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Mr. Turner Is A Real Oinker! May 16, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Humor.

Although Mr. Turner got stellar reviews from film critics, BFF and I had to rely on subtitles to clarify the garbled, mumbled, marbles-in-the-mouth, muddy dialogue.

Not that all the utterances required translation.

Far from it.

We heard the many, many, many, many, many, many, many pig-like grunts and groans from the lead actor loud and clear.

Leaving us to conclude that Mr. Turner is a real oinker!


Aah . . . that’s better!



1. Hariod Brawn - May 16, 2015

I have not heard this complaint before Nancy; could it have been something to do with the sound settings on your playback system perhaps? Having said that, there has been a post-production conceit, prevailing for some years now, in which voice overs are to be whispered so as to draw the attention of the viewer in, and which I personally dislike.

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

No, not our sound settings. Just a few excerpts from the reviews on Amazon:

* Very disappointed. Difficult to understand the accents – should have had subtitles.

* Sound-wise, this movie was a disaster! I could only catch about every 20th word. The characters, especially “Mr Turner” mumbled and grunted their lines. So disappointed! SHOULD have had subtitles!

* This movie was so slow and the audio was so unintelligible that we turned it off after 90 minutes and went and read our kindles. A snoozer of the highest order.

* This was an ordeal to watch. The sets,costumes and the authentisity of the times was done well. The dialogue was hard to follow or understand not to mention the growling,grunting sounds from Mr.Turner made one feel that the barnyard was ever present. It was disappointing.

Even the critics noticed that Mr Turner sounded like a “truffle pig” . . .

He is not a conversationalist or articulate. ‘Ehhhh’ he will grunt, snort or huff, speaking rarely. He is like a truffle pig. But Spall being Spall, he infuses Turner with a humanity, pathos and humour that otherwise wouldn’t be there. And his face! Spall’s face is all pork-chop jowls and ratty teeth which put me in mind of the pet hamster (Ernie) I once had. It is an unlikely canvas, but Spall proves himself the true artist here, painting in Turner’s every flicker of thought and the emotions he is unable to express otherwise: rage, tenderness, pain, love, sadness, mirth. We are never told what Turner is like, as far as is known. We see it.


2. Don - May 16, 2015

I was deeply disappointed as well, Nancy. Turner was known for his little idiosyncrasies, but as often happens when the film boffs get hold of it they’ve always got to over accentuate and turn it in to absurdity for effect. Such a shame and I was so looking forward to it.

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

Absurd is THE right word, Don. I expected a moving portrayal and found, instead, an abstruse abstraction ~> an absurd reduction.

Like much of fusion cuisine, it didn’t tickle our taste buds.

Don - May 16, 2015

🙂 You write like he paints Nancy – sublime.

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

Thanks, Don! Grunt, grunt, snuffle, snort.

(Translation: “Your comment was both unexpected and appreciated.”)

3. Jill Weatherholt - May 16, 2015

I think I’ll take a pass on this movie. Thanks, Nancy.

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

Good call, Jill. The most interesting aspect of the movie for us was the period setting ~> which made us appreciate being Here, Now.

4. Pix Under the Oaks - May 16, 2015

I will be passing too.
I like the laughing zebras… 😀
Good Morning!

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

Those laughing zebras crack me up! :mrgreen:

Good morning! Hope you’re feeling fit as a fiddle, Pix.

5. anotherday2paradise - May 16, 2015

I’ll definitely give this one a swerve, Nancy. Thanks for the warning.

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

Yes. Especially right now, you have better things to do with your time! Good luck getting ready for your trip!

6. Grannymar - May 16, 2015

I had similar thoughts about a David Bowie record or whatever the modern term for them is these days. I heard a discussion on how great it was, so decided to see what all the fuss was about. There were three levels of noise:. The instrumental group were the loudest, then came a backing group and finally Mr Bowie quietly muttering. I could not make out one word he was supposed to be singing, so I gave up. I am not deaf yet, but if there are lyrics, I like to be able to hear them.

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

I hear ya, GM! I loved David Bowie’s “Changes” album . . . in High School. Haven’t listened to him much in my “Golden Years.”

7. Silver in the Barn - May 16, 2015

Well, this is disappointing. I heard an interview on NPR with Tim Spall which has made me yearn to see the movie. If it comes to Netflix, I will surely give it a try. I do remember in Scotland hearing some people with such heavy brogues, I could have done with a subtitle or two. Sorry you didn’t like the movie, Nancy, have you seen “The Woman in Gold?” That’s another I want to see but has received mixed reviews.

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

It’s on Netflix, Barbara – just released this week. The dialogue made it more challenging to follow but that’s not the only reason we found it lacking. That said, perhaps you will like it more than we did. On Amazon, the reviews are evenly distributed across the range of 5 stars ~ resulting in a solid average of 3 stars.

“Woman in Gold” is in our Netflix queue. I haven’t checked the reviews yet because I know I want to see it.

Sometimes I’m glad I’ve seen a specific film even if I didn’t “enjoy” watching it ~ in Mr. Turner’s case, we found the period aspects of the piece interesting, we just didn’t care for Mr. Turner.


nrhatch - May 16, 2015

We also watched “Still Alice” this week ~ amazing film, sad and inspiring at the same time.

A reminder that “now” is all we have.

Silver in the Barn - May 16, 2015

I read the book. Thanks for the reminder on that one. Hey, have you watched “the Bletchley Circle? ” I’m really enjoying that one. I think you might too!

nrhatch - May 16, 2015

I hadn’t heard of the series . . . but just added Season One and Two to the queue. Thanks, Barbara.

8. Val Boyko - May 17, 2015

Bummer … Thanks for the heads up!

nrhatch - May 17, 2015

The film had one redeeming feature ~> I am delighted that I’m not married to someone like Mr. Turner. 😛

Val Boyko - May 17, 2015

😉 I hear you Nancy!

9. pattyabr - May 17, 2015

I saw the movie in three intervals on three Qantas flights when I went to Australia last month. It was an interesting movie to say the least. It was beautiful scenery which was to nod his landscape painting. He was a character indeed. It is amazing to me that someone so crass actually had a heart and talent somewhere deep inside that gruff, ugly old man. It was touching how the father-son relationship and the later in life relationship with the innkeeper woman showed a softer side to him. His poor relationship with his mother obviously caused his poor relationship with women most of his life. Deeply insecure and craving approval with his painting.

nrhatch - May 17, 2015

We enjoyed the period aspects of the film, but the plot plodded along for too long without point or purpose ~ we began to wonder if the film had been funded by John Constable’s heirs to make Turner look piggish. :mrgreen:

pattyabr - May 17, 2015

maybe it was good I saw it in three parts to break up the long monotony of plodded plot 🙂

nrhatch - May 17, 2015

Maybe watching the film in installments allowed Mr. Turner to grow on you in just the right way.

10. livelytwist - May 17, 2015

Lol… but the preview is clear enough 🙂

nrhatch - May 17, 2015

Exactly! We saw this trailer and that enticed us to watch the film which paled in contrast. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that “Honest Trailers” will create a more accurate depiction of de pic!

11. L. Marie - May 17, 2015

Oh man! Too bad. It seems like it would have been a great movie. But I don’t feel like being frustrated!
Love the laughing zebras. 🙂

nrhatch - May 17, 2015

Most of the time, I enjoy biographical movies. Watching this film just made me happy that Mr. Turner isn’t our neighbor.

{{snort snort}} :mrgreen:

12. suzicate - May 18, 2015

Well, I won’t waste my time on this one! I didn’t watch the trailer, but he appears to be snorting in the photo, too! Love the zebra photo!

nrhatch - May 18, 2015

Seeing zebras laugh makes me laugh ~> humor inducing ridiculousness.

This film is not a complete “waste of time” but BFF and I both felt that we wouldn’t have missed much if we had excised it from our queue pre-view.

13. Three Well Beings - May 21, 2015

I am glad you don’t mince any words! I have watched most, if not all, of the movies you’ve given positive reviews and I’ve agreed. I will agree with you on this one in advance, and skip it! 🙂

nrhatch - May 21, 2015

We watched two good movies this week ~ Still Alice (starring Julianne Moore) addressed the thief that is Alzheimer’s with taste and tact and Cake (starring Jennifer Aniston) did the same for chronic pain. Both are terrific reminders that how we relate to the issue IS the issue ~ we can’t always wish “IT” away.

14. jannatwrites - July 22, 2015

I’ve decided my taste in movies is unrefined… when critics love something, it’s pretty much guaranteed I will not 🙂

nrhatch - July 22, 2015

When critics CLAIM to love a movie for its opaque artsy~ness, I’m not persuaded they actually see more in it than the masses.

They’re just too afraid to say, “Look, the Emperor’s NAKED!” 😛

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