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Aye, Laddie, It’s A Real Kilt Lifter! November 26, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
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Looking for a grand guffaw?  Here’s one that’s a real kilt lifter:

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress.  A sign read: “Don’t miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman.”

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.  Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.  Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy, and smashed the walnuts with three mighty swings!

The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded poster for the same circus and the same sign “Don’t miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman.”

He couldn’t believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket.

Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.

The crowd went wild!

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

“You’re incredible!” he told the Scotsman. “But I have to know something. You’re older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?”

“Well laddie,” said the Scot, “Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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Comments»

1. Kate Crimmins - November 26, 2016

Some parts age better than others.

nrhatch - November 26, 2016

Just so.

2. Jill Weatherholt - November 26, 2016

LOL! You’re crazy, Nancy…but in a good way. 🙂 Happy Saturday!

nrhatch - November 26, 2016

Thanks, Jill! Enjoy the day in every way.

3. Don - November 26, 2016

Wow! Talk about the Loch Ness Monster.

nrhatch - November 26, 2016

Haha! Well said, Don.

4. Tippy Gnu - November 26, 2016

That’s just nuts.

nrhatch - November 26, 2016

You got that right, TG!

5. allthoughtswork - November 26, 2016

This was terrible, and I laughed my ass off. Thanks.

nrhatch - November 26, 2016

Yay! Glad you enjoyed!

allthoughtswork - November 26, 2016

I just heard this one: A man matures by the rate his brain migrates above his waist.

nrhatch - November 27, 2016

Good one!

6. Barb - November 26, 2016

Typical Scotsman!

nrhatch - November 27, 2016

Ha! The “ayes” have it!

7. Patricia - November 26, 2016

I assume he was a bachelor.

nrhatch - November 27, 2016

And, no doubt, in great demand from many a single lass who caught his act.

8. livelytwist - November 27, 2016

Lol. The old man’s answer caught me off guard 🙂

nrhatch - November 27, 2016

Me too!

9. diannegray - November 27, 2016

What a cracker Nancy! 😀

nrhatch - November 27, 2016

Glad you enjoyed this “kilt lifter!”

10. Debra - November 27, 2016

It’s good to recognize adaptable behaviors as we age! LOL! Another good one, Nancy!

nrhatch - November 27, 2016

Haha! Glad you enjoyed . . . probably not one to share with the grandkids. 😉

11. Under the Oaks - November 28, 2016

LOL… wasn’t expecting that!

nrhatch - November 28, 2016

Morning, Pix! Hope your day is full of fun surprises.

12. Joanne Sisco - November 28, 2016

Thanks for this morning’s laugh. It’s a great way to start the day 😀

nrhatch - November 28, 2016

Agreed! Laughter is so healing &a energizing. And speaking of healing . . . Hope your shoulder is improving every day!

Joanne Sisco - November 28, 2016

Thanks 🙂

13. Tammy - November 28, 2016

Nutty story Nancy!

nrhatch - November 28, 2016

Totally nuts! Have a marvelous Monday.

14. Val Boyko - November 28, 2016

Now that is funny 👍😆…. and every Scottish male would probably understand!

nrhatch - November 28, 2016

Ha! Glad you got a kick out of it, Val!

15. mybeautfulthings - November 29, 2016

Thank you for the laugh out loud moment this morning. Now to remember it to tell it at lunch time!! My memory isn’t what it used to be! 🙂

nrhatch - November 29, 2016

Glad you enjoyed . . . have fun retelling this at lunch!

mybeautfulthings - November 29, 2016

It went down very well! Thank you!! 🙂 🙂

nrhatch - November 29, 2016

Awesome sauce!

16. Bun Karyudo - November 30, 2016

Ah yes, Scotland, land of timeless romantic traditions… 🙂

I loved the joke. I hope the Scotsman eyesight doesn’t get any worse or he’ll have to progress to cannon balls.

nrhatch - November 30, 2016

Och, laddie, a cannon ball might pose a wee bit of a challenge.

Bun Karyudo - December 2, 2016

Och, aye!


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