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Sexercise For Seniors! February 13, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
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Woodstock-&-Snoopy3A doctor requested a 78-year-old man to provide a sperm sample as part of his annual exam.

“Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the man returned and gave the doctor the jar which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

“What happened?”

‘Well, doc, it’s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help.
She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.”

The doctor nodded, “Well, you gave it your best shot.”

The old man shook his head.  “Yep.  We even called Betty, the lady next door, and she tried too.”

“You asked your neighbor to help?!”

Snoopy2“Yep.  She tried with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing!  None of us could get the damn jar open!”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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Comments»

1. brickhousechick - February 13, 2016

I love the jokes you post on here, Nancy! This was the perfect chuckle for a Saturday morning. 🙂

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

Morning, Maria!

Happy (almost) Valentine’s Day ~ hope it’s full of sweet surprises!

2. Under the Oaks - February 13, 2016

Hahaha! Funny start to this cold Saturday!

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

I just checked your 10 day forecast . . . brrr! They are predicting temps in the 60’s later this week. Hang in there.

3. Hariod Brawn - February 13, 2016

I sensed I was being led up a delicious gum tree Nancy, but it was worth it. Sorry not to have been around these past two weeks – the phones and internet have been down in my village for twelve whole days!

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

That’s challenging! I have tried not to be “addicted” to getting on line every day . . . but I don’t miss many.

Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤ ❤ ❤

Hariod Brawn - February 13, 2016

Time zones Nancy! It’s not ’til tomorrow! Anyhow, in advance of that, or is it now belatedly? – ❤ ❤ ❤

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

It’s tomorrow here too . . . so consider it a prospective perspective!

4. Jill Weatherholt - February 13, 2016

Ha ha! That’s for the Saturday laugh, Nancy!

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

My pleasure!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Derek. ❤ ❤ ❤

Jill Weatherholt - February 13, 2016

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and BFF!

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

Thanks! Here’s to sweet surprises!

5. You Were Born To Succeed - February 13, 2016

Corny but funny. Happy Valentine’s day!

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

Not exactly highbrow humor, eh? 🙄

Happy a Happy ❤ ❤ ❤ Day!

6. Carol Ferenc - February 13, 2016

LOL!! Now I’ve really got an image in my head 🙂

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

Yes. This does conjure up a few, um, images! :mrgreen:

Happy Valentine’s to you! ❤ ❤ ❤

Carol Ferenc - February 13, 2016

And to you also, Nancy!

7. reocochran - February 13, 2016

Oh my goodness, Nancy. I sometimes miss you due to being heavy work hours. I need to put you at the top of my “To Do” reading list! You always help me to feel happier and lighter. Thank you. Happy Heart Day to you, dear, yet distant friend! ha ha! 🙂

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

Thanks, Robin ~ here’s to feeling happier and lighter!
Happy ❤ ❤ ❤ Day to you!

8. colonialist - February 13, 2016

Very confusing if you have to get it off before you can get it off …

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

Perfect, Col!

9. Val Boyko - February 13, 2016

I thought something must be up
when Betty appeared and it still didn’t work.
👀

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

Life is full of challenges! 😀

Happy Valentine’s Day, Val! ❤ ❤ ❤

Val Boyko - February 13, 2016

Its clear that as we get older more surprises await! Happy Valentine’s Day Nancy.
… I imagine it will be a happy day with some chocolate 🎈

nrhatch - February 13, 2016

I expect you’re right! ❤

We have no plans tomorrow but lots of FUN stuff the rest of the week ~ an alumni cocktail party at the Beach House in Naples, a sunset hike and campfire (with dessert!) at a local preserve, and a show at the Van Wezel ~ 107 Years of Broadway.

So tomorrow maybe we'll just rest up and eat copious amounts of chocolate.

10. L. Marie - February 14, 2016

Just in time for Valentine’s Day (which is when I’m reading it).

nrhatch - February 14, 2016

Happy Valentine’s Day, Linda. ❤ ❤ ❤

11. diannegray - February 14, 2016

A great giggle, Nancy! I love your stories 😀

nrhatch - February 14, 2016

Thanks, Dianne! I love sharing smiles via Silly Saturday posts.

12. Eileen - February 14, 2016

Love this. While no one has asked for semen, my husband and i had a two stooges act going getting a specimen jar open and filled last week when i broke my right shoulder in 3 places. no one seems to consider the new limits that come with age and injury. The surgeon showed great concern when he had to warn me i will not have full enough range to reach upper cabinets. I laughed because i’m barely 5 ft, so i’ve never reached the upper cabinets and would be afraid to look in them never the less reach into one !

nrhatch - February 14, 2016

OUCH! Sorry to hear you broke your shoulder, Eileen ~ hope you heal well in good time.

Sounds like your sense of humor is still locked and loaded. That is ALWAYS a positive sign, apt to encourage a speedy recovery.

Like you, upper cabinets have always been a bit out of reach for me ~ I now keep a step stool handy for when BFF isn’t around..

13. Debra - February 16, 2016

I don’t know where you find these jokes! This is too funny!

nrhatch - February 16, 2016

Yay! Glad you enjoyed. As long as Joe keeps sending them . . . I’ll keep sharing the smiles.

14. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? - February 16, 2016

hahahahahahaha! That was greatness!

nrhatch - February 16, 2016

I love it when the punchline comes from an unexpected direction.


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