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The Ephemeral Grin of the Cheshire Cat January 7, 2016

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Life Balance, People.

220px-AdvertYoungsTheHatterVictorianEraBridgeportCTI enjoy being around people who are vibrant, upbeat, and happy.

Who look at the positives at least as long as the negatives.

Who can engage in intelligent conversation.

And silly banter.

In the same laugh-riddled breath.

Without getting tangled up in pointless linguistic briars.

Who don’t stress and obsess about this, that, and the other thing.

Or even nothing at all.

* Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. ~  Unknown

Cheshire_Cat_TennielI tend to avoid those who choose to play the part of “perpetual victim.”

Without ever attempting to stand on their own four feet.

Or who try to manipulate me with strategic weapons (e.g., guilt, fear, carrots, or compliments).

While wearing insincere grins.

As ephemeral as that worn by the Cheshire Cat.

Before it vanished into thin air.

* Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. ~ Alexander Pope

Aah . . . that’s better!



1. Jill Weatherholt - January 7, 2016

Ugh…the “perpetual victim” is so draining.

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Instead of asking “What’s wrong?” (and getting an earful), we can ask . . . “What’s RIGHT in your life?” 🙄

Hemangini - January 7, 2016

but whoever does that anymore? Negatives are so easy to look at and to remember!! it’s psychologically proved that people tend to dive toward negative feelings/emotions more then happy ones :/

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Negative Nellie might become Positive Pollyanna if we refuse to give her positive reinforcement when she shares her daily gripe.

Carol Ferenc - January 7, 2016

Love this idea, Nancy. How on earth do you deal with perpetual victim otherwise?

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

It’s tricky . . . I expect most don’t realize how negative they sound as they tick off their litany of complaints.

If they won’t take the hint ~> TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD!!!

2. Under the Oaks - January 7, 2016

What Jill said… 🙂 And people who constantly need reassurance of how wonderful they are in every way… also draining.

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Yes! Including those who use self-deprecating remarks as bait while angling for compliments.

“I can’t never do nothing right.”
“That’s not true. You’re great at, er, . . . you can, um, . . .”
“Now I feel even worse.”
“Give me a minute. Wait. I’ve got it! You tie your shoes like a pro!”
“THANKS!” (Beaming)

3. anotherday2paradise - January 7, 2016

Perfect, Nancy. Sometimes these people just can’t be avoided, but forewarned is forearmed. 🙂

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Yup. When Eeyore’s a neighbor, co-worker, or family member, it’s hard to avoid them. When cornered, I try to change the subject to something a bit more positive.

Sometimes it works. Usually it doesn’t. 🙄

4. Kate Crimmins - January 7, 2016

Right now I’m staying away from anyone discussing politics. That is a rabbit hole of huge proportions and unlikely to be upbeat. The advantage of getting older is that you recognize all the negativity (and passive aggressiveness) much, much faster and move on quickly. Yay!

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Me too! I’m not giving Tweedledum or Tweedledee free airplay.

Kate Crimmins - January 7, 2016

That’s really a slam on Tweedledum and Tweedledee who may be far brighter.

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

You’re right! 😀

5. L. Marie - January 7, 2016

Humor is such a blessing!

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Yes!!! “A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.” ~ William Arthur Ward

6. BunKaryudo - January 7, 2016

Being manipulated with strategic weapons isn’t too bad. It’s being manipulated with actual weapons that I don’t like. (If Uncle Fred waves that AK-47 in my face again, I don’t know what I’ll do.)

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Good point! Now . . . please step aside while I test my grenade launcher.

7. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? - January 7, 2016

I prefer those types of people too! Life is so much better with laughter!

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Hear! Hear!

8. NancyTex - January 7, 2016

The one blessing of being so overworked and overstretched these days is that I have zero time to worry about those people. I think they’d literally have to hit me over the head with a bag of their neediness for me to even notice. 🙂

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

That’s the spirit! Always look on the bright side. :mrgreen:

9. http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com - January 7, 2016

Exactly! Life is too short to spend it surrounded by negativity. Laughter is a saving grace. As the old saying goes: “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.”

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

People used to be reluctant to air their challenges ~ downplaying troubles was the norm. Now, it seems to be a badge of honor to see who has the biggest “hangnail.”

I blame Facebook! 😎

10. Behind the Story - January 7, 2016

Yesterday I drove to the independent bookstore in town to buy a 2016 calendar. The sign in the window said, “Only a few left.” I crossed my fingers, hoping at least one of them would be beautiful or meaningful. A calendar of Hokusai prints took my eye. I like Japanese wood prints, but I’ve have them before–more than once. I turned the wire carousel, and there it was: an Alice in Wonderland calendar. It’s hanging on my wall now, and the Cheshire Cat is on the first page, smiling his ephemeral smile. On him, it’s funny.

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been around my seven-year-old grandson. What a delight! Using your words, he’s vibrant, upbeat, and happy.

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

That sounds like a perfect calendar . . . and your vibrant, upbeat, and happy grandson = a great companion!

Happy New Year!

11. Val Boyko - January 7, 2016

Wondering if you were looking in the mirror as you wrote this!
Or maybe mine … 😉

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

For which description? The first part . . . or the second? :mrgreen:

Val Boyko - January 8, 2016

Great question Nancy 😉

nrhatch - January 8, 2016

That’s often what life is about ~> asking the right questions and seeing where they lead as the path unfolds before us.

12. Tiny - January 7, 2016

Wow! I think we like to be around the same person, and stay away from the same ‘cat’ one too. I know nothing worse than a manipulator with that two-faced grin.

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Yay! Birds of a feather flock together!

I’ve known a few master manipulators who are tiresome in the extreme. Even when we see what they’re doing, they can be difficult to sidestep. But with practice anything’s possible. 🙄

13. Ruth - January 7, 2016

Love your positivity as the new year begins!

nrhatch - January 7, 2016

Thanks, Ruth! Happiness comes first to those who are already smiling. Enjoy that cake . . . it looks FAB!

14. diannegray - January 8, 2016

I love those two quotes, Nancy. I surround myself with positive people. When they’re going through trials and tribulations I can snap them back into gear – and vise versa. Those who constanly complain irk me to tears 😀

nrhatch - January 8, 2016

Exactly! All of us are dealt a crappy hand from time to time. We learn to do what we can, with what we have, where we are.

It’s no fun to play with someone who wants to stop the game every few minutes to complain about their crappy hand.

I heard something funny last night. Friends saw a family reunion marching around with matching t-shirts on New Year’s Eve: ESBU


Everyone Sucks But Us! :mrgreen:

diannegray - January 8, 2016

I want one of those t-shirts! 😉

nrhatch - January 8, 2016

Me too! Let’s start an ESBU chapter. 😎

15. Debra - January 9, 2016

I really limit my negativity intake, too, Nancy! I have enough work just to keep my own emotions balanced. I can’t take on the complaints of others. I like the ESBU slogan! LOL! Count me in!

nrhatch - January 10, 2016

I feel the same, Debra. Sometimes when we’re just managing to keep our “head above water” we don’t benefit from being around those who expect us to bail out their boats too!

That ESBU slogan cracked me up . . . even if it fosters an US vs. THEM attitude.

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