical industry ~> opening up boxes of Cologuard at the lab every morning.

Oh, Poo!

Get Out!!! July 12, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Home & Garden, Humor, Nature.
27 comments

Check this out:

Aah . . . that’s more bearable!

For Your Next Murder Mystery . . . July 7, 2019

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Nature, Word Play, Writing & Writers.
34 comments

I don’t know about you, but I appreciate it when Agatha Christie wannabes write outside the box.

Instead of relying on mundane methods of murder to kill off “the surplus population,” creative writers explore alternative murder weapons.

If you are looking for a bit of inspiration for your next murder mystery, Britannica.com has got you covered:

7 of the World’s Deadliest Plants

Step away from that knife.  Put down that gun.  And wander out to the garden.

Aah . . . that’s better!