jump to navigation

Talking Dog For Sale July 23, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Animals, Humor, Joke.
trackback

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: “Talking Dog For Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

Pluto-HappyThe guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking dog sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Sure do.” the dog replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.”

Pluto-Rollerskating“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

“I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.”

Pluto-SnoozingThe guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Cause he’s a liar.  He ain’t never done any of that shit.  Ain’t never even been outside this yard.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Advertisements

Comments»

1. Jill Weatherholt - July 23, 2016

I just spit out my coffee, Nancy…hilarious! 🙂 Happy Saturday!

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

I got such a kick out of this one! That dad-burned guy can’t see the forest for the trees cuz he’s so busy judging that amazing dog with the wrong ruler.

Hope you had the happiest of birthdays!

Jill Weatherholt - July 23, 2016

Thank you, Nancy. It’s been terrific…still celebrating. 🙂

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Yay! Glad it’s been a good one. It’s my birthday month too, but our celebration has been “low key.”

I’m enjoying ALL my days . . . every one is a treasure.

2. Kate Crimmins - July 23, 2016

Damn dogs! You can never trust them. That’s what my cats tell me.

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

A talking cat would be cool. Of course, most cats wouldn’t just talk . . . they’d “talk back.”

Kate Crimmins - July 23, 2016

Oh yeah.

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Hence your series Sassy Cats!

3. Bun Karyudo - July 23, 2016

A smooth talker and a great big fibber! That dog should run for public office.

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Yes! He’d make a stellar politician.

4. Val Boyko - July 23, 2016

wondering if this gave rise to “politicians are dogs”… 😆

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Straight from the dog’s mouth!

Val Boyko - July 23, 2016

🐕🐾🐩🐾☺️

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

WOOF!!!

William D'Andre - July 25, 2016

On the other hand, “It’s Donald!…Duck!”
Have you noticed, there is a strong similarity between both characters?

5. livelytwist - July 23, 2016

The dog is impressive, lol! 🙂

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Can’t imagine parting with him for a mere $10.

6. diannegray - July 23, 2016

Haaaaaa! Hilarious! 😀

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Glad you enjoyed! How are your guinea fowl? Have they flown the coop yet?

diannegray - July 26, 2016

They’re still here. Having fun with them this morning because they just spotted themselves in the reflection of a visitors car door. Wow – what a confused commotion! LOL

nrhatch - July 27, 2016

Ha! I can see them scrambling around to welcome the newcomers and introduce themselves.

Babble Babble Babble.

7. roughwighting - July 23, 2016

I’m laughing out loud – by myself – at my desk. THANK YOU. Wonderful. Ah, what we don’t see in front of our faces, yes? 🙂

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Exactly! We can “miss the boat” without even realizing it.

8. anotherday2paradise - July 23, 2016

Bwahaha…….Love the story and also the comments you got. Thanks for the laughs. 🙂

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Glad you enjoyed, Sylvia. Bet you wish Iggy could talk!

anotherday2paradise - July 23, 2016

Yes, that would be interesting, especially if he told people what he sees through my bathroom window. 😅

nrhatch - July 24, 2016

Haha! So when you’re getting an eyeful of Iggy . . . Iggy’s getting an eyeful of you!

9. Barb - July 23, 2016

Hilarious…..smart dog!

nrhatch - July 23, 2016

Reminds me of the show “Mr. Ed” . . . starring a talking horse, of course, of course.

10. Debra - July 23, 2016

That’s one of the funniest jokes I’ve heard in a long time. It’s so ridiculous, it’s great! 🙂

nrhatch - July 24, 2016

Glad you enjoyed it!

Joe sent me several terrific jokes this week ~ I’ve got my Silly Saturday posts scheduled through the end of August!

11. Behind the Story - July 23, 2016

I want that dog. I wouldn’t send him to spy on anyone, but I might steal some of his stories. Another good joke, Nancy.

nrhatch - July 24, 2016

Glad you enjoyed and that the idea of a talking dog fired up your imagination ~> I might be tempted to ask him to fill me in on the scoop periodically.

“Hey, Bowser! Whatcha know good in the neighborhood?”

“Well, Mrs. Smith’s bursitis is acting up again. She asked Charlie to weed her parsnip patch this week. Charlie said he didn’t have the time since he won the lottery and is headed to Vegas. And you’ll never guess who he’s taking with him . . . ”

“Not Ethel!”

“Yup. Ethel. She’s always had a soft spot for Charlie and now that he’s rolling in the bucks, she’s ready to roll the dice and take a chance on a roll in the hay with him. In Vegas, Baby!”

Behind the Story - July 24, 2016

A neighborhood spy. Perfect!

nrhatch - July 25, 2016

Of course, if the dog is a “Chatty Cathy,” the secret nature of his work would soon become readily apparent to others and they’ll clam up when Bowser’s around.

Then again, Bowser could “turn coat” and become a double agent ~> for a couple of dog biscuits or a ride in the car.

12. judithhb - July 25, 2016

Settling down for the night and thought I’d just go over to see what you were up to and I’m so glad I did. Great tale. Thanks for the smile on my face as I turn out the light.

nrhatch - July 25, 2016

Yay! Glad to share a smile with you, Judith. Cyberspace is amazing ~ sending mirth around the world in record time.

13. Under the Oaks - July 25, 2016

That is funny! Smart pup!!!

nrhatch - July 25, 2016

He’d be quite a novelty & lots of doggone fun!

14. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? - July 25, 2016

haahahhahaha! Love that!!

nrhatch - July 25, 2016

Silly Saturday Series => sending smiles across the miles!

15. beeblu - July 26, 2016

Haha – who’s the mutt, then?

nrhatch - July 26, 2016

Exactly, BB. That dog is a shade smarter than his human counter part.

16. Tiny - July 28, 2016

Smiling! And I’d pay 20 bucks!

nrhatch - July 28, 2016

Me too! What fun to have a talking pet.


What Say YOU?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: