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How Malapropriate! June 10, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People, Word Play.

Sometimes mom has a tough time finding the right words to convey her sentiments, resulting in humorous lines along the lines of malapropisms, spoonerisms, or eggcorns.

By way of example, our parting conversation:

“Mom, we’re packing the car and plan to leave this morning.”

“Well, I can’t say I’m sorry. . . . (PAUSE) . . . Oh, I think that came out wrong.”

“I know, mom.”

Other times, she nails it!

Case in point:

Mom’s new neurologist, a doctor with LONG black hair cascading down her back, admonished mom to quit smoking, citing health reasons:  “You should quit smoking.  It would be healthier.”

Without missing a beat, mom replied:  “You should cut your hair.  It would look more professional.”

Lecture over!

Aah . . . that’s better!


1. Maggie Wilson - June 10, 2017

Ah, I love a gal without a “pause” button.

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

My sister-in-law shared this gem with me . . . I roared!

2. Jill Weatherholt - June 10, 2017

Best come back EVER! Your mother looks so sweet, Nancy.

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

I got such a kick out of mom’s comment to her new doctor.

Mom is sweet these days ~> the epitome of a “sweet little old lady.”

3. joyroses13 - June 10, 2017

Oh she sounds wonderful! The first laugh of the day for me. Thanks for sharing!

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

Yay! Glad it was good for a giggle. I love talking to mom when her synapses are firing like that. 😀

4. Val Boyko - June 10, 2017

Love her feisty spirit!!

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

Every once in a while bit of her old *spark* appears ~> fireworks!

5. Rainee - June 10, 2017

I like her spirit!

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

She is a “tamer” version of her previous self these days, but glimmers of “younger mom” shine through from time to time. 😀

6. L. Marie - June 10, 2017

I’ll bet that’s the last time her doctor will lecture her! 😀

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

My SIL said that there have been no more lectures. Good. If I live to be 87 or older, I want to live how I want to live . . .

7. Tippy Gnu - June 10, 2017

Good comeback. Seems obvious to me that when you get up into your 80’s it’s too late to quit anything. I just don’t understand why some doctors don’t understand that.

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

Agreed! In mom’s case, there isn’t much she can do to amuse herself other than going for short walks and enjoying an occasional cigarette outside while looking for bunnies.

At this point, she smokes 1-2 cigarettes a day ~ an amount that is not likely to make a hill of a beans of difference to her health.

8. Manuela, dreaming - June 10, 2017

Ha! Your mom sounds amaze balls!

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

Thanks! I think so too.

9. Tiny - June 10, 2017

Love you mom’s rebuttal to the doctor !

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

Love it when her personal pizzazz still shines through the haze!

10. Kate Crimmins - June 10, 2017

I’m not giving up chocolate when I’m old….umm….er…..older!

nrhatch - June 10, 2017

Me neither!

11. beeblu - June 11, 2017

The freedom to say whatever she wants (or doesn’t mean to :)) has been well earned.

nrhatch - June 11, 2017

Exactly! These days, she’s mostly sweet natured and even-keeled, but the occasional *zinger* keeps things interesting.

12. granny1947 - June 11, 2017

Think I would love your Mom!

nrhatch - June 11, 2017

Thanks, Kathy. These days, mom’s a pallid shadow of her former self . . . but glimmers of “younger mom” still shine through.

Hope you’re coping with the loss of your mom. It’s an adjustment.

granny1947 - June 11, 2017

Thanks NR…I am coping just fine…abnormally so!

nrhatch - June 11, 2017

Not abnormal at all ~> death is not only a release, it’s sometimes a great big relief (tinged with sadness, of course).

All the best to you and your stepdad.

13. anotherday2paradise - June 11, 2017

Haha. Quick thinking on your mom’s part. She reminds me of my late Gran. 😃

nrhatch - June 11, 2017

Mom’s not much of a quick thinker (or talker) these days which is why I found this comeback so amusing.

“Gotcha, Doc!”

14. Barb - June 12, 2017

It’s GREAT when a person gets to the age they can say what they want. Go Mom!

nrhatch - June 12, 2017

That’s what I think! BTW: Her name is Barb. 😀

15. Eileen - June 12, 2017

My mother lived with us for seven years while declining seriously with what we now know was Alzheimer’s. Late one afternoon, I was working at the kitchen counter on something job related. It was getting on toward dinner time and mom became determined to get cooking underway, harassing me repeatedly until I finally gave in and turned on a large pot of water for seven ears of corn and a small pot of water for a pack of frozen broccoli for the three of us who would eat it. I told mom, “When the water comes to a boil, put the corn in the large pot and the broccoli in the small one. I went back to working and a while later she said, “Eileen, something doesn’t look right.” When I went over to check, I saw that she had crammed all the corn in the small pot now bereft of water and burning the corn, while the broccoli was free floating in the huge pot of water. It had been a rough day and I simply lost it, declaring sharply, “Oh my, God!” As quick as a wink, she replied, “Call on somebody you know!”

nrhatch - June 12, 2017

What a great comeback! I may borrow it . . . 😀

16. roughwighting - June 13, 2017

My mom has lost her filters also. But she’s not sad or worried about it. I think she loves it! I think after we get a certain age, we’re allowed to say exactly what we think. Thanks for the fun post, and hugs to your mom. 🙏

nrhatch - June 13, 2017

Thanks, Pam. Mom loves getting hugs!

Mom does fret about her loss of memory (at times). And (on occasion) she gets frustrated when she can’t find the word she needs when she needs it. That said, most of her day is worry free . . . she just flows from moment to moment attending to the matters at hand.

roughwighting - June 13, 2017

And really, that’s the best way to live!!

nrhatch - June 14, 2017


17. Debra - June 14, 2017

Oh good for mom! I know without being there that your mom thoroughly enjoyed your visit and I’m confident it was special for you, as well. I love the photos. And thanks for introducing me to “eggcorns.” Entirely new to me! 🙂

nrhatch - June 14, 2017

We’re glad that we made the trip; it was great to see mom, et al.

The wonderful thing about words is that even when our words come out “wrong” . . . they’re sometimes “just right.”

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