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A Bit of This & That October 23, 2018

Posted by nrhatch in Life Balance, Mindfulness, People, Travel & Leisure.

For a terrific article on Friendship:

Friends are honest with each other: Friends will always tell you what you need to hear, not what you want them to say. There are plenty of people in the world who will flatter you for their own purposes, but only a real friend — or an enemy — will risk your anger by telling you the truth. And being a good person yourself, you should listen to your friends and welcome what they have to say.

How to be a Good Friend, According to Cicero (an Ancient Philosopher) (Time)

For an interesting article on Master Manipulators:

“People who are trying to manipulate others are trying to control others.”

There are many different forms of manipulation, ranging from a pushy salesperson to an emotionally abusive partner—and some behaviors are easier to spot than others.

Here, experts explain the telltale signs that you could be the subject of manipulation.

How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You—And What to Do About It (Time)

For a Bunch of Hot Air, here’s a video posted by my little bro after his recent trip to the Balloon Festival in Albuquerque, NM:

Aah . . . that’s better!


1. Ruth - October 23, 2018

Oh my, that balloon festival looks wonderful!

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

Doesn’t it? We went to a Balloon Festival in NC once, but it paled in comparison to the scope of this one.

Up, Up, and Away!

Ruth - October 23, 2018

In my beautiful, my beautiful ballooooooon

nrhatch - October 24, 2018

Enjoy the view!
As Dorothy noted ~> “We’re not in Kansas anymore!”

2. joyroses13 - October 23, 2018

That part about having friends who will tell you what you don’t want to hear is so true! I value my friends who tell it like it is!
Love the balloon festival! So cool!! Yay for Smokey the Bear and Pooh Bear and they had an Owl too! Odessa is happy! 🙂 So many nice ones! Have you ever taken a ride in one?

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

BFF & I rode in a Hot Air Balloon over Palm Springs California in 1986 (or thereabouts). What surprised me the most was the HEAT and NOISE from the gas blower used to keep the balloon filled with hot air and aloft!

Also, Palm Springs was BROWN and SCRUBBY looking (except when we flew over the golf courses). 😯

joyroses13 - October 23, 2018

So I guess it’s not exactly a quiet, peaceful ride. 🙂
LOL about the golf course being the only green place!

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

Not as quiet and peaceful as a glider . . . that’s for sure! But it’s still a pleasant thing to do.

P.S. Another surprise: The basket usually/often/always tips over on landing. 😯

3. Tippy Gnu - October 23, 2018

That seems very true how some people try to manipulate, and how sometimes it’s hard to detect, at least at first. In my view, about 90% of the tension and fighting between people occurs because one of them is trying to control the other. When people can let go and let each other be free, relationships tend to improve and become enjoyable.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

Once you acknowledge that manipulation exists, you start to detect it more readily:

Some people use compliments to get their way ~> “Hey, TG! Have I told you today that you’re my favorite? . . . Oh, BTW, I need help moving Saturday. Are you available?”

Others use guilt-trips ~> “Never mind, TG. I’ll do it myself. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you . . .”

And some use bribery (instead of flattery) ~> “Hey TG! Here’s a box of Cheez-Its. And if you help me move on Saturday, I’ll buy you a slice of pizza!”

And, I agree. Relationships are smoother sailing when everyone gets to steer their own ship!

Tippy Gnu - October 23, 2018

Wow, I think I’ve heard some of that before. And sad to say, the Cheezits line just might work. I can be bribed.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

I can be bribed too . . . if The Price Is Right!

4. Joanne Sisco - October 23, 2018

I think we are all guilty of being manipulators at some time and vice versa. What’s really insidious is when we can no longer tell the difference.

Although I agree that being truthful with friends and family members is a good thing and I hope people are honest with me, it’s all in the tone and intent. Sometimes it’s just wiser to keep one’s own counsel, unless asked.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

Cicero hit the nail on the head for me.

Trust is the cornerstone of friendship for me. If you ask for my HONEST opinion, that’s exactly what I’ll give you. If you want me to “beat around the bush,” be honest and say so! 😀

5. Jill Weatherholt - October 23, 2018

I have several friendships that go back more than forty years. One thing I’ve learned is I don’t give advice unless asked and even then, it’s with a great deal of thought. Love the balloons!

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

Aren’t the balloons great! I think my little bro did a great job capturing the spirit of the festival.

Except for close friends, I tend to bite my tongue and keep my opinions to myself. But if any one asks for my “honest opinion,” I try to give them just that . . .

Sometimes my candor is not appreciated. 🙄

6. L. Marie - October 23, 2018

The advice about friendship is also apt for a good beta reader. You want that person to tell you the truth!

Ah the balloon festival! The other Nancy in my life (who believe it or not has the same first and last name as you) lives in New Mexico and goes to the balloon festival. When I heard a woman ask about the bathrooms, it reminded me of her voice. 😀

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

Yes! A good beta reader needs to tell the truth.

When I was writing on WEbook, a writer asked me for feedback on his WIP. I was very, very, very gentle in my constructive criticism. Even so, he got upset at my comments.

When I expressed surprise (“Didn’t you want honest feedback?”), he said he did BUT . . . he was so used to people LYING to him about the quality of his writing that he was taken aback by my honesty.

BTW: The other Nancy Hatch is an imposter! I am the original. 😆

L. Marie - October 24, 2018

😁 😂
I’ve had writers get upset with me about manuscript feedback. I tend not to waste time reading anything else by them. One time a writer, disbelieving what I said, entered a contest and was sadly raked over the coals by an agent. Sometimes a gentle word is a gentle warning to avoid embarrassment later.

nrhatch - October 24, 2018

That’s my modus operandi too, LM. If I can’t provide HONEST feedback, then I don’t provide any feedback at all.

7. rivergirl1211 - October 23, 2018

I’ve always wanted to visit a balloon festival. We have one here in Maine every year, but the thought of getting up at 3:00am to be there by 5:30am just doesn’t match my description of fun.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

I hear ya!

The solution:
Stay up drinking and carousing until 3 am. Cheers!

rivergirl1211 - October 23, 2018

That could work… although I might fall out of the balloon, which wouldn’t be good.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

I hear ya!

The solution:
A harness or tether to keep you “contained.” (As if!) 😆

8. Ally Bean - October 23, 2018

I’ve known a few manipulators in my life. At first I didn’t get what was going on because that type of behavior is foreign to me, but once I did catch on I kept my distance from them. I’m a kind person, but I’m not a pawn in anyone’s power trip game.

I’ve been to the Balloon Museum in Albuquerque and it was great, but not as neat as this festival.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

We enjoyed the Balloon Festival we attended in Statesville NC ~> so colorful! As the balloons lifted off, I wanted to crane my neck in every direction at once. An impossibility, of course. 😯

My mom was a master manipulator ~ she used flattery to get what she wanted. If that didn’t work, anger. If that didn’t work, guilt. If that didn’t work . . .

But it wasn’t her fault.

Growing up, she was an ONLY child with THREE adults (mom, dad, aunt) catering to her every whim. 😆

9. Kate Crimmins - October 23, 2018

Friendship is tricky. The balloons are very cool! I’ve been to a couple of balloon shows locally (and have had a ride). They are magnificent.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

I’m glad you had a chance to ride in a beautiful balloon!

10. http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com - October 23, 2018

Thank you for the friendship piece. Ah, a balloon ascension! I have always wanted to go up,up, and away.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

I hope you have a chance to ride in a beautiful balloon! It’s an experience that surprised us in several respects:

1. Noise
2. Heat
3. Bumpy Landing!

11. Debra - October 23, 2018

The balloons are absolutely gorgeous! How graceful and enchanting! I think I prefer looking at them to the possibility of taking a ride, but perhaps if I were there I wouldn’t be able to resist! 🙂 And friendship needs evaluation from time to time…they can get a little off-balance without careful maintenance. Thanks for focusing the discussion, Nancy.

nrhatch - October 23, 2018

Just don’t get into a hot air balloon if it’s the gondolier’s first day on the job! 😛

Friendships in school were easier ~> hang out, talk about shared interests, dream about the future, etc. As adults, tending our friendships is more like cultivating roses than sowing wild flowers.

Debra - October 24, 2018

Excellent advice in both areas, Nancy! LOL!

12. Val Boyko - October 24, 2018

So refreshing thank you my friend❣️

nrhatch - October 24, 2018

Speaking of refreshing . . . we just got back from an hour long walk on the beach without breaking a sweat!

Huzzah! Fall is here at last.

Val Boyko - October 24, 2018

Now that sounds perfect!

nrhatch - October 25, 2018

This is my favorite time of year here.

13. It All Started with the Cat | Nuggets of Gold - November 3, 2018

[…] The bell chimed as the door to Jodi’s diner opened up again. It was getting to be busy, for this was the place to be in the morning for delicious danishes, scones, and muffins. Nancy came in, it was hard for her to make up her mind today so she told Jodi that she wanted a little bit of this and that, pointing to all the various delicacies. https://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2018/10/23/a-bit-of-this-that/ […]

nrhatch - November 3, 2018

FOR THE RECORD ~> I did NOT eat all those “bits of this and that” myself. I had HELP! 😆

14. beeblu - November 23, 2018

I’m grateful for my friends and that there are not too many I’ve had to weed out over the years, although one of the weeds was for a time a very close friend.

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