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For Retirees April 18, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

IMGP3282bFour retirees are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – ALL drinks 10 cents.”

They look at each other, thinking this is too good to be true.

Seeing them at the door, the bartender calls out, “C’mon in. What’ll it be, gentlemen?”

Each of the four men orders a martini.

The bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, “That’s 10 cents each, please.”

The four guys can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced as the bartender says, “That’s 40 cents, please.”

They pay the 40 cents wondering how the bar stays in business. They’ve each had two martinis and haven’t even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

The bartender nods.  “I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it’s all the same.”

“Wow! That’s some story!”

250px-New_Orleans_City_of_Old_Romance_and_New_Opportunity_Crop_p_23_MoneybagsAs the four of them sip their martinis, they notice seven people at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “They’re retirees from Florida. They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.”

Aah . . . that’s better! 



1. Don - April 18, 2015

Sometimes it stares you in the face and you just don’t get it. 🙂

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

There is nothing like 2-for-1 drink specials, but at $0.10 a drink, I wouldn’t wait for happy hour to order a thirst quencher. Every hour would be happy hour. 🙄

2. aladywrites4u - April 18, 2015

Yep, those Floridians always manage to find the deals

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

One of the ways to fill our days ~> “bargain hunting.” :mrgreen:

aladywrites4u - April 18, 2015

Ha ha, yep, I have some friends in FL and they’re always sending me links to bargains.

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

And Florida bars offer some great Happy Hour deals ~ the Chart House on Longboat Key is our favorite, even though the drinks cost a bit more than $0.10.

3. anotherday2paradise - April 18, 2015

Hahaha. Spot on! 🙂

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

I roared when I got to the punchline . . . spot on, indeed! 😎

anotherday2paradise - April 18, 2015

I might submit this for our club magazine. Do you think anyone would be offended? 😃

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

Yay! Great idea.

Since it’s nickels and dimes, I expect that EVERYONE would get a kick out of it. I suspect most bargain hunters will laugh.

4. Jill Weatherholt - April 18, 2015

Ha ha! That sounds about right. 🙂

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

This really tickled my funny bone chakra.

Hope you’re having a great weekend, Jill. Follow your dreams!

Jill Weatherholt - April 18, 2015

Thank you, Nancy. 🙂 Enjoy your weekend too!

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

Shall do!

5. Silver in the Barn - April 18, 2015

OMG!! That’ is so funny, Nancy, so funny because it’s so very true. I can’t wait to share this one with BH. He occasionally goes out to dinner with a group of retired men (the husbands of my book club gang.) He’s the youngest of them, by far, and DIES of embarrassment at their coupons and “separate checks” and all the rest. He’ll love this one.

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

Yay! Glad you got a kick out of it, Barbara.

At times my “penny pinching” and Scottish frugality has embarrassed BFF . . . but once I translate the savings into pizzas, he’s happy! :mrgreen:

That said, I wouldn’t wait for prices to drop from a dime to a nickel before bellying up to the bar.

Silver in the Barn - April 18, 2015

BH cannot stand it mostly because these guys have plenty of dough but are obsessed with saving the last nickel. Makes him squirmy. It’s like their hobby, Nancy, how to one up the other one on savings. One of them even asks for samples of the food before ordering. So funny.

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

Wait! Are you saying I can ask for samples before ordering?! 😛

6. brickhousechick - April 18, 2015

Ha! Good one, Nancy. Sounds about right in terms of the Floridians. Finding a deal is cool, it’s when it goes beyond that it gets…awkward. I have two friends that push the limits and it’s embarrassing to go out with them as they split every entree, ask for special cheaper options and pay with pennies. AY! That’s too much! 🙂

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

Yes! Sometimes less is more . . . and sometimes too little is too much! I am more inclined to “dive after deals” when it’s just me and BFF ~ because I don’t want to make friends feel squirmy (or worry that we’re on the verge of applying for food stamps).

You’ve got a new brickhouse gravatar for BHC! Cool! 😎

brickhousechick - April 18, 2015

Glad you don’t make your friends feel squirmy. I like a good deal too but then there’s CHEAP! 🙂 Glad you like my gravatar although I already miss my eyeball.

nrhatch - April 19, 2015

Here’s LOOKING at you, kid! 😯

7. reocochran - April 18, 2015

This is me, sometimes searching and using up a lot of time cutting coupons and finding deals. Just sit and enjoy the deals, as they happen. Almost a ‘steal’ in this case!
Fun story with a lot of humor and chuckles result from it. I enjoy your comments section, Nancy!

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

Thanks, Robin. I do too ~ comments make blogging more amusing, fun, and entertaining than scribbling away in a journal.

8. Ralph - April 18, 2015

Whahaha ! 😀

nrhatch - April 18, 2015

Glad you enjoyed, Ralph! Any Happy Hour is better when filled with laughter.

9. Jacqueline King - April 18, 2015

If you were telling this tale in the UK Nancy, the guys at the end of the bar would be either Scots or from Yorkishire. But it sounds as you already know about the frugal reputation of the former! 😉

nrhatch - April 19, 2015

Haha! I should have made them a wee bit Scottish!

10. Tiny - April 18, 2015

Hilarious! I bet the bartender was originally from Florida too, therefore so generous…Happy hour on those prices 😱

nrhatch - April 19, 2015

I might have to make his bar my regular watering hole!

11. L. Marie - April 19, 2015

Ha ha ha!!!! Some of us from Illinois would be waiting for the same thing!

nrhatch - April 19, 2015

I expect that all states include thrifty and frugal folks along with a “sprinkling” of spendthrifts who spend money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.

If you see one of the latter, let them know that Demi Moore’s NYC Penthouse on Central Park West, located in the South Tower of the San Remo (Bono owns the North Tower), is for sale. The 7,000 sq. ft. abode with a 1500 sq. ft. terrace is listed at $75 million dollars, which includes a 2 bed, 2 bath maisonette on the ground floor. The combined MONTHLY maintenance fees for both? $20,000!!!

We’re dealing! 🙄

12. Val Boyko - April 19, 2015

I hear Demi is retiring to Florida …..

nrhatch - April 19, 2015

Cool. Maybe she’s retiring here because of the amazing Happy Hour deals! 🙄

Demi said she wanted to sell the NYC Penthouse because she was spending so much time at her other houses. Plural. And she felt the San Remy penthouse deserved full time occupants.

I’m guessing that anyone who can spend $75 million to buy and a quarter of a million annually to maintain the penthouse will probably have other homes scattered around the globe.

13. Behind the Story - April 19, 2015

Another good Florida joke! We all love a good deal, but some people more so than others.

nrhatch - April 19, 2015

I’m a big fan of getting VALUE for our money. Sometimes that involves bargain hunting. Other times, it’s savoring something that costs a bit more but is worth it. Like good chocolate!

Behind the Story - April 20, 2015

Once you’ve had good chocolate, you never go back to the cheap stuff (except in an emergency).

nrhatch - April 20, 2015

No more stocking up on Clearance Easter Candy . . . unless it’s the Good Stuff! :mrgreen:

14. Three Well Beings - April 21, 2015

You know, I think I know a few of those people at the end of the bar! LOL!

nrhatch - April 21, 2015

Haha! I do too! I have aimed to arrive in time for Happy Hour specials . . . but at $0.10 a drink, I wouldn’t be tempted to wait.

15. judithhb - April 21, 2015

Wouldn’t need a ‘happy hour’ with drinks at 10 cents each. Mind you I could get very tipsy if martinis were only 10 cents!

nrhatch - April 21, 2015

At prices like that, you need a bartender who agrees to cut you off when you’ve reached your limit!

16. livelytwist - April 24, 2015

Couldn’t have guessed the punch line in a million years! 🙂
You’re retired and living in Florida, right? 😉

nrhatch - April 24, 2015

It’s great when the punchline sneaks up on us! To answer your question . . . MAYBE.

When we moved to Florida in 2009, we planned to re-enter the work force. Thus far, we have avoided going back to work. That may change as the path unfolds before us (since we are still years away from Social Security’s official retirement age).

livelytwist - April 24, 2015

Okay. Enjoy! 🙂

nrhatch - April 24, 2015

Thanks! So far, so good.

17. jannatwrites - April 26, 2015

Haha, that’s pretty funny. Those Florida retirees can’t pass up a bargain, I guess 🙂

nrhatch - April 26, 2015

This joke just nails it! :mrgreen:

18. Paula Tohline Calhoun - May 8, 2015

This story reminds me of a very old story told by a rather racist comedian (Brother Dave Garner), who once in a while managed to tell some ordinary, across the board appealing stories. This comes from an old 45 rpm recording made in the 50’s. One which we still have a copy of, called Number 1 Street, which covers his journey from Maine to Florida on the Boston Post Road.

On arriving in Florida at last they spotted an orange juice stand advertising “All the orange juice you can drink for a dime!” They were thirsty, and stopped, gave the counterman a dime, got their glass of orange juice – sweet and delicious – put the emptied gasses on the bar and said, Ill have another glass please! The counterman said that will be another dime, to which came the irate response: “Hey! You said I could have all the OJ I could drink for a dime. I’ve paid my dime, and I’m still wanting more!” The proprietor dryly answered, “You are exactly right sir, and you just had all the OJ you can drink for a dime!

nrhatch - May 8, 2015

Haha! We just drove across the state to visit Bok Tower Gardens. On the way there and back we passed through loads of citrus groves laden with juicy looking oranges. Enjoyed Bok Tower Gardens and the “carol of the bells” concert.

Found a baby bird out of its nest on one of the woodland paths, built it a leanto to protect it from the sun, then alerted a director to its plight. I’m envisioning that they managed to save it.

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