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King Arthur & The Ugly Old Woman August 27, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.

RWS_Tarot_01_MagicianKing Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.

The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals.

The monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.

Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question . . . What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the wisest man.  To young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old ugly woman.  She would have the answer, but the price would be high.  The woman was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged for her wise counsel.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the old woman. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old ugly woman wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the woman answered Arthur’s question thus:

What a woman really wants . . . is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom knew that the woman had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was.

The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the ugly woman had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The young beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared ugly, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and a beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day . . . or at night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old ugly woman?  Or, would he prefer having a hideous woman during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?  Make YOUR choice before you scroll down.


Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Mickey-and-Minnie-kissUpon hearing this, she announced she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

The moral to this story:

If you don’t let a woman have her own way . . . things are going to get ugly!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)


1. Jill Weatherholt - August 27, 2016

Isn’t that the truth! Great story, Nancy!

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

I’ll have to make sure Pam sees this one . . . it will make her feel better about the banner to Mr. & Mrs. Michael Smith.

Jill Weatherholt - August 27, 2016


nrhatch - August 27, 2016

I just swung by her banner post to leave the link.

2. Kate Crimmins - August 27, 2016

That is the truth! Underneath every beauty lies and ugly old woman waiting to pounce!

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

And if she’s short on sleep . . . her cranky old self is not so far underneath!

3. anotherday2paradise - August 27, 2016

Hehehe Love this, Nancy. Thanks for the laugh and the lesson. 😀

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

Lancelot is a smart guy . . . a real knight in shining armor!

anotherday2paradise - August 27, 2016

Every woman should have one. 🙂

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

Yes! A necessary accessory ~> almost as much fun as having a pirate hanging from the chandelier over the grand piano.

4. Tippy Gnu - August 27, 2016

Good story. But why do women have to plague us men with riddles, and expect us to read their minds?

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

Because you need the practice! 😀

Tippy Gnu - August 27, 2016

I already get enough of that, from my wife.

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

Great. You are hereby and forthwith excused from any and all further quizzes and riddles here on SLTW.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled nap.

5. joannesisco - August 27, 2016

Great story. I loved this and I think it applies to everyone regardless of gender 🙂

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

I expect you’re right about that, Joanne. Most folks want to be self-governing with the freedom to choose which path to follow.

6. Bun Karyudo - August 27, 2016

What a clever story! I loved it. 🙂

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

Yay! I shared it with BFF on our beach walk this morning. He didn’t do as well as Lancelot in answering the bride’s query.

Bun Karyudo - August 27, 2016

Oh dear! 🙂

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

That’s OK. He knows enough to let me steer my own ship.

7. colonialist - August 27, 2016

I did enjoy the story, even though I am uneasy about the moral which seems to be, ‘Always let a woman have her own way.’

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

Haha! Be afraid. Be very very afraid.

Especially if you are married to a “Ms. Bossy Pants.”

colonialist - August 27, 2016

Oh, no! Shall we say, Mrs Supervising Skirt’?

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

I’ll allow HER to make the choice herself.

8. Don - August 27, 2016

I’m afraid I fell short of Lancelot’s wisdom, Nancy. Wonderful story.

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

So did BFF . . . he thought he should choose for her.

9. Tiny - August 27, 2016

Right on the money 🙂

nrhatch - August 27, 2016

Here’s to being in charge of our own life!

10. roughwighting - August 28, 2016

I’m sitting here smiling early Sunday morning – I think I’ll be smiling all day. Thanks for the great story!!! 🙂

nrhatch - August 28, 2016

I thought it might suit you. Glad you enjoyed.

11. Under the Oaks - August 28, 2016

I loved it!

nrhatch - August 28, 2016

Yay! Hope CH always lets you steer your own ship.

Under the Oaks - August 28, 2016


nrhatch - August 29, 2016

A perfect team-mate!

12. diannegray - August 28, 2016

Wonderful story, Nancy! Ain’t that the truth 😀

nrhatch - August 28, 2016

Here’s to making our own choices!

13. Debra - August 30, 2016

Such a beautiful story and elaborate setup for the punchline, Nancy! This is another really good one!

nrhatch - August 31, 2016

I heard this one eons ago (B.B. ~> Before Blogging). I was psyched to see it land in my in box so I could share it.

14. Morgan - August 31, 2016

Marvelous 🙂 Made me smile!!

nrhatch - August 31, 2016

Yay! Glad you enjoyed.

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