Friendships Based On Mutual Distrust January 21, 2015Posted by nrhatch in Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.
“Offering superficial approval, passive agreement, and placating compliments is easy. Being a good friend is hard.”
~ Janna T. Writes
When friends ask us to “be honest,” they don’t always mean it. Instead of thanking us for our honest candor, they may lash out or turn their backs on us.
That happened to me once upon a time.
A friend asked me what I thought of the guy she was dating. Everyone else (including her mother) lied to her and said he was wonderful. I told her that he seemed selfish and full of himself.
He dumped her a few months later.
At that point, everyone else (including her mother) admitted that they had NEVER liked him, that he was a complete and utter jerk, that she was better off without him, etc.
Even though she KNEW they had intentionally lied to her, she was OK with their dishonesty.
She was NOT OK with my honesty.
She gave me the cold shoulder for YEARS, later revealing the reason why.
As I pondered her belated explanation, I decided that, if given the chance, I would not retract my words to gain her approval by lying.
Maintaining pseudo-friendships based on mutual distrust and insincere platitudes seems rather pointless.
What do you think?
Aah . . . that’s better!
Related post: Kindly Be Honest