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No Speak English July 2, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
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Little-Miss-ScatterbrainA Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily-ever-after in Toronto.

The woman was not very proficient in English.

She managed to communicate with her husband, but problems arose when she shopped for groceries.

Before going to the store, she would ask her husband the correct words to use, but she often grew flustered when ordering and forgot them.   Or maybe they just flew the coop.

Anyway, one day she wanted chicken legs from the butcher. Since the words “chicken legs” had vanished into thin air, she clucked like a chicken and lifted her skirt to show her legs.

Her butcher got the message and gave her chicken legs.

Chicken-Little-PosterA few days later, she needed to buy chicken thighs.

As usual, she couldn’t recall the right words so she clucked like a chicken and lifted her skirt to point to her thighs.

The butcher understood again and gave her chicken thighs.

Over time, she acted out similar pant-oh-mines for “chicken breast” and “butt steak.”  The butcher always enjoyed their exchanges.

After several weeks of playing charades with the butcher, the woman wanted to buy pork sausages.

Sure she would be unable to figure out how to communicate this to the butcher on her own, she brought her husband to the store with her.

get-attachmentThe butcher leaned over the counter, “Good morning, Mrs. Trebek.  What can I get for you today?”

In reply, she pointed to her husband who took the cue.

He stepped up to the counter and smiled.

“My wife would like a pound of hot sausage links, please.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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Comments»

1. Jill Weatherholt - July 2, 2016

LOL! Thanks for the giggles, Nancy. I love the little chick meme!

nrhatch - July 2, 2016

Me too! Hope your day is full of giggles, Jill.

2. Val Boyko - July 2, 2016

Thanks for the chicken chuckle!!

nrhatch - July 2, 2016

My pleasure, Val. Here’s to a life overflowing with chuckles!

3. anotherday2paradise - July 2, 2016

Ha…….I love happy endings. Thanks for the chuckles, Nancy. 🙂

nrhatch - July 2, 2016

Chicks + Clucks => Chuckles!

anotherday2paradise - July 2, 2016

Great combo. 😅

4. Grannymar - July 2, 2016

Lovely to come back to a good old giggle! Life calming a little and a replacement for my laptop arrived today. Fun times.

nrhatch - July 2, 2016

Excellent! Glad your laptop arrived, GM.

5. Peyton - July 2, 2016

I wondered how you were going to get out of that spot. Great chuckle.

nrhatch - July 2, 2016

To laughter!

6. Bun Karyudo - July 3, 2016

Well, that’s a relief! 🙂

nrhatch - July 3, 2016

Exactly. We can’t have Wee Willie making a cameo appearance in the middle of the butcher shoppe.

Bun Karyudo - July 4, 2016

Absolutely not!

7. Piglet in Portugal - July 3, 2016

*laughing* I thought… noooo surely not!

nrhatch - July 3, 2016

That’s right. This blog is PG-13.

8. diannegray - July 3, 2016

Haaa = thanks for the giggle this morning, Nancy 😀

nrhatch - July 3, 2016

My pleasure, Dianne. I loved the “about face” of this joke.

9. L. Marie - July 3, 2016

Ha ha!!
Love the meme also!

nrhatch - July 3, 2016

Glad you enjoyed. That meme cracks me up. It’s egg-cellent.

10. Under the Oaks - July 4, 2016

Hahaha!!!! Oh MY!!!! Good Morning Nancy! Going to read this one to CH as soon as he gets out of bed!

nrhatch - July 4, 2016

Happy 4th, Pix! Glad to get your day off to a happy start.

11. Tammy - July 4, 2016

Funny! Thanks for keeping it clean – although I think I saw a bit of New Orleans in there

nrhatch - July 4, 2016

Haha. Well put, Tammy. Happy 4th!

12. Behind the Story - July 5, 2016

Big belly laugh! Even when I think I know where a joke is going, you give it one extra twist.

nrhatch - July 5, 2016

Yay! Big belly laughs are the best!

BTW: I tweak these jokes a bit before posting (a quick nip and tuck, a bit of spit and polish, or a line added here or there), but the general gist and twist of most aren’t mine.

13. Tiny - July 5, 2016

Oh dear! Thanks for a great chuckle, Nancy!

nrhatch - July 5, 2016

I’ll keep sharing for as long as Joe keeps up the flow of jokes!

14. Barb - July 5, 2016

OOOOOH!!! Shame on you!!! YOu know my mind would jump to the gutter before the punchline.
You’re a hoot. Love the laughter.

nrhatch - July 5, 2016

Haha! I’m sure you weren’t alone in that gutter, Barb. Hope your had a fun 4th!

15. Debra - July 7, 2016

Did not see that solution coming! You provided a hearty laugh along with some unexpected visual images! 🙂

nrhatch - July 7, 2016

That’s what I loved about this joke ~> we get to watch our mind as it races ahead to racier shores.


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