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What A Conundrum! June 11, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
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BoobsDiamond D’s brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to accommodate their ever-growing business.

In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding ~ with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

220px-Lightning_hits_treeWork on Diamond D’s progressed right up until the week before the grand re-opening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground.

After the brothel burned down, members of the congregation grew rather smug, bragging about “the power of prayer.”

“Big Jugs” (Jill Diamond), the owner/madam, overheard them bragging and got an idea.

A week later, she sued the church, the preacher, and the entire congregation in a civil action for negligence.

In the complaint, Jugs contended that the church, preacher, and congregation “caused the demise of her building and her business ~ either through direct or indirect divine actions or means.”

She claimed entitlement to both damages and punitive damages, arguing that “the church and its congregation acted with malice aforethought to destroy her business and building.”

In its answer to the complaint, the church vehemently and vociferously denied any and all responsibility or connection to the building’s demise.

170px-PuckCoverAfter reading through the plaintiff’s complaint and defendants’ answer, the astute judge gave a brief synopsis of the case at the hearing on defendant’s motion for summary judgment:

“I don’t know how I’m going to decide this motion, but it certainly presents an interesting conundrum.   From my initial review of the pleadings, it appears that we have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it’s all bullshit.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

 

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Comments»

1. Jill Weatherholt - June 11, 2016

Sounds about right. Happy Saturday, Nancy!

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

Yup. This town’s intersection of sexuality and spirituality should provide some interesting interplay, intercourse, and discourse.

2. Under the Oaks - June 11, 2016

Hahaha! Love it!

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

It’s a Win~Win. If Ms. Diamond is awarded punitive damages, the congregation can really boast about the power of prayer.

3. Kate Crimmins - June 11, 2016

Good one!

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

This should be as interesting as The Scopes Monkey Trials!

4. William D'Andrea - June 11, 2016

Comment deleted.

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

Objection, Your Honor!
Comment is irrelevant to the irreverent nature of this post.

Sustained.
Comment will be stricken from the record of this proceeding.

5. Carol Ferenc - June 11, 2016

LOL!! Well, stranger things have happened . . . maybe?

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

People are at odds with themselves any time it seems like the best way to play the hand.

6. Patricia - June 11, 2016

Makes sense to me.

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

Astute judge!

7. anotherday2paradise - June 11, 2016

Hehehe Love the summing up, Nancy. 😀

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

Glad you enjoyed the judge’s astute observations.

8. suzicate - June 11, 2016

Hahaha, what s summary! The congregation flipflopped on that one…as they say be careful what you pray for!

nrhatch - June 11, 2016

They found themselves in a tough spot, for sure.

9. diannegray - June 11, 2016

Haaa – so funny, Nancy. Love it! 😀

nrhatch - June 12, 2016

Love it when a judge shows good sense about nonsense at the outset. Makes for a more entertaining trial.

10. Bun Karyudo - June 12, 2016

Now there’s irony for you. 🙂

nrhatch - June 12, 2016

Yes! An ironic quandary ~> wanting to claim credit for haps and mishaps without being asked to pay for the privilege of doing so.

Bun Karyudo - June 12, 2016

Good way to put it. 🙂

11. Val Boyko - June 12, 2016

Touchee 😇

nrhatch - June 12, 2016

Ms. Diamond knows when it’s time to cash in her chips ~ she understands people’s motivations and machinations. Go Jill!

12. Tiny - June 12, 2016

Haha, that was astute indeed!

nrhatch - June 13, 2016

Love a judge who cuts through the B.S. with one swift synopsis.

13. Debra - June 12, 2016

Truth, ethics, beliefs, and integrity all get a little “bendy” at times! 🙂

nrhatch - June 13, 2016

We are masters at twisting the facts to align with our “truth.”

14. livelytwist - June 17, 2016

Lol. Heard this joke in church last Thursday! 😄

nrhatch - June 17, 2016

It’s making the rounds!


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