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Quick Quiz: Retirement July 25, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Travel & Leisure.
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grumpy_thinkingHere’s a Quick Quiz about Retirement.  See how many you get right:

1. When is a retiree’s bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

2. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.

3. Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

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4. What do retirees call a long lunch?
A. Normal.

5. Why don’t retirees clean out the basement, attic or garage?
A. If they do, their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

6. What do retirees call someone who refuses to retire?
A. NUTS!

7. What do retirees consider formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.

8. What do retirees do all week?
A. Monday to Friday, nothing. Saturday & Sunday, they rest.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  E-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

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Comments»

1. 2e0mca - July 25, 2015

Thanks for the Heads-up… with retirement looming, I always wondered what I was going to do 😉

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

We haven’t officially “retired” yet, but during this “extended sabbatical” we have managed to fill our days in a myriad of ways ~ never bored and never enough time to “do it all.”

2. Hariod Brawn - July 25, 2015

Formal attire = tied shoes. 😄

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

That’s my favorite too, Hariod! :mrgreen:

3. Jill Weatherholt - July 25, 2015

I loved this, Nancy. Although retirement is a long way off, you’ve given me something to look forward to. Aah… 🙂

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Writers never retire . . . except when they go to bed! 😎

Jill Weatherholt - July 25, 2015

Thankfully, I don’t rely on my writing for income. 🙂

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Neither did J.K. Rowling before H.P. ~> and now she’s the world’s richest author!

Behind the Story - July 25, 2015

And then, while a writer is trying to fall asleep, he’s thinking of the next scene.

nrhatch - July 26, 2015

True dat, Nicki!

4. anotherday2paradise - July 25, 2015

Hehehe. I’m sure much of this is true about my neighbours here. 🙂

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Yes . . . the neighbors here too. We’re guilty of #2 ~ so easy to put off until tomorrow what doesn’t have to be done today.

5. Pix Under the Oaks - July 25, 2015

I like it… 😀 #1 is me! CH and I think his two brothers are NUTS!

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Sleep = Good! A good nap ~> Happy!

People who enjoy work and look forward to heading “to the office” every day may delay retirement for “good reason.” Since they enjoy what they do, it’s not “work.”

In contrast, many postpone vacations and retirement to feed the Ego. They want to feel as if they are indispensable.

I like that no one cares which task I tackle first. :mrgreen:

6. elizabeth2560 - July 25, 2015

I was just wondering … is the whole truth that retirees DO miss work … or that they do NOT miss the people they worked with?

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

I’m sure there are retirees who miss work and wish they hadn’t retired so soon. In the context of this joke, retirees are “too polite” to say they don’t miss the job OR the people.

elizabeth2560 - July 26, 2015

Just checking I fitted the criteria because that is EXACTLY how I feel (having recently retired). 🙂

nrhatch - July 27, 2015

Congratulations on your retirement, Elizabeth ~ here’s to finding fun and fulfillment around every corner!

7. Rainee - July 25, 2015

Very good Nancy! I particularly like the one about cleaning out the basement – very relevant for me :-). Made me chuckle.

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

The best jokes are those that hint at the “truth.” Glad you got a chuckle out of #5.

8. L. Marie - July 25, 2015

I had to laugh especially at number 5. That is so true!
Number 8 sounds wonderful! I would also add “They eat at restaurants.” My mom eats out a lot!

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

There are a few retirees on our street that eat out 3x a day ~ often at the same restaurant for breakfasts and lunches.

#8 reminds me of the song “Taking Care Of Business” ~> “I love to work at nothing all day.”

9. Kate Crimmins - July 25, 2015

These are spot on (says a retiree!)

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Spot on & on point ~> the e-mail had a few more “observations” but I culled the list to those I’d observed first hand. :mrgreen:

10. Carol Ferenc - July 25, 2015

I’m loving retirement. Figuring out what to do with your time is key to success. Thanks for the giggles!

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Agreed! I keep a “To Enjoy” list handy for daily inspiration.

11. William D'Andrea - July 25, 2015

As a retired man, I consider being a writer as my job, but nobody’s buying any of the books I produce. This means that unlike when I was working for an actual employer, I’m not getting paid. While I am getting along well enough on monthly social security payments and food stamp credits, that’s just not as satisfying.

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Maybe you could ghost write memoirs for people to earn some extra spending money?

William D'Andrea - July 25, 2015

I’m really not sure about that. I’m basically a fiction writer, who keeps to himself, and a guy who minds his own business.

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Duly noted.

12. colonialist - July 25, 2015

Hmmm… don’t we wish! I don’t think I ever worked quite as hard in employment as I have done during many periods of my ‘retirement’!
Still, I do agree with the ‘NUTS’ one!

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

You’ve had a grueling move, Col. Hope things are easing up for you and yours.

13. Val Boyko - July 25, 2015

I love this Nancy! Especially 3 and 6.
I would never return to corporate life that’s for sure!!

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

Same here. My preference is never to have to set the alarm to “get up” in time for work.

Val Boyko - July 25, 2015

Although I do need to get up in time for teaching yoga … but that ain’t work its pure joy 🙂

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

That’s the best reason to get up . . . to embrace JOY!

14. mybeautfulthings - July 25, 2015

No 5 tickled me most! We have only just managed to clear stuff from some of our kids, still have plenty of theirs to go before we even think about all our stuff!
Being even busier now as in the comments rings too true too – but now it is ALL fun! I did love my job but didn’t love the paperwork. Happy days! 🙂

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

I don’t miss the paperwork, the meetings, the audits, or the University bureaucracy.

15. granny1947 - July 25, 2015

Damn, I can relate to all of them and I am not even retired.

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

When you retire, the transition should be a piece of cake for you, Kathy.

16. C.E.Robinson - July 25, 2015

Nancy, this gave me a laugh! I’m retired and a full time writer. So, I don’t exactly fit the profile. Guess who does, at least on # 1. Significant other, and he’s not retired! Christine

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

I know many men who can fall asleep at the drop of a hat . . . all they need is a chair and off they nod to the Land of Nod.

17. diannegray - July 25, 2015

These are great, Nancy. I’m on an “extended sabbatical” as well. I don’t think I’ll ever truly retire as such, but I can relate to all the quiz questions 😀

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

I’m with you, Dianne ~ I have too many interests to retire. But it’s great to schedule life on my timetable.

18. beeblu - July 25, 2015

Ha! I wish I knew what it felt like. 🙂

nrhatch - July 25, 2015

The first time I took a sabbatical, I was in 7th Heaven! TIME, glorious TIME!

Hope the opportunity arises in due course for you, BB

19. Caz - July 25, 2015

Tied shoes..ha ha…it’s flip flops all the way except if you come from Oz and it’s thongs…mmmm whole different meaning in Uk and at my age comfort reigns ” supreme” 🙂

nrhatch - July 27, 2015

When someone from Oz steps into a pub for a pint and announces “I kicked off my thongs at the door” . . . it’s no wonder people sit up and take notice!

20. Debra - July 25, 2015

Sounds good to me! It won’t be too much longer. 🙂

nrhatch - July 26, 2015

Something to look forward to . . . as the wheel keeps turning!

21. Tiny - July 25, 2015

Very good, Nancy! Got many chuckles. Although sleeping in a chair in front of TV only happened to me when I was working 80 h weeks. It’s wonderful to be my own boss now, blending enjoyment and work as I please. And I notice enjoyment and discovery pleases me more and more 😜

nrhatch - July 26, 2015

I almost never fall asleep during the day or evening, but I do have to plan ahead to change a light bulb. 💡

22. Grannymar - July 27, 2015

I was medically retired fourteen years ago. It took a few years to adjust to the unwanted changes. Now I listen to my body rather than ignoring the signals to rest, and have reached a place where I can really enjoy life once more.

As for #2, I need to go buy the light bulb before I can change it. Thanks for the reminder.

nrhatch - July 27, 2015

Your life seems to have a lovely flow to it, Marie ~ with lots of yarn and yarns!

Grannymar - July 27, 2015

It may not be the life I chose but when I look around me, I am quite content with my lot

nrhatch - July 27, 2015

A good way to be.

23. Tammy - July 27, 2015

So Nancy, do you consider yourself in this group? I am a bit certain that when I do pull the plug, it will not look like this????

nrhatch - July 27, 2015

Not really. We do far less “racing around” to fit everything in than we did when we worked outside the home for 50+ hours a week. Life has a pleasant ebb and flow, but we don’t nap on the couch, take long lunches, or “do nothing” 7 days a week.


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