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Penis van Lesbian April 22, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Less IS More, People.

A good looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said “I want to be a movie star.” Tall, handsome, with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, “What’s your name?”

“Penis van Lesbian.”

“Sir, in order to get into Hollywood, you will have to change your name.”

“I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever!!”

The agent said, “I’ve worked in Hollywood for years.  You’ll NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! For sure you’ll HAVE to change your name or I won’t represent you.”

“So be it! I guess we won’t do business together!”

Five years later, the agent opens an envelope sent to his office.

Inside the envelope is a check for $25,000.

The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $25,000?

He reads the enclosed letter . . .

“Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian.

Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused.

After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name.  I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent who quickly signed me with Walt Disney for a number of movies which have been very lucrative.

You were right.  I never would have made it without changing my name.

Thank you for your advice and please accept the enclosed check as a token of my appreciation.


Dick van Dyke

HaHa . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)


1. Tina - April 22, 2017

How funny!

nrhatch - April 22, 2017

Hope your day is filled with smiles, Tina.

Tina - April 22, 2017

it started off that way. I think I will continue to have a happy day. I hope you have one too!

nrhatch - April 22, 2017


2. Jill Weatherholt - April 22, 2017

LOL! That’s hilarious, Nancy! 🙂

nrhatch - April 22, 2017

That’s what I thought! Have a fun-filled weekend, Jill.

3. Kate Crimmins - April 22, 2017

Argh! Thanks for the smile!

nrhatch - April 22, 2017

Have a great day, Kate . . . filled with cat cuddles!

4. Val Boyko - April 22, 2017

Cracked me up!! 🤡

nrhatch - April 22, 2017

Yay! My mission is accomplished.

5. William D'Andrea - April 22, 2017

I wonder. Is this some kind of defamation? Should Mr. Van Dyke warm up his lawyer?

nrhatch - April 22, 2017

Why would he claim defamation of character? It paints him as a kind, generous, and appreciative actor . . . not to mention tall, handsome, and talented! 😀

6. Barb - April 22, 2017


nrhatch - April 22, 2017

Glad you enjoyed, Barb.

7. diannegray - April 23, 2017

Haaaaa! That is absolutely hilarious Nancy! Gave me a big belly laugh this morning 😀

nrhatch - April 23, 2017

Yay! I felt the same way when I got to the punch line.
Keep on saving those dragonflies!

8. L. Marie - April 24, 2017

Oh Nancy! You crack me up!

nrhatch - April 24, 2017

Life is better with laughter!

9. Tiny - April 24, 2017

Thanks for this Monday laugh, Nancy!

nrhatch - April 25, 2017

You’re welcome!

10. Debra - April 28, 2017

I must admit I wondered where this one was going! Ha! Good one!

nrhatch - April 28, 2017

Exactly my experience as I read it for the first time . . . with a big pay-off chuckle at the end of the e-mail. 😀

11. judithhb - December 28, 2017

Funny and true? Maybe not but still funny.

nrhatch - December 28, 2017

Yes! Certain synonyms are more socially acceptable than others.

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