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OUCH!!! April 23, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Less IS More.

Woodstock-&-Snoopy3A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.  The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be OK, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”

IMGP1786b“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want.”

The man perks up as he begins to imagine the possibilities.

The doctor continues, “Since you’ve been married for over 40 years, this is something you should discuss with your wife.  If you had a five-incher before and get a nine-incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to only invest in a five-incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

Mickey-and-Minnie-kissThe doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”

“Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?”

“Yes she has,” says the man.

“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite counter tops.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)


1. Jill Weatherholt - April 23, 2016

LOL! Thanks for the chuckle, Nancy!

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

My pleasure, Jill! Happy Saturday!

2. Val Boyko - April 23, 2016

What a sensible woman 😆

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

After 40 years of marriage, she’s decided what happens in the kitchen matters more than what happens in the bedroom.

Val Boyko - April 23, 2016

I’m pretty sure she’s not alone 😐

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

Yup. There is an inverse relationship between sex and marriage ~ the longer the marriage, the less frequent the sex.

Perhaps it’s all part of the law of diminishing marginal utility?

3. roughwighting - April 23, 2016

Very funny – great laugh on a cloudy Saturday morning. 🙂

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

Cloudy with a chance of Chuckles!

roughwighting - April 23, 2016


4. Under the Oaks - April 23, 2016

LOL! LOL! Val said it for me!!!

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

I burst out laughing when I got to the punchline . . . he didn’t stand a chance against his wife of 40 years.

5. Kate Crimmins - April 23, 2016

Wise decision!

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

Exactly. They have to eat 3x a day!

Kate Crimmins - April 23, 2016

I’m betting the other is less than 3x a year.

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

You might win that bet!

6. Encore Voyage - April 23, 2016

Great way to start my Saturday! Too funny!

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

So glad you got a kick out of “their” decision.

7. Carol Ferenc - April 23, 2016

She’s got her priorities right!

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

I got a kick out of this . . . but I think I would let BFF decide how to spend the $9000.

He might prefer a home theater over granite counter tops. 😀

Carol Ferenc - April 24, 2016

So true . . . it’s supposed to be HIS decision. LOL!

8. Barb - April 23, 2016

Hehe, it’s all about priorities! 😉

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

And how those priorities change over time!

9. suzicate - April 23, 2016

Thanks for today’s chuckle!

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

My pleasure. Glad Joe sent me this. I burst out laughing when I got to the punchline.

10. brickhousechick - April 23, 2016

Ha,ha,ha!! After 40 years, priorities change!

nrhatch - April 23, 2016

Don’t they!

11. anotherday2paradise - April 24, 2016

I love granite counter tops too. 😀

nrhatch - April 24, 2016

Haha! At this point, any kitchen would be nice, right?

anotherday2paradise - April 24, 2016

Just about. I’m being very patient though. 🙄

nrhatch - April 25, 2016

You are!

12. diannegray - April 24, 2016

Haaaa! I wasn’t expecting that ending, Nancy. Huge laugh! 😀

nrhatch - April 25, 2016

Granite counter tops were the farthest thing from my mind.

13. Tiny - April 24, 2016

That was a practical decision!! And I laughed so my tummy hurts 😁

nrhatch - April 25, 2016

Yay! Glad you enjoyed.

14. Anne Lene @ MinimalistSometimes - April 25, 2016

Ouch! LOL

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