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The Donald As CEO . . . May 21, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

Donald-DuckaUnited Steel Associates (U.S.A.), feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.

Let’s call him . . . The Donald.

The Donald was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

Donald-Duck-BaseballOn a tour of the facilities, Donald noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

The Donald asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”

Surprised, the young man said, “$400 a week. Why?”

Donald said, “Wait right here.”

Donald-Duck-MadThe Donald stormed off to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.  You’re fired!”

Feeling pretty good about himself The Donald looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”

From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Have you ever worked for someone like The Donald . . . who reacted before getting the facts and thinking things through?


1. Sixeighty - May 21, 2016

Yesterday I met someone who had a badge labelling him as ‘assistant manager.’ He was a young guy, possibly around my age or a little younger and he was running a fast food chain.

Now, I spotted that he seemed a little under staffed, a little nervous and his mask of confidence was slipping a little as the scene continued.

My wife happened to notice that his hands where shaking and mentioned that he was probably an outside hire.

See this is my big gripe.
Why do companies hire people from the outside for higher ups?

I get it, you know finances, you know how to handle people. That’s fine. But if you want to effectively captain the ship . . . KNOW THE DAMM SHIP. You cannot effectively run a ship without prior knowledge of staff, times of operation, and just generally knowing what to do …

It’s unfair to the people who could do the job effectively…

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

At least your nervous Nellie was the “assistant manager” and NOT the head honcho.

The Donald as VEEP is scary enough, but the thought of him leading the charge sends shivers down my timbers!

Sixeighty - May 21, 2016

Did you read that accountants report?

Apparently he turned 100 mill into 2billion, however had he just left it in an isa he would be sitting on 8 billion…

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

Hah! There’s something to be said for adopting a laissez-faire approach to personal finance.

2. Rainee - May 21, 2016

Have to share this one on Facebook thanks Nancy 🙂

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

Share away! I got this from an e-mail and edited it a bit . . . by naming the CEO “The Donald” and changing the name of the steel company.

Rainee - May 22, 2016

My hubby enjoyed to too!

nrhatch - May 23, 2016

Yay! So did BFF.

3. Kate Crimmins - May 21, 2016

Your question should have been, “Has someone worked for a person who didn’t react without the facts!” I confess that even I might have done it on occasion….but rarely. Mostly when I see a dead mouse and none of the cats confess.

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

But I bet YOU don’t “ax” first and ask questions later.

4. Tippy Gnu - May 21, 2016

As a retired postal employee, I can say I worked for many managers like that. They were often far more interested in showing off their authority, or covering their butts, than in gathering facts and patiently reflecting.

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

Yup x 3! It’s an EGO thing.

It’s tiring and trying to deal with people who fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.

5. Ally Bean - May 21, 2016

i worked for a man once who yelled at me because I put a paperclip on wrong on one document. He was a wacko who needed to appear to be in control all the time. His ego and temper, which you’d hope would be his downfall, seemed to keep him afloat and in charge. I see the same attitude and behaviors in The Donald. I don’t like what I see. At all.

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

OMG! I worked for THAT guy.

“Paper clips crease the paper. Paper creases will lower your chances of prevailing on the underlying motion in court . . . no matter how brilliant your brief.”

“Um . . . okay.”

“Always fold a post-it over the corner of the document and clip the paper clip to it, not the document.”

“Um . . . okay.”

“And before every meeting go into the conference room to ensure that the blinds are all 100% horizontal with the window sill and evenly spaced.”

“Um . . . okay.”

“And whenever your secretary types an envelope, make sure that the address is 100% horizontal to the bottom of the envelope. If the address is askew, you will also lose in court.”

“Okay. I got it.” . . . and YOU need to get a life.

Ally Bean - May 21, 2016

You’re saying exactly what he’d say to me, although the paperclip thing was his raison d’être. He was so insecure about his work product, and his place in the law firm– and his whole life, now that I think about it. ;-(

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

I actually developed a degree of affection for this guy. Even if his reasoning missed the mark for me.

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

And, yes, I don’t care for The Donald’s attitude or behavior. It’s coarse, of course. Even Mr. Ed had better manners.

Ally Bean - May 21, 2016

I’d vote for Mr. Ed.

“People go yakety-yak a streak, and waste your time of day. But Mr. Ed will never speak unless he has something to say.”

Now that’s a good candidate, imho.

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

Yes! Better to vote for a horse . . . than a horse’s ass!

6. Behind the Story - May 21, 2016

Love your editing of this little piece. I shared it on Facebook.

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

Thanks, Nicki! The editing came about as after I added the images of Donald Duck which made me quack up . . . especially when I realized I could call the CEO “The Donald.”

The company’s name change took effect without fanfare.

7. Tiny - May 21, 2016

This reminds me of someone who will need to eat so much pizza that he cannot open his mouth!

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

That’s an idea! 💡

8. diannegray - May 21, 2016

I had a big giggle at this, Nancy because it is SO close to something that happened to me. When I was temping, the bosses assistant came up to me one afternoon and told me I was fired. I left the building and spent a miserable night at home and then went back the next day to pick up my stuff. The boss called me into his office and said it was a mistake – he’d asked his assistant to fire the temp and there were two of us. The department had spent a load of money training me to do the yearly financials which were due in two weeks and I was now the only one who could do it. I was very nice when I told him to shove his stinking job. As fate has it, I then stepped into the best job I’ve ever had which a put me on the path to permanency and promotion. Its amazing how the universe can steer us like that 😀

nrhatch - May 21, 2016

Cool steering by the Universe, Dianne! When we accept the “what is” (instead of groaning and moaning to anyone who will listen), we are more open to possibilities as they present themselves.

Glad you landed in a better position after that “snafu.”

9. Debra - May 21, 2016

I love a story when someone misjudged and negatively labeled comes out on top! Great little lesson!

nrhatch - May 22, 2016

Yes! Go Dominoes . . . thanks for knocking The Donald off his High Horse!

10. Bun Karyudo - May 22, 2016

That was a great joke. Luckily, there aren’t any real people called Donald that crass, cruel and ignorant, right? 🙂

nrhatch - May 22, 2016

Exactly right. No real self-important “The Donald” would ever be accused of being crass, cruel or ignorant . . . except, maybe, for the “The Donald” who occasionally appears on TV.

But he’s not real, right?

Bun Karyudo - May 22, 2016

Just a bad dream, surely? 🙂

nrhatch - May 23, 2016

Let’s hope that “bad dream” doesn’t turn into a nightmare.

11. suzicate - May 23, 2016

Bwahaha, bet he never got a tip like that!

nrhatch - May 23, 2016

I know! I want a job like that!

12. Carol Ferenc - May 23, 2016

LOL . . . I do see a similarity between Donald and The Donald. Both are capable of FOWL temper tantrums.

nrhatch - May 23, 2016

LOL! Good one, Carol. As soon as I decided to use Donald to illustrate, “The Donald” flew into view.

13. Val Boyko - May 25, 2016

SO good Nancy!!

nrhatch - May 25, 2016

Glad you enjoyed, Val.

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