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Restrain Your Self! September 10, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.
33 comments

Wikipedia ~ Handcuffs (in Public Domain)

After a short but heated criminal  trial, the judge asked the defendant if he would like to say anything before the court passed sentence.

Nodding, the defendant jumped to his feet.

His attorney reached out to restrain him . . . to no avail.

Staring defiantly at the judge, the defendant grinned, “Yeah, I got somethin’ to say.”

As defense counsel cradled his head in his hands and prepared for the worst, the defendant smirked and said,  “Your honor, you’re a fat, four-eyed son-of-a-bitch!”

With that, the defendant sat down, a smug look of satisfaction on his face.

His attorney looked toward the judge, hoping the judge would have a sense of humor about the comment.

With a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth, the judge peered over his glasses at the defendant and drawled, “Well, I daresay you may be right about your first two observations . . .”

After pausing to remove and clean his glasses, the judge dropped the other shoe, “but that last comment is going to cost you an extra 90 days.”

“Defendant is hereby remanded to custody . . . ”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Self Restraint . . . you never know when it might save you some time.

Inspiration:  a joke I heard many moons ago