OUCH!!! April 23, 2016
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Less IS More.trackback
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be OK, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”
“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want.”
The man perks up as he begins to imagine the possibilities.
The doctor continues, “Since you’ve been married for over 40 years, this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five-incher before and get a nine-incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to only invest in a five-incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”
“Yes I have,” says the man.
“And has she helped you make a decision?”
“Yes she has,” says the man.
“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.
“We’re getting granite counter tops.”
Aah . . . that’s better!
Source: E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)
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LOL! Thanks for the chuckle, Nancy!
My pleasure, Jill! Happy Saturday!
What a sensible woman 😆
After 40 years of marriage, she’s decided what happens in the kitchen matters more than what happens in the bedroom.
I’m pretty sure she’s not alone 😐
Yup. There is an inverse relationship between sex and marriage ~ the longer the marriage, the less frequent the sex.
Perhaps it’s all part of the law of diminishing marginal utility?
Very funny – great laugh on a cloudy Saturday morning. 🙂
Cloudy with a chance of Chuckles!
🙂
LOL! LOL! Val said it for me!!!
I burst out laughing when I got to the punchline . . . he didn’t stand a chance against his wife of 40 years.
Wise decision!
Exactly. They have to eat 3x a day!
I’m betting the other is less than 3x a year.
You might win that bet!
Great way to start my Saturday! Too funny!
So glad you got a kick out of “their” decision.
She’s got her priorities right!
I got a kick out of this . . . but I think I would let BFF decide how to spend the $9000.
He might prefer a home theater over granite counter tops. 😀
So true . . . it’s supposed to be HIS decision. LOL!
Hehe, it’s all about priorities! 😉
And how those priorities change over time!
Thanks for today’s chuckle!
My pleasure. Glad Joe sent me this. I burst out laughing when I got to the punchline.
Ha,ha,ha!! After 40 years, priorities change!
Don’t they!
I love granite counter tops too. 😀
Haha! At this point, any kitchen would be nice, right?
Just about. I’m being very patient though. 🙄
You are!
Haaaa! I wasn’t expecting that ending, Nancy. Huge laugh! 😀
Granite counter tops were the farthest thing from my mind.
That was a practical decision!! And I laughed so my tummy hurts 😁
Yay! Glad you enjoyed.
Ouch! LOL