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Mom’s Passing July 31, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
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Mom passed away this evening at age 87 after a recent and rapid decline.

Bill and I visited her at Doug & Joan’s house at the end of May.  At that time, she was still taking regular walks outside, taking her meals upstairs, and enjoying a pleasant flow to her days.

We had a wonderful visit.

The same held true when Betsy, Mike, and Sam visited at the beginning of June.

Since then, her energy levels declined at a rapid rate . . .

A week ago, Hospice let us know that the end was approaching and offered increased assistance to Joan with mom’s care since she could no longer eat, drink, or get out of bed.  Fortunately, mom remained comfortable (with pain medication) until she passed away earlier this evening.

Although we are saddened by her passing, we are at peace with the knowledge that she would not have wanted to linger in a semi-conscious state.

She only wanted to live while she could still “live it up” . . .

Plus, she missed my dad.

In a philosophy paper written in college, she summed up her life philosophy:

What are we trying to achieve?

Here, I believe with Plato and Aristotle that the highest good is the full development of our individual potentialities ~ and this is happiness, complete in itself, the intrinsic good.

The individual will know happiness as a state of being, not as a momentary pleasure; it will be the hymn of his life to uplift him and to sing on into the lives of all who know him.

On these points, she agrees, also, with the Dalai Lama . . . we are here to be happy and to make others happy.

Let that be the coda to each of our lives.

Aah . . . that’s better!

 

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Comments»

1. joyroses13 - July 31, 2017

A lovely tribute to your Mom!
So sorry about her death, sounds like she had a great outlook on life! Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! ❤

nrhatch - July 31, 2017

Thanks, Joy. Mom had a great life and a peaceful passing. Knowing that helps.

joyroses13 - July 31, 2017

You are welcome and I am sure it does!

2. Naomi - August 1, 2017

Beautiful post Nancy, you Mom seems like a gem. Special love to you and yours, XO

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Naomi. Mom lived a full and happy life, leaving behind a wonderful legacy.

3. mybeautfulthings - August 1, 2017

I send you love across the ocean. This is a beautiful tribute to your Mum and makes it clear where you get your own happiness philosophy from. xx

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks. Mom’s still here . . . lingering in our hearts and memories.

mybeautfulthings - August 1, 2017

And she will stay there as long as you are alive and beyond as she is remembered with love. Both my folks live with me still, in my heart and my MiniMum often whispers advice in my ear. xx

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Whispered advice is worth heeding. Thanks!

4. Jill Weatherholt - August 1, 2017

What a beautiful tribute to your mother, Nancy. I’m so happy you were able to spent that time with her in May. I love her motto. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. xo

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Jill. Betsy and I are happy that we were able to spend time with mom while she was still able to “do her thing.”

Saying good-bye is never easy . . . we are seldom prepared to face death when it arrives at the door. But if we focus on the Joy we shared, the Sorrow dissipates.

5. Tippy Gnu - August 1, 2017

Sounds like you really loved your mother, and will be missing her. I’m glad her passing was peaceful.

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

I am at peace with her passing. If she had lived longer, her life would have been filled with increasing pain, with little to counter-balance it. Far better that she let go of the vessel that no longer served her needs.

6. Rainee - August 1, 2017

Sorry to hear about your loss Nancy. It sounds like you have plenty of memories of happy times with an amazing woman as your mother xx

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Rainee. As long as memories of mom resound and echo through life’s passageways, a part of her will remain with us.

7. colonialist - August 1, 2017

Sincere condolences.
A rich and full life, and it was time to move on. What more can one ask but that the memories one leaves will be happy ones.

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Col. I have a myriad of memories of mom to help me smile through this time of passing sorrow. All things must pass.

8. Joanne Sisco - August 1, 2017

My deepest condolences, Nancy. I appreciate there are conflicting emotions when an elderly parent passes, but it’s clear from your post that your mom had a full life and you have many wonderful memories. It sounds like she’s left a strong legacy behind her ❤

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Joanne. You’re so right . . . she’s gone, and yet her essence lingers.

9. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? - August 1, 2017

Sending love and prayers for you and your family. I know she was a wonderful woman because she has such a wonderful daughter.

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Kate. Your comment reminds me of a poem she wrote for me many years ago:

This comes with love to our dear “wholesome” daughter
Who nowadays {mostly} does what she oughta.
She keeps us on track when the world isn’t funny
She has a real knack for making rainy days sunny

Kate @ Did That Just Happen? - August 1, 2017

Well, now I may have to shed a tear – that is just lovely!

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

If mom have been born a few years later . . . she might have had her own blog. She loved putting her thoughts down in writing.

10. Ally Bean - August 1, 2017

My condolences. You’ve done your mother proud by telling us about what a wonderful woman she was. Take care of yourself in the coming months as you adjust to your loss.

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Ally. I’m sad, but not unhappy or heart-broken. Mom lived while she lived and had a wonderful life. We’ll miss her AND keep the happy memories alive.

11. Catherine Johnson - August 1, 2017

A wonderful lady. Sorry for your loss

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Catherine. With acceptance comes peace, leaving us free to celebrate her life instead of mourning this necessary passage.

12. Kate Crimmins - August 1, 2017

My sincerest sympathy. It sounds like she lived full until she couldn’t anymore. Then she made a peaceful exit. What great timing that you saw her recently. Beautiful tribute to your parents.

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Kate! We’re so glad we had a chance to visit her last month while she was still able to “move about the cabin” of her own volition. In her view (and mine): Being alive without being able to enjoy life is no life at all.

13. William D'Andrea - August 1, 2017

You have my sympathies, and prayers for you, your family, and everyone who knew your mother.

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, William. Here’s to living life while we’re able.

14. Val Boyko - August 1, 2017

What a wonderful passing. I’m so glad you had the time to spend with her and the family. And we’re able to take time to reflect on what you appreciate about this remarkable woman.
May the memories live forever in your heart ❤️

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks, Val. Writing her obituary has given me an opportunity to revisit all the ways that she lived up to her potentialities ~ she lived a full and happy life.

15. Debra - August 1, 2017

I have really enjoyed the way you’ve shared your mom with us over time, as you did your dad previously. And these pictures speak volumes as to how they both seem to have been people wonderfully engaged in life and with their families. I am so glad you had your latest visit and saw her under good terms. It is still a loss, even under the best possible terms, so I send a long-distance hug!

nrhatch - August 1, 2017

Thanks for the hug, Debra! We’re sad that she is “gone” but know that she will “sing on” in our hearts and memories.

16. misifusa - August 3, 2017

Nancy, I have tears in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks as I understand. The decline happens quickly sometimes (as it did with my mom’s sister whom I took care of). There’s comfort in knowing that your Mom is with your Dad (which will be my situation in the future as well). I am sending you healing hugs. Knowing she lived a full and happy life makes all the difference and knowing she’s with your Dad now hopefully helps as well. Thanks for sharing your post with me xoxo

nrhatch - August 3, 2017

Thanks for your kind words. In many ways, dealing with mom’s loss of memories (especially our shared history) was harder than this final farewell. We’ve had a few moments of sadness when it sinks in that she is “gone” . . . but we’re not unhappy. It was time.

misifusa - August 4, 2017

I understand Nancy. My heart goes out to you and to your family. Thanks for sharing your story xo

nrhatch - August 4, 2017

Thanks . . .

17. Behind the Story - August 4, 2017

I love the photos of your mom. She looks like a person who really enjoyed life. And I love the excerpt from her Philosophy paper. What a wise woman!

Your mom’s passing seemed similar to that of my mom. She was 90 years old, walking around with her walker until one day she lost all her energy. She died five or six days later, not from any particular thing. She’d just reached the end of her life.

No matter how good the life and death of a mother, her passing still leaves a hole. I’m sorry.

nrhatch - August 4, 2017

Thanks, Nicki. That’s it . . . mom’s energy levels dropped to the point that she didn’t have enough energy left to live.

Because I let go of the mom I knew “bit by bit” over the years, this week has been much easier that if I’d lost her all at once. Even so, moments of sadness well up at (unexpected) times ~> yesterday I started crying when I heard “Rocky Mountain High” by John Denver. That song’s been a reminder of mom ever since she moved to Colorado.

18. diannegray - August 5, 2017

This is a beautiful tribute to your mother, Nancy. I love the philosophy paper and the thought that lives sing on into the lives of all who have known them. Last year I had times when I would be ‘caught off-guard’ after my mother passed and cry at things that would normally make me smile.This has settled over time. Sending hugs and love across the ocean to you. xxxxx

nrhatch - August 5, 2017

Thanks, Dianne. I have had a few of those “caught off guard” moments in the past week. I’m glad that you are feeling more settled now. It’s a process ~ we have to take the time we need to regain our equilibrium and reclaim our smiles.

19. Anne Lene @ MinimalistSometimes - August 14, 2017

I’m so sorry for your loss 💕 She sounds like a gem. Wonderful written, big hug to you and your family, Lots of love from Norway 💕💕💕

nrhatch - August 15, 2017

Thanks, Anne! Happy memories keep surfacing and making me smile.

Anne Lene @ MinimalistSometimes - August 18, 2017

💕💕💕


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