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On Patrol December 17, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Health & Wellness, Humor.

The Longboat Key News shares actual police reports in its weekly paper.  One that caught my attention:

October 29

Illegal Donut Dumping

Officer Cooper made contact with the complainant in the 7100 block of Gulf of Mexico Drive who stated sometime during the night unknown persons dumped several boxes of donuts in the parking lot.  Nothing further to report.

My guess?

220px--Lena_Horne_conserves_fuel_(gas).-,_ca._1941_-_ca._1945_-_NARA_-_535820Someone’s wife found and trashed Someone’s secret stash of donuts which Someone had vowed to give up in order to comply with his wife’s edict that he:

(1) lose weight;
(2) lower his blood sugar;
(3) lower his cholesterol; or
(4) honor his wheat free resolution.

I also expect that Officer Cooper took the evidence into “custody” for safe-keeping.

Aah . . . that’s better!



1. Don - December 17, 2016

Now Officer Cooper’s wife has the problem. 😊

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

Unless she’s like me ~> HIS health = HIS responsibility. 😀

Don - December 17, 2016

You’re wise Nancy.

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

Thanks, Don. I value autonomy enough to grant autonomy to others . . . to sail their own boats.

2. Jill Weatherholt - December 17, 2016

What? That’s funny, Nancy! Perhaps the person was supposed to be delivering the donuts, but something more fun and exciting came up.

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

I got a kick out of imagining scenarios where someone would dump a bunch of donuts and then flee the scene.

3. Tippy Gnu - December 17, 2016

So many possibilities. You can drive a hole right through this post.

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

We might not have the hole scoop!

4. Under the Oaks - December 17, 2016

Funny comments here… love them! Nothing funny from me, I think someBODY dropped them… 😀 The Officer says they were dumped and that gives me a visual of donuts out of the boxes and scattered on the ground. Now I want donuts!

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

My visual matched yours, but it was fun picturing other options. Like you, BFF desired donuts when he read the blurb!

5. L. Marie - December 17, 2016

That report made me laugh, as did your assessment. 🙂 Hole in one on that one!

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

I love reading the police beat in the island papers ~ some stories are so “unique.”

6. Val Boyko - December 17, 2016

Detective work in the Florida Keys … pretty thrilling and funny Nancy!

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

Life on the island!

7. roughwighting - December 17, 2016

Plus, the jelly donuts were filled with strawberry, instead of raspberry, jelly. The donut-lover was beyond distraught, and just did away with the offending sugary objects. 🙂

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

Bwahaha! That’s it!!! You iz smart.

8. suzicate - December 17, 2016

This would be a great story prompt! Can you imagine the stories?

nrhatch - December 17, 2016

It would be a great story prompt! A wonderful jumping off point for Tall Tales.

9. Tiny - December 18, 2016

That must have been one of his sweetest arrests 🙂

nrhatch - December 18, 2016

Especially if his middle name happened to be “Homer Simpson” ~> “Mmmm . . . doooo-nuuuutz!”

10. Barb - December 19, 2016

Oh man, don’t donut dumpers really tick you off. The only thing that irritates me more are milkshake spillers. Not even the crows will touch that on the pavement.

nrhatch - December 19, 2016

You said it, sister!

11. Tammy - December 19, 2016

I’d be that wife.

nrhatch - December 19, 2016

I’m pretty laissez-faire about what BFF chooses to eat . . . but I don’t have to worry about him being a negative influence on any tiny tots or impressionable teens.

12. Ally Bean - December 20, 2016

This is great. Longboat Key isn’t that large of a place, so seems like someone must know the rest of this story… even if Officer Cooper made off with the evidence. 😉

nrhatch - December 20, 2016

Haha! Exactly.

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