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Something’s Screwy With This Key February 14, 2015

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

SnoopyA woman in her early forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called “The Key,” where a small key placed on the back of a woman’s head can be turned to tighten her skin to create the effect of a brand new face lift.

Of course, the woman wanted “The Key.”

Over the years, the woman tightened the key with wonderful results – the woman remained young and vibrant looking.

Woodstock-&-Snoopy3After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.

“For 15 years, everything has worked fine. I’d turn the key and love the result. But now I’ve developed two annoying problems.  First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won’t get rid of them.”

The doctor looked at her closely and said, “Those aren’t bags, those are your breasts.”

She nodded. “No point asking about the beard then . . .”

Aah . . . that’s better!

E-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Happy Valentine’s Day!



1. Jill Weatherholt - February 14, 2015

Ha ha! That was great, Nancy! Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! 🙂

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Thanks, Jill! Hope your weekend is off to a FAB start and that it offers up a few sweet surprises.

2. Val Boyko - February 14, 2015

Hahahaha! Shared with hubby. Thanks for giving us both such a good laugh this morning 🙂
Happy Valentines Day!

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Glad you enjoyed, Val! Have a warm and wonderful Valentine’s Day.

Love is such a big word, it really should have more letters. ~ Kobi Yamada

3. Pix Under the Oaks - February 14, 2015

Ha ha! Happy Valentine’s Day!

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Hey Pix! Hope you and CH have a chance to relax, unwind, and toast your togetherness with a glass of vino this afternoon. Enjoy!

Pix Under the Oaks - February 14, 2015

That’s the plan Nancy… after a cheeseburger for lunch and a shared white chocolate mocha at Starbucks. Hope you and BFF have a wonderful day! We will think of you two when we clink glasses at wine time… 🙂

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Your celebration sounds “low key” AND delicious . . . like ours!

I’m waiting for it to warm up a bit more before sticking my nose out the door. It’s Not Too Balmy today.

4. Hariod Brawn - February 14, 2015


nrhatch - February 14, 2015

I see you’ve got your own key well in hand! :mrgreen:

5. NancyTex - February 14, 2015


nrhatch - February 14, 2015

She should have signed up for Tracy Anderson’s Smooth Moves Boot Camp. 😛

NancyTex - February 14, 2015

Those two approaches would surely be tied for the least effective prize. 🙂

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

I did try Tracy’s arm machinations ~ I don’t look like a dancer yet, but it felt like a great stretch.

6. suzicate - February 14, 2015

Bwahahaha, nothing like starting the day with a good laugh…thank you!

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Laugh lines are the BEST kind of wrinkles. :mrgreen:

7. Don - February 14, 2015

Lol – Love your Stories Nancy.:)

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Thanks, Don. Sharing smiles is my favorite cyber activity.

8. tamarahickman - February 14, 2015

That was fabulous! Needed that laugh, thank you. 🙂

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Thanks, Tamara! Glad it tickled your funny bone chakra.

9. Kate Crimmins - February 14, 2015

I wonder if Michael Jackson had this problem….

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Yes! That and too much bleaching. 😛

10. Tiny - February 14, 2015

Oh… I’ve heard a good laugh is great for health and longevity! Even without the key 😀

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Humor is the best stress buster on the planet.

11. JOriginal Muse - February 14, 2015

Ha ha ha ha ha…! Best laugh I’ve had in a long time! I’m going to have to practice telling this one without messing up the punch line… Happy Valentine’s Day to you and BFF, Nancy… but if it’s just another day for you two, then may I suggest renting I Hate Valentine’s Day and enjoying a good laugh at home tonight…? Thanks for my laugh of the day 😀

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Glad you enjoyed!

I loved Nia Vardalos in My Big Fat Greek Wedding . . . I’ll have to check out “I Hate Valentine’s Day.” Thanks for the tip.

BFF and I don’t have any BIG plans for today ~ I did give him a card that caused us both to laugh out loud. It was a bit screwy, like this key.

12. anotherday2paradise - February 14, 2015

Thanks for making me almost choke with laughter, Nancy. 😆

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Glad you enjoyed, Sylvia! I loved your hearts and flowers today.

anotherday2paradise - February 14, 2015

Thanks, Nancy. 🙂

13. beeblu - February 14, 2015

Hahaha – the perils of the endless pursuit of youth.

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Some of the Hollywood crowd end up looking rather tortured from all the work they’ve had done.

beeblu - February 14, 2015

Yes, it never seems to improve their looks, but just makes them look downright weird.

nrhatch - February 15, 2015

Plastic smiles belong on Barbie dolls. :mrgreen:

14. Barb - February 14, 2015

Oh dear…not a good look at all!

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Indeed! Better to age with grace.

15. diannegray - February 14, 2015

LOL! Love it, Nancy! 😀

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Hi Dianne! Hope all is well in your corner of the world ~ thanks for swinging by.

16. Silver in the Barn - February 14, 2015

That’s it! I’m canceling my appointment for a nip/tuck immediately. I’m sticking with my original face!

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

U B Smart! :mrgreen:

17. Behind the Story - February 14, 2015

Oh, dear! That’s disgusting … and very funny. Happy Valentine’s Day, Nancy.

nrhatch - February 14, 2015

Thanks, Nicki.

I’m glad the e-mail didn’t come with a corresponding cartoon. Not sure I’d like to see “the thousand words” represented by the image. 😯

18. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? - February 15, 2015

Hahaha!! I laughed so hard I snorted!!!

nrhatch - February 15, 2015

Huzzah! That seems a most appropriate response. 😛

19. L. Marie - February 16, 2015

There are some days when I wish I had a key like that. . . .

nrhatch - February 16, 2015

Either that or an iron to smooth out the wrinkles. 😛

20. Grannymar - February 16, 2015

That is so funny and just the giggle I need today. I want to share it with my friends!

nrhatch - February 16, 2015

Share away! Glad you got the giggle you needed.

21. colonialist - February 16, 2015

Best not enquire what would turn up next … 🙂

nrhatch - February 16, 2015

Good idea!

22. jannatwrites - February 16, 2015

Oh my, that’s just wrong! Funny, but wrong 🙂

nrhatch - February 17, 2015

Nakedly absurd humor that is barely amusing. :mrgreen:

23. livelytwist - February 17, 2015

Ouch! 🙂

nrhatch - February 17, 2015

She’s tight as a drum!

24. Three Well Beings - February 17, 2015

Oh my gosh! This is hilarious. Ah vanity! Sometimes it gets the best of us!

nrhatch - February 17, 2015

Sometimes when I see what the glitterati have done to themselves via plastic surgery, botox, etc., I cringe.

Since I don’t have the money, I will never be tempted to turn myself into a clown. 😛

25. mybeautfulthings - February 17, 2015

Oh, I loved that! Thank you for the laughter which just rang around our sitting room! 🙂

nrhatch - February 17, 2015

Glad you enjoyed, Sally. Thanks for sharing your compassionate tale on Don’s post.

26. Yolanda M. - February 18, 2015

LOL!!! poor dear. I know I would have missed my breasts 😉

nrhatch - February 18, 2015

She probably couldn’t think straight . . . being wound so tight! :mrgreen:

27. Piglet in Portugal - March 6, 2015

ROFL!!! Nancy you’ve just cheered me up!

nrhatch - March 7, 2015

Yay! Glad to share a smile across the ocean, PiP.

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