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When Nothing Goes Right . . . Go Left January 21, 2017

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, Word Play.


“I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.”

“Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions.  Chocolate understands.”

“I think my soul mate might be carbs.”

“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food!”




“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.”  ~ Lily Tomlin

“Please cancel my subscription to your issues.”

“If I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote.”

“Don’t like me?  That’s cool.  I don’t wake up every day to impress you.”




“When I’m bored, I send a text to a random number saying, “I hid the body . . . now what?” ”

“Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.”

“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” ~ Will Rogers

“Do not take life too seriously.  You will never get out of it alive.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  Funny Quotes About Life (Google)




1. Jill Weatherholt - January 21, 2017

Loved this, Nancy…especially the last quote. Happy Saturday!

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

Thanks, Jill . . . carpe diem!

2. Under the Oaks - January 21, 2017

FOOD… it’s all about food for me in the winter! This was fun this morning! I am hoping not to take a walk to the fridge today but a real walk outside.. it is going to be 64 today! Good Morning!

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

Morning, Pix! Glad that you are going to have balmy temps today and a chance to wander around outside. Going for a walk is such a good mood boost for me . . . but not when it’s too cold.

And I hear you about food in winter ~> “the carbs, the carbs, are calling . . . ” (sung to the tune of Danny Boy)

3. Val Boyko - January 21, 2017

That really is better! Thanks Nancy for the chuckle this morning. There are a couple of quotes I will use today 😉

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

Glad you enjoyed. I had fun picking them out of the long long line-up on Google.

Val Boyko - January 21, 2017

I’m still waiting for the opportunity to say “If I wanted to be controlled I would have come with a remote” …. 🐥

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

That’s a keeper. I’m guessing you won’t have to wait too long. People love to tell us what we SHOULD be doing. 😀

4. Ally Bean - January 21, 2017

Like the Lily Tomlin quote. So much complaining, not enough doing. I blame that on human nature and social media. 🙂

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

Lily Tomlin’s quote is spot on! Maybe we can discourage future complaints and whine fests with liberal use of this one:

“Please cancel my subscription to your issues.”

Ally Bean - January 21, 2017

Or the one I remember from high school is: “Here’s a dime. Call someone who cares.” [Kind of dates me doesn’t it?]

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

These days we could just proffer our phones!

5. findingmedaily43 - January 21, 2017

Those were great! I can’t pick a favorite because several really work for me 🙂 and chocolate is a good friend of mine!

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

Glad you enjoyed! Starting the day with a smile (or chocolate) is always a good thing.

6. Kate Crimmins - January 21, 2017

Perfect day for these! Please pass the chocolate.

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

Chocolate provides a good mood boost . . . it gets us!

7. Tippy Gnu - January 21, 2017

I like the Will Rogers quote the best. Funny stuff.

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

That’s the quote that got me looking at all the other ones. What a way to go!

Joanne Sisco - January 23, 2017

Apparently Tippy, we share the same dark humour. I’ve always liked that Will Rogers quote. It makes me laugh every time.
Horrific – but really funny!

Tippy Gnu - January 23, 2017

There’s nothing like gallows humor to cheer up a dark day.

nrhatch - January 23, 2017


8. William D'Andrea - January 21, 2017

When I read your title, of this day after the New President’s Inauguration, I thought you were expressing a political opinion. Now, after reading all those quotes, I’m relieved that you’re not. I’ve had enough!

nrhatch - January 21, 2017

Same here. Enough of politics for awhile.

9. livelytwist - January 23, 2017

Ha ha ha… “I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food!” We are getting there … 🙂

nrhatch - January 23, 2017

From 3-D printing . . . to smell-o-vision . . . to downloaded food!

10. L. Marie - January 23, 2017

Chocolate does understand. And I love that it waits for me in my refrigerator. It’s not demanding at all.
This was a great list!

nrhatch - January 23, 2017

We ALWAYS have chocolate in the fridge. When Dove Dark Chocolate Miniatures are on sale . . . we buy bags and bags!

11. pix & kardz - January 24, 2017

that quote by Will Rogers about wanting to die peacefully in his sleep like his grandfather got me giggling…. hmmm… 🙂

nrhatch - January 24, 2017

It reminds me of the post I wrote about a dream I had:


12. Bun Karyudo - January 25, 2017

The one about not waking up to impress the listener is such a good line. I’ll have to remember it for the next time I have trouble at work. (I love the picture that goes with it too. There’s a woman comfortable in her own skin.)

nrhatch - January 25, 2017

She’s a long time favorite of mine ~ reminds me of Trudy, the Lily Tomlin character from The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe:

Anne Lene @ MinimalistSometimes - February 6, 2017

That one had me laugh out loud too… it’s one I’m putting in my repertoire 😉

nrhatch - February 6, 2017

It’s a great thought to have in your back pocket when it’s clear that someone is trying to measure you with their yardstick.

Anne Lene @ MinimalistSometimes - February 8, 2017

Too, true 😉

13. theinfinityexplorer - January 26, 2017

“I think my soulmate might be carbs” ha ha ha…loved this one!

nrhatch - January 26, 2017

Food = Good!

14. Debra - January 26, 2017

These are really rich, Nancy. I love all the quotes in the “Death” section and then my favorite is, “Don’t like me? That’s cool. I don’t wake up every day to impress you.” That’s a good one!

nrhatch - January 27, 2017

That’s my favorite too ~> along with the cigar-smoking “poster girl” for the concept.

15. Tammy - January 29, 2017

if the timeline is long enough, there is zero chance of survival

nrhatch - January 29, 2017

True dat!

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