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I Have More Friends Than You Think! November 14, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

For the past week or so, Facebook has bombarded me with the same message:

You have more friends on Facebook than you think

The fastest way to find all of your friends on Facebook is importing your email contacts. Once you’ve imported your contacts you can view, manage or delete them at any time.


Facebook shoots the message out 3x in an hour, then 3x more every hour on the hour, then 3x more in the following days.

After a cease fire, the shelling begins again.


The message has been dropped into the e-trenches 13+ times.  I don’t have an exact count because I shoot them out of the cyber sky as soon as they appear on the horizon.

If I had a pink flamingo for each, my cyber lawn would look littered.


Facebook’s unrelenting relentlessness and persistent persistence is reason enough for me to refuse to cave to the demand.

Damn the torpedoes!  FB shall NOT capture my cyber contacts.


Aah . . . that’s better!



1. Rainee - November 14, 2014

I agree with you there Nancy.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

After writing this post, I got 3 more identical e-mails. I wonder why FB is so focused on my address book. 😕

2. Jill Weatherholt - November 14, 2014

I so agree with you, Nancy. I can’t imagine anyone actually doing this.
I love the pink flamingo photo!

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

It’s become rather routine for me to return from an outing and have 3 or more identical e-mails from FB waiting . . . telling me how many more friends I could have on FB if I would just hand over my contact list.

And those e-mails are interspersed with e-mails from FB asking if I know X or Y or Z plus e-mails telling me that I have notifications waiting for me and e-mails with birthday reminders and . . .

FB is a tiny part of my life, less than an hour a week. Maybe the “powers that be” believe it should be a bigger slice of my life. 😛

3. Silver in the Barn - November 14, 2014

I’ve stopped using Facebook, as a rule, although I pop in now and then when my husband alerts me to something I need to see from the family. My feed became such a tedious one….filled with political ranting from both sides….and fattening recipes…..and videos. So bored with it all. But then I discovered Instagram!

Pix Under the Oaks - November 14, 2014

You are on Instagram? 😀

Silver in the Barn - November 14, 2014

Yes, with my “Silver” name? You?

Pix Under the Oaks - November 14, 2014

I’m excited! With my “Pix Oaks” name! I haven’t done much there but hoping to change that.. 🙂

Silver in the Barn - November 14, 2014

OK, I’ll go see. I have met some wonderful people through IG!! And no political ranting! Just a wonderful place to share photographs and various inspirations. I really enjoy it.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

I spend almost no time on FB which may be why FB is focused on getting me to expand my FB friend list.

Too bad. I don’t like FB.

It’s great to pop in and see how my nieces and nephews are doing, but I don’t want to keep up with 15-minute updates from folks who want me to know that they are at the airport, having a drink, boarding the plane, gazing at clouds, etc.

Pix Under the Oaks - November 14, 2014


4. Pix Under the Oaks - November 14, 2014

I haven’t seen that but maybe FB feels like I am not worth the attention because I do hardly a thing there. I use FB to keep me connected to a foster Mom in Canada that runs a kitten cam 24/7 for rescues. I would never share my email contacts with any BODY.. they are mine, all mine.. 😀 Instagram is always wanting me to share them, uh no.

Silver in the Barn - November 14, 2014

Instagram is owned by FB, I hear, so no surprise there. I agree, my email contacts are mine alone!

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Another form of trolling received from FB is of the “Do you know these people?” type. I often recognize the names/faces but they aren’t folks I want to interact with on FB.

5. Val Boyko - November 14, 2014

I knew something was up when a message came through that my ex husband wanted to be friends on FB…. that was a laugh 🙂

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Maybe FB thinks you and your ex should engage in cyber reconciliation? 😛

I’ve gotten “friend requests” on FB that were NOT send by the person in question ~ FB sends them out, playing “matchmaker.”

6. valleygrail - November 14, 2014

What a nuisance!

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

I’ve considered deleting my FB account . . . but I would miss a few of the interactions I have there. Especially seeing photos posted by my nieces and nephews.

valleygrail - November 14, 2014

My FB is a vital link with friends and family who live far away. I am grateful for it, but i have not had to deal with the annoying things you described.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

That’s the nice thing about SPAM, it’s easy to toss into the TRASH BIN. 😛

7. ashokbhatia - November 14, 2014

Flamingos cluttering up your cyber space! We should have a law against it!!
Allow me to invite you to join SPIN – the Society for Prevention of Internet Narcissism on FB instead.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Bwahaha! SPIN sounds great! Internet Narcissism is Alive and Well and Living on FB! Some FB pages are so littered with irrelevant details and minutia that I scratch my head in wonder.

ashokbhatia - November 14, 2014

At the core of FB’s appeal is perhaps the basic human tendency to show off! The stated purpose is sharing, though. And yes, it could leave others green with envy and twiddling their thumbs as to how to have that exotic vacation or live the fabulous lifestyle being claimed by the other person!
Do check out the SPIN page on FB, whenever you have the inclination and the time.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

If anyone else wants to check out the SPIN on SPIN:


8. suzicate - November 14, 2014

Sometimes those messages aren’t even from FB, but some app people have used on FB…I never follow those links or use the apps.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Interesting. Maybe that’s why I’m getting so many identical messages. Because people who have my e-mail address are trying to expand their FB friend list. 😕

9. livelytwist - November 14, 2014

Ha ha ha! I have many friends on FB so FB has left me alone. I recently joined Pinterest and I’m being bulldozed. What the brouhaha! We’ll keep fighting 😀

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Exactly! Better to be bombarded or bulldozed with social media invites than bamboozled by charlatans selling snake oil. 😛

10. thecontentedcrafter - November 14, 2014

I heard somewhere recently [sorry no memory of the details… Head. Sieve. … Disinterest……] that the days of face book are numbered. I wonder if they heard that too. Glad to hear you are standing strong!

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

FB proves the law of diminishing marginal utility ~> the first taste of something is usually the best (with each subsequent “bite” becoming less appealing).

Eventually we get full and push away from the feeding trough.

11. elizabeth2560 - November 14, 2014

I am with you there. I have no interest in Facebook except for the occasional look-in if any of my kids are overseas. I find Facebook really boring and tiresome to navigate.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Agreed on all counts, Elizabeth. When I first joined, I thought, “Wow! All these friends from HS and College and Law School. How fun!” But then it became overwhelming to actually follow their feeds to see what was going on because so many people on FB have to post something every time they have a “hangnail.”

So now I rarely check the news feed. Instead, I click on my nieces and nephews and a few other people’s pages to catch up and ignore the rest of the FB wasteland.

12. Judson - November 14, 2014

There is so much to like about Face Book, but there is an awful lot to dislike as well. For me it’s a constant balancing act … 😉

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

I enjoy seeing family photos, especially of kids who grow up so fast. But even photos can become tiresome if 100 are posted when 5 would do.

So, yes, a constant balancing act between wanting to catch up without falling behind on everything else.

13. ericjbaker - November 14, 2014

What if one has enough friends already?

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Exactly! I had a couple hundred FB friends but most weren’t really that “friendly.” So I whittled away at the list until I got it down to 77. That number works for me.

14. Yolanda M. - November 14, 2014

LOL Nancy I love your sense of humour AND the pink flamingoes 😀 Yup I hate that annoying message. If it weren’t for the fact that many of my friends only communicate via FB because they are scattered about the globe, I would not bother with it.

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

Thanks, Yolanda. I had fun writing this. For some of us, FB is a “necessary” communication tool. But I do fantasize about pressing the *DISCONNECT* button on my account on occasion.

15. jannatwrites - November 14, 2014

I’ve never been on FB, but I wouldn’t want them to have access to my contacts either. Weird!

nrhatch - November 14, 2014

When I joined FB, before I knew better, I did let them have a peek at my address book. That’s how I found so many long lost “friends” who had accounts there.

Now I prefer to add to my friend list on a more selective basis and don’t need FB poking around on my behalf.

16. Paula Tohline Calhoun - November 15, 2014

I have always known you have more friends than I. This is probably be cause you are a) friendlier, b) more persistent in achieving these remarkable numbers, and c) a better friend, i.e., a writer of short, breezy, and entertaining posts, with occasional tidbits of valuable info. So, no surprise. But add to that, since I have been neglecting FB for so long that I don’t give flying pig what is going on with them. So, I will now add my favorite word in my new lexicon that applies so well in this case: “Hey, FB! BUMBERSHOOT!”

An, that’s better! (Can you tell that I have been missing you?) I’ll be seeing you around the blogosphere when either a) I am done with NaNoWriMo or b) NaNoWriMo is done with me. Cheers!

nrhatch - November 15, 2014

Haha! Fooled ya, PTC.

The real reason is because I put all my eggs in ONE basket ~> one blog is the extent of my foray into Social Media (no Twitter account, no videos on youtube, a neglected FB account, no Pinterest account, no LinkedIn account, no texting, no smart phone, etc.)

When everything gets funneled into a single pile . . . the pile looks bigger. 😛

Have fun with NaNoWriMo.

Paula Tohline Calhoun - November 15, 2014

Well, I can say that I have done my share of FB neglect, and Twitter ignoring, except people have been so bumbershootin’ nice to me on Twitter that I feel I must at least say thank you occasionally! Right now I’m NaNoWriMoing and poetry editing most of the time anyway.

BTW, would you be willing to be a beta reader for either the poetry or the novel? I want someone who will be BRUTALLY honest (of course you can be exceedingly kind too, , , LOL!) I know you are busy and I trust in your ability to sat NO!

I wish you enough. . .

nrhatch - November 15, 2014

Not interested in being a Beta reader for poetry.

As for the novel, it depends on the subject matter. Christian novels hold no appeal. Same goes for novels with vampires, werewolves, horror, wars, rape, torture, animal abuse.

The style of prose is also a deciding factor. If it’s poetic or purple prose, I’m not the right reader for the job.

If not excluded by the above, you can shoot me the first chapter (after the first draft stage) and we can take it from there.

17. NancyTex - November 15, 2014

I always scratch my head when I see people (many of whom are good friends) who have 500, 700, 1000+ friends on facebook. How is that possible? How can you possibly be FRIENDS with that many people?

I came to realize that some people use Facebook in the way that I use LinkedIn (i.e. as a means to connect with work/professional contacts). I don’t get it, but …whatever works for them, I guess.

Personally, I tend to cull my FB friends list every 3 months or so. 🙂

nrhatch - November 15, 2014

When I first joined FB, I “friended” some people I didn’t know when they posted something intriguing on a friend’s wall ~ kind of like checking out someone’s blog and following them after seeing their comments in comment threads elsewhere.

I soon culled those FB “friends” from my account. Now it’s family, friends from “real” life, and folks I’ve “met” blogging.

18. William D'Andrea - November 15, 2014

I have 19 people listed as facebook friends, and an infinite number of “requested” friends. I also have 41 friends on webook.com The only ones among them, who I actually know outside the internet, are my sister, and a woman who attends my Church. The only friend among them who I’m regularly in contact with is you, Nancy.
Hi friend.

nrhatch - November 15, 2014

Sounds like a good mix ~ and plenty of friends to follow given your limited access to the library’s computer. Have a friendly day!

William D'Andrea - November 17, 2014

It doesn’t really matter how many “friends” I have, when I hardly ever receive messages from any of them; and I have no interest in contacting most of them.
No matter how many of them are listed, I’ll still be the one who chooses who my real friends are, either on or off the internet; and I’m glad you’re one of them.

nrhatch - November 17, 2014

Thanks, William.

I would hesitate to call you friend. In part because you seem more on-line persona than real life person. I sense at times that you’re cut from the same cloth as AndaLib.

I know next to nothing about you ~ you drink coffee on the way to the library to use the computer. Your doctor says you’re in great shape for your age. You share a birthday with James McShane. You go to church on Sunday and feel the women are good cooks.

That’s not much to base a friendship on.

I feel differently about the bloggers I follow ~ they are far more “real” to me. I know I could reach out and touch them and they wouldn’t drift away in the ether. They share photos of pets and children and homes and hobbies and crafts and outings. And themselves ~> I know what they look like on the other side of the looking glass.

In contrast, I’ve never seen a picture of your “real life” ~ not your home, your friends, your family, your hobbies, the shop where you stop for coffee, the library, the church, the grocery store, etc. You’ve never shared real images of your life here or on WEbook. As a result, I know more about characters in books I’ve read than I do about you.

Moreover, many of the comments you’ve posted are word for word reiterations of things you said before . . . as if you’d memorized a lie in order to commit it to memory.

So, no, you’re not my friend. You’re a cyber acquaintance who is consistent/ persistent in his visits to SLTW. If ever you cross over the line from casual acquaintance / stranger to friend, I’ll let you know.

William D'Andrea - November 20, 2014

When I call someone a friend, I mean that he or she is someone who’s company I enjoy, who enjoys my company, and with who I feel comfortable. That’s how I feel about you. I know that there are many degrees of friendship, far beyond that, but since you and I are only in contact on the internet, that’s about as far as I expect things to go between us.
Also, since I’m sending messages to your blog, which is available for everybody in the world, who’s in the internet to see, I’m just being reasonably cautious about the things I say about myself.
I also haven’t written much about my personal life, because I think it’s just too mundane. The characters in my stories, that you’ve mentioned, are much more interesting than me.
While I do repeat myself a lot, they aren’t memorized lies. I am not a liar. Please be careful with your choice of words. It’s just that when I’m satisfied with the way I’ve written something, I see no reason to change a word.
If you’d like to know more about my personal life, you can check out the following non-fiction articles I’ve posted.
Then if you’d like to know about my Church go to
All the information on the website may not be entirely up to date.

nrhatch - November 20, 2014

I debated debating the issue with you, but you keep characterizing our cyber acquaintance as a “real friendship” when it doesn’t seem to rise to that level from my perspective.

You follow my blog, so you see the comings and goings of my life. That may give you the sense that you “know” me. But the reverse is not true ~ I don’t know who you are, so you don’t feel like a “real friend” to me.

But you’re friendly enough, most of the time, so I’ll wish you a friendly day! :mrgreen:

19. Grannymar - November 15, 2014

There are only two questions that FB does not seem to want to know about me: What I had for lunch or when I was last at the Loo! I have similar difficulties with LinkedIn. I do not have an account with them or ever intend to join in.

nrhatch - November 15, 2014

I get lots of invites to join LinkedIn ~ sent out automatically by LinkedIn when friends join.

At first, I took the time to contact the friends to say I wasn’t interested, but they said they hadn’t intended to send it to me since I’m all fun & games these days, not business oriented.

So now I just delete them.

BTW: What did you have for lunch today? I had mac & cheese. 😛

Grannymar - November 15, 2014

I delete them too. Sometimes I wonder if some folks send these invitations in the hope of collecting favourable replies for an end result of looking popular!

Lunch today was that last of my home made Chicken and Mushroom soup with crusty bread.

nrhatch - November 15, 2014

Some may feel like “the more the merrier.” Others are trying to create a social media platform with BIG numbers.

Soup and crusty bread are perfect for wettish weather.

20. diannegray - November 15, 2014

I haven’t received one of these yet, but I know now that I’ve said that I’ll probably be inundated :;)

nrhatch - November 15, 2014

Fingers crossed that they don’t have you in their crosshairs. 😛

21. kateshrewsday - November 16, 2014

Very wise, Nancy: the more we release information about ourselves, the more complete the picture the great big corporations can build of us. Phil quotes “If you don’t buy the product, you are the product’ – Mark Zuckerberg, was it? It is vital not to succumb to the FB tactics!

nrhatch - November 16, 2014

I’m noting that more and more, Kate. That if I so much as look at a product on line . . . imbedded cookies rally the troops and I get bombarded with ads to get me to BUY that item.

That quote’s a truism these days ~ on FB, we are the lure that brings in the advertising $’s.

22. Three Well Beings - November 16, 2014

I love your photos, Nancy! They say it all. 🙂 I am almost paranoid about responding to anything FB asks of me. I am so concerned that I will in some way “betray” the trust of my friends and make someone else vulnerable. I haven’t seen this particular message, but it’s not one I’d like to respond to!

nrhatch - November 17, 2014

The first time I received it, I considered it. But when FB became increasingly insistent, I decided to “forgo the opportunity.”

I love the internet . . . but the cyber trail everyone leaves is scary.

23. Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com - November 18, 2014

Hi Nancy! Crazy huh? I get an email or two from them every day but thankfully (??) they are just a drop in the bucket compared to all the others I get. UGH…the price of being popular????

nrhatch - November 18, 2014

This new campaign has been rather ridiculous. Before I got 1-2 e-mails a week saying that I had an event invite, or a notification, or a friend with a birthday. This e-mail comes in 6-9 times a day!

24. beeblu - November 22, 2014

I have always been very anti-FB, but was dragged onto it, kicking and screaming by my investment club; and now I find it quite useful for keeping in touch mostly with family around the world. But, no doubt, it has the cr@ppest interface and usability of any site I use and is extremely annoying with its so-called targeted ads (I am NOT incontinent!) and obfuscating security and marketing tactics.

nrhatch - November 23, 2014

For many, it’s become a “necessary” evil. It’s not as user-friendly as it used to be. It’s hard to navigate and no longer provides “one stop shopping” in our feed. And the comment threads are so “vintage.”

Maybe today will be the day I “pull the plug.”

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