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Communication Is Key March 26, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.
37 comments

170px-PuckCoverA judge, interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce, asks, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”

“About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“Concrete, brick, and mortar.”

“I mean,” he continued, “what are your relations like?”

Tiggers-R-Us“I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband’s parents.  They’re all good folk.”

The judge took a deep breath and asked, “Do you have a real grudge?”

“No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don’t have a car.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”

Woodstock-&-Snoopy2“Yes, my son and daughter both have stereo sets. We don’t like the music – all that hip hop and rap tap – but we can’t seem to do anything about it.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”

“Yes, every morning.”

“Every morning?”

“Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee.”

The judge asked, “Is your husband a nagger?”

“Oh, hell no, he’s as white as you and me!”

Little-Miss-ScatterbrainFinally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why in hell do you want a divorce?

“I don’t want a divorce.  I’ve never wanted a divorce, my husband does. The damn fool says he can’t communicate with me.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)