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Stop, Thief! August 2, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Joke.

grumpy_thinkingGeorge Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was headed to bed when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light and saw two people in the shed stealing stuff.

He phoned the police to report the break in.  The dispatcher asked, “Are they breaking into your house?”

“No, they’re still in my garden shed.”

“OK.  All patrols are busy.  Lock your doors and an officer will be along as soon as one is available.”

Disgusted, George hung up the phone, counted to 30, and called back.

“Hi.  I called a few minutes ago to report two people stealing things from my shed.  You can cancel the dispatch.”

Pluto-Happy“Why’s that?”

“I shot and killed them both.  I think my dogs are eating them.  In any event, problem solved.”

As George hung up the phone, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said, “I thought you said you’d shot them.”

George said, “I thought the dispatcher said there was nobody available.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source:  e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Joe M.)



1. Jill Weatherholt - August 2, 2014

Nice one, George! 🙂

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

That’s using his noggin!

2. Don - August 2, 2014

I like that ! 🙂

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

There’s more than one way to report a theft and garner a response.

3. Grannymar - August 2, 2014

It is not what you say, but the way you say it! Thanks for the laugh, Nancy.

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

Quick thinking on his part!

4. Pix Under the Oaks - August 2, 2014

Love it!!!! Waiting to read it to CH! He is frying potato cakes.. 😀
Good Morning Nancy!

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

Good morning, Pix! Enjoy those potato cakes. Yum!

5. Silver in the Barn - August 2, 2014

Good morning and thanks for starting it off with a chuckle, Nancy.

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

I love these Saturday Sillies. :mrgreen:

6. William D'Andrea - August 2, 2014

This would be the good basis for a crime novel, or episode of a TV police series. Unfortunately, incidents like this actually do happen.

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

Perhaps it makes a better punch line than plot line. 😛

7. granny1947 - August 2, 2014

An oldie but goodie!!!

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

It might even be older than me! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 😎

8. katecrimmins - August 2, 2014

Kind of reminds of the anecdotes about getting service at ERs. You have to clutch your heart and say you’re dying or you will have to wait 6 hours!

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

Or reach over the counter, grab the triage nurse by the “lapels” on her scrubs, and scream . . . “I need pain killers. STAT!!!”

What? It worked for me. :mrgreen:

katecrimmins - August 2, 2014

I have to remember that!

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

An even better plan ~> stay well and out of ER’s.

ericjbaker - August 3, 2014

It works like a charm!

nrhatch - August 3, 2014

The screaming patient gets the pain pill.

9. colonialist - August 2, 2014

Strange that they pay more attention to dead ones than live ones! Maybe ‘cos the dead ones can’t start shooting at them.

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

That could be it, but I suspect the concern had to do with the dogs tampering with the evidence. 😎

Barbara’s got a post you might want to check out:

colonialist - August 2, 2014

That is tampering, indeed!
And it is amazing to know that some of our daily conversation is regarded as quaint that side of the puddle!

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

As you noted, you take better care of words . . . so they last longer. :mrgreen:

10. jannatwrites - August 2, 2014

Haha, this was great! Problem solved 🙂 That’s definitely one way to get their attention 🙂

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

I like seeing folks thinking outside the box.

11. valleygrail - August 2, 2014

I love it!

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

Yay! Glad you enjoyed, VG.

12. bluebee - August 2, 2014

The art of communication 😃

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

Yes. A master in action.

13. Patricia - August 2, 2014

George may have been elderly but he was definitely faster than the responders with his response.

nrhatch - August 2, 2014

Perfectly put, Patricia.

14. Eric Tonningsen - August 3, 2014

Funny and sad. Must people have to exaggerate a need for help to receive same? Don’t know if I’d have the cojones to do what Geo did.

nrhatch - August 3, 2014

Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Boo Who?

Don’t cry . . . it’s only a joke. :mrgreen:

15. Three Well Beings - August 3, 2014

This has a ring of truth to it! Smart man!

nrhatch - August 3, 2014

The best jokes do have a ring of truth . . . exaggerated for comic effect. 😎

16. Behind the Story - August 3, 2014

This started out sounding like a police dispatch in a small town newspaper–and ended with a good fast twist. Loved it.

nrhatch - August 3, 2014

I should share some more of the “Police Beat” from the island newspapers ~> the streaker wearing tennis shoes and a big smile (because his clothes were possessed) or the woman who called the police because someone was knocking on her front door (to deliver the pizza she’d forgotten ordering).

17. livelytwist - August 4, 2014

Now we know what to do! 🙂

nrhatch - August 4, 2014

Should the need ever arise.

18. pix & kardz - August 4, 2014

lol 🙂

nrhatch - August 5, 2014

Hi Kris. Glad it tickled your funny bone chakra.

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