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The Tie Salesman October 18, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

IMGP3157bWhile crossing the Afghan desert, a fleeing Taliban terrorist saw something off in the distance.

Desperate for water, he hurried toward the oasis.  There, he found a frail old man standing at a small makeshift display rack, selling ties.

The terrorist asked, “Do you have water?”

The salesman replied, “No. No water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”

The terrorist shrieked, “Infidel! I do not need your over-priced western adornment. I spit on your ties. I need water!”

“Sorry, I have none – just ties – pure silk – and only $5.”

“Pahh! A curse on your ties. I should wrap one around your scrawny neck and put you out of your misery . . . but I must conserve my energy and find water!”

The salesman nodded. “It does not matter that you do not wish to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant with the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need.  Go In Peace.”

Cursing again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.


Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead, and gasped . . .

“They won’t let me in without a tie.”

Aah . . . that’s better!


1. Joseph E Rathjen - October 18, 2014

A guy is going through the desert carrying a car door with the window rolled up. A desert dweller on a camel comes by and asks him, “Why are you carrying that car door through the hot desert, my friend?” The guy looks at him and says, “In case it gets too hot, I can roll down the window and catch a breeze. Duh!”

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

I’d walk a mile for a Camel! 😛

2. Jill Weatherholt - October 18, 2014

Ha ha! That was great, Nancy! Are those your Halloween decorations? Scary fellas!

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

They are decorations from the Day of the Dead / Halloween celebration at Village of the Arts last year. They seemed perfect for this joke ~ probably because they remind me of Achmed the Dead Terrorist of Jeff Dunham fame.

Jill Weatherholt - October 18, 2014

They are perfect, Nancy!

3. Val Boyko - October 18, 2014

Scary good joke Nancy ! Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

My pleasure, Val.

4. livelytwist - October 18, 2014

Lol, didn’t he have a kalashnikov?
I am not oblivious to the double entendre, perhaps unintentional. It amuses me that although they decry Western infidels, their dependence on Western invention in this century and beyond, will only grow. 😉

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

This joke just makes me thirsty. 😛

5. Arlee Bird - October 18, 2014

I’d heard another version of this before but you told it well turning it into a good story.

Tossing It Out

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Thanks, Arlee. I did revise before posting.

If our thirsty terrorist been more in tune with his heart chakra, he could have saved himself an unfruitful 4-mile round-trip trek through the parched desert.

6. Silver in the Barn - October 18, 2014

Bahaha! Now I will be torturing myself for who the comedian was that did the terrorist routine? He was a ventriloquist? Ahhhh, who was it? Not that I’m expecting you to know, dear Nancy, I’m off to figure it out now!

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

I do know. See comment #2 ~ Achmed the Dead Terrorist of Jeff Dunham fame.

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Silver in the Barn - October 18, 2014

OMG!!! I am watching it right now. SILENCE!!! The eyebrows are cracking me up. Soooo funny.

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Jeff Dunham has some great puppets. My favorite is probably Walter . . . that cantankerous old dude.

The only one I don’t enjoy is Peanut with his buck teeth.

7. valleygrail - October 18, 2014

Funny! Your jokes are hilarious! Thanks for a good start to my day.

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Glad you enjoyed, VG. Hope you get your WP app back in synch with your preferences.

8. reocochran - October 18, 2014

I am laughing out loud at this one! I also liked all the comments and the addition of the man who is a comedian ventriloquist (Jeff Dunham) on the subject of terrorists! I am always glad to be leaving smiling and also better informed after checking in on a blog!

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Yay! Glad you enjoyed it, Robin. I post silly stuff most Saturdays.

9. ericjbaker - October 18, 2014

Haha. Cute. I’m attending a wedding tomorrow. I haven’t worn a tie since the last wedding I went to a couple years ago.

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Ties = more fun to wear at weddings than funerals. Enjoy yourself! Eat, drink, and be merry . . .

And if you get silly, take photos to share with us!

ericjbaker - October 18, 2014

I’ll totally forget to bring a camera

nrhatch - October 19, 2014

How convenient. 😛

10. beeblu - October 18, 2014

That’s justice!

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Yes! Perfect Karma.

11. Tiny - October 18, 2014

This WAS funny!! Almost as good as the Jeff Dunham piece…I’m still laughing.

nrhatch - October 18, 2014

Yay! I love it when jokes tickle our funny bones.

12. Three Well Beings - October 21, 2014

That’s a good one! And I do love the sombrero clad skeleton! He seems to be smiling. 🙂

nrhatch - October 21, 2014

Doesn’t he? A big bony grin! >:D

13. jannatwrites - October 21, 2014

Haha…I guess the tie wasn’t so useless after all 🙂

nrhatch - October 21, 2014

Always listen to the still silent voice within if it whispers, “Buy a tie.” 😛

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