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I’m Dying Here . . . January 9, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.
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250px-New_Orleans_City_of_Old_Romance_and_New_Opportunity_Crop_p_23_MoneybagsA lady died in January.  Her credit card company billed her for the annual service fee in February.

In March and April, the bank added late fees and interest to the charge.  The balance, which had been $0.00 when she died, now approached $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the bank.  “Hi.  I’m calling to let you know my aunt died in January.”

After some back and forth, the bank’s representative said, “I’m sorry, but the account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

The nephew chuckled,”Maybe you should turn it over to collections.”

Missing the humor, the bank rep said, “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”

170px-Suushi_Yurei“So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

“Either report her account to the fraud division or report her to the credit bureau.  Maybe both!”

“Do you think God will be mad at her?”

“Excuse me?

“Did you get what I was telling you – the part about her being dead?”

“Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.”

Supervisor gets on the phone.

The nephew says, “I’m calling to tell you, the account holder died back in January with a $0 balance.”

“The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.”

170px-PuckCover“You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

“(Stammer) Are you her lawyer?”

“No, I’m her nephew.”

“Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

“Sure.  What’s your fax #?”

After the bank gets the fax:  “Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”

“Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won’t care.”

“Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.”

“No doubt.  Would you like her new billing address?”

“Sure. That might help.”

Hobbes“Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69GR.”

“Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

“Yup.  What do you do with dead people on your planet??”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.) 

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Comments»

1. momentswithmillie - January 9, 2016

This is hysterical…wow!

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

Life is full of absurdity ~ easy to deal with when our sense of humor is in Locked and Loaded position.

2. Jill Weatherholt - January 9, 2016

That’s hilarious, Nancy!

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

And the scary thing . . . many of these institutional minions (and morons) have families of their own! They are out there. And they are breeding!

3. anotherday2paradise - January 9, 2016

Hahaha. Thanks for the laugh, Nancy. 😄

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

Laughter doesn’t solve our problems . . . but it helps us cope! Have a wonderful day full of mirth.

4. Under the Oaks - January 9, 2016

Funny! I went through something similar when my Mom died. It was not to be believed.
Good Morning!

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

I had a feeling that many here could relate to the nonsensical nature of this exchange. Bureaucracy at its best is the worst!

5. Hariod Brawn - January 9, 2016

Happens a lot here in England – even with governmental departments.

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

Government departments in the US used to be the worst. Now, banks and other utilities give government minions a run for the money when it comes to the “Witless of the Week” awards.

6. mrsugarbears - January 9, 2016

I had a three month battle with the local phone company last fall after my dad died. I finally gave up and just paid the three months 😁

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

It’s hard enough to deal with the death of a loved one without also having to beat our heads against brick walls due to institutional arrogance and stupidity.

“HELLO?! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW???”

Sorry you had to deal with unhearing minions while coping with your dad’s death. Your posts about your dad, the dock, the boat, etc., revealed your bond with him.

7. Kate Crimmins - January 9, 2016

Argh! I the executor for my mother when she died in 86. I had some interesting (and humorous after the fact) experiences that aren’t too different.

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

I give the nephew high marks for not losing his sense of humor during this battle of wits with the bank.

8. Carol Ferenc - January 9, 2016

Hilarious! Oh, to be as quick-witted as the nephew!

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

it’s great when a quick “come back” comes quickly. See Patricia’s comment at #9 ~ she’s a pro!!!

9. Patricia - January 9, 2016

When my brother died I called to close an account and was told only the account holder could do this. I said he couldn’t do it because he was dead and then was told they would contact him for his permission. I told them if they did get to speak to him to tell him his sister was not happy with the mess he left and he should call her. I never heard from him but the account did get closed.

nrhatch - January 9, 2016

You rock! What a great way to deal with their absurd position.

10. Val Boyko - January 9, 2016

Totally absurd … And believable 🙃

nrhatch - January 10, 2016

Yes & yes.

11. Debra - January 9, 2016

I absolutely believe this could be a true story! I think that with so many of the customer service connections being overseas, the likelihood of someone on the other end completely missing the point is entirely believable. I’d like to see how large that bill would eventually become in accrued fees! Good luck collecting! 🙂

nrhatch - January 10, 2016

Whenever I get GOOD customer service these days, I’m surprised . . . and pleased. Because it doesn’t happen often.

12. diannegray - January 11, 2016

Bureaucracy at it’s finest, Nancy!:D

nrhatch - January 11, 2016

Exactly!

13. L. Marie - January 11, 2016

Ha ha! Sad but true.

nrhatch - January 11, 2016

No one seems to want to argue that this would never happen. 😛

Anne Lene @ MinimalistSometimes - January 13, 2016

Off course not 😉 that’s because this does happen! Now fortunately we have not quite come this “far” in Norway (yet)… When I have dealt with stuff when people have passed away, I’ve had nothing but great help! No morons in sight 😉

nrhatch - January 13, 2016

Glad to hear that “sanity reigns” in Norway, Anne. Common sense is not always so common.

14. Eileen - January 16, 2016

I really think humans are devolving. What’s even scarier is that animals seem to be getting smarter and smarter. I’m going to get a fake fur coat. I want to be on the winning side.

nrhatch - January 16, 2016

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