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Just Take Two November 28, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.
37 comments

Woodstock-&-Snoopy3Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”

220px--Lena_Horne_conserves_fuel_(gas).-,_ca._1941_-_ca._1945_-_NARA_-_535820The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”

“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Plan A Staycation November 25, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Sustainable Living, Travel & Leisure.
48 comments

AirplaneInstead of taking out a second mortgage to travel halfway round the world on a gas guzzling jumbo jet (AFTER a heated argument with TSA agents about what constitutes unreasonable search and seizure), consider playing tourist in your own town.  Staycations can be a fun and budget-friendly way to explore the beauty of your own backyard.

Plus, you don’t have to pack, unpack, or endure TSA pat downs by Frisky McFrisk.

Not sure what to do?  You could . . .

* Seek out local tourist attractions, walking ghost tours, or cultural events.
* Catch up on reading or take a class.
* Try a local ethnic restaurant.

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* Hold a family talent show . . . with prizes!
* Pursue an old hobby or a new interest.
* Plant a backyard garden (or hang out in a hammock).

Water lilies
* Take tap-dancing or limbo lessons.
* Dust off your accordion and perform at an “open mike” night.
* Snap shots on a nature walk.

Reflections
* Take a picnic to the park to explore scenic vistas.
* Take your bike for a spin around a lake.
* Play Scram Scrabble or charades.

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* Volunteer for a favorite cause or help with a friend’s project.
* Watch movies. Pop popcorn.
* Build a snowman.

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Aah . . . that’s better!

Have you ever “spent your vacation” at home?  Did it feel like summer break as a kid . . . with late nights and lazy mornings?

Does the idea of a Staycation hold any appeal?

Beyond Thought November 23, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Life Balance, Meditation, Mindfulness, Nature.
44 comments

Thoughts often pull us out of the Now, causing us to become distracted and discontent.

Unburdened by a steady stream of chatter, we experience life without a filter ~ awake, aware, alert, at ease.

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Nature helps me shift from thinking, with its perpetual analysis, judging, and weighing, to “just being” ~> sensing sights, sounds, and smells.

Until . . . thoughts creep in on padded paws and begin to negate the state I’m trying to embrace by cluttering up the space with words.

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Rather than following these passing thoughts, I allow each to drift away, and return my attention to “just being” with the wind and the waves.  Listening to life’s heartbeat.

Content again (for now), my mind settles down.

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The waterfall flows.  The clouds part.  The sun shines.  As a detached observer, I watch the Eternal Now unfold without feeling the need to steer . . .

Here I am.
Alive. Awake. Aware.
Watching the “what is” as it is.
Allowing it to be.

Beyond thought.

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Aah . . . that’s better!

Attempting to understand consciousness with your mind is like trying to illuminate the sun with a candle. ~ White Fire, Mooji

Drinking And Golf November 21, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
49 comments

The-Pink-PantherA man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

Golf-Ball“Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?

Mickey-OK“That’s okay. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

The Flying Monkey November 19, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
40 comments

2014-11-17 12-05-45_0022Once upon a place and time, a monkey flew through the jungle, clinging and swinging from vine to vine.

Ignorant of his true nature, he clung to the belief that he could fly only when swinging and clinging from one vine to the next.

He swung as he clung and clung as he swung.

Afraid to “let go.”

Until the day he woke up and remembered who he was.

No longer attached to the vines and entwined beliefs that had held him back, he found his wings and soared.

FlyLike a flying monkey, the Mind swings from thought to thought until we wake up and “let go.”

No longer attached to stories about the past or future fears, we fly through the Eternal Now.

And live happily ever after on a moment by moment basis.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Beneath The Breeze November 17, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Magick & Mystery, Music & Dance, Nature, Poetry.
45 comments

_0001cOne night, I saw beneath the breeze

Beyond the leaves
To an ocean of shimmering cells within

Another world revealed

Nothing stagnant
Everything vibrant and alive

Awake and aware

Dancing to the beat of the Eternal Now

Aah . . . that’s better!

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

~ Lao Tzu

Need Help? November 14, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Mindfulness.
48 comments

TimonAs Sam was driving home this week, he started worrying about all the stuff going on in his life, and the lives of family and friends.

Then he began worrying about what’s happening in Washington, Moscow, Ukraine, Paris, and the Middle East.

Then he started thinking about Hillary, Jeb, Trump, Fox News, and how America is so troubled.

As he turned the corner, he saw a yard sign that said:

NEED HELP? CALL JESUS: 1-800-555-3787

Out of curiosity and desperation, he called . . .

2015-08-11 13-19-55_0008aJesus showed up an hour later.

With his lawn mower.

Aah . . . that’s better!

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Worry is a habit . . . an exhausting, energy draining habit.

Like a rocking chair, it gets you nowhere.

The sun will set without thy assistance. ~ The Talmud

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Carlos Castaneda

Love and Gratitude November 11, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
28 comments

IMGP1472aWhen life seems too iffy (and precarious) or I feel off balance (and out of sorts), the easiest way for me to move from shifting sands of doubt to being grounded in the Here and Now is to meditate on two words . . .

Love and Gratitude

In that space, I stop rowing and put down the oars.

Peace surfaces.
Life flows.

And I flow with it . . .

As the path unfolds before me.
Here, Now.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Loving What Is November 9, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness.
38 comments

2014-11-22 12-34-09_0013Loving What Is by Byron Katie (2002) focuses on letting go of toxic thoughts that cause unnecessary suffering.

As we become aware of our “inner spin doctor” (who creates turmoil with stories based on lies and half truths), we learn to let go of the spin.

We begin to accept the “what is” as it is.

We let go of fears and doubts and allow peace to surface.

We stop resisting reality and learn to “go with the flow” of the present moment as the path unfolds before us.

Here, Now.

Aah . . . that’s better!

We carry around so many memories, intentions, and concepts in the pockets of the mind.  Keep emptying your pockets.  ~ Writing on Water, Mooji

Related post:  Pondering ~ Accepting What Is (Find Your Middle Ground)

A Royal Pain In The Ass November 7, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Humor, Joke.
39 comments

Once upon a time a king wanted to go fishing.  He called the royal weather forecaster and asked for the weather forecast covering the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.

So the king went fishing.

Shrek-&-Donkey

On the way, he met a farmer on his donkey.

Upon seeing the king the farmer said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area.”

The king’s response was polite but firm.

“I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way.”

Eeyore-under-a-raincloudA short time later torrential rain fell from the sky.

The King got soaked!

So did the farmer and his donkey.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once!

Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high-paying role of royal forecaster.

The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, I know it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey.

And so began the practice of hiring asses to work in government and
occupy its highest and most influential positions.

zebras

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)