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Classic Classifieds June 7, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
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Goofy-SurprisedClassified ads pulled from newspapers in the U.K.:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

Pluto-SnoozingFREE PUPPIES
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel
1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

Groom-&-Bride-catsWEDDING DRESS FOR SALE
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

 

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Comments»

1. Jill Weatherholt - June 7, 2014

These are hilarious, Nancy! I love it! Thanks for the Saturday morning laugh! 🙂

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Joe sends me some great e-mails . . . I should probably put him on the SLTW payroll. Oh, wait, there is no payroll.

I’m loving your new series, Jill. Thanks for hosting.

2. katecrimmins - June 7, 2014

These are the best!

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Glad you enjoyed, Kate. Nothing like laughter to get the day revved up right.

3. Maggie - June 7, 2014

My favorite is the one about the wedding dress.

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

The wording of that ad is priceless.

4. Silver in the Barn - June 7, 2014

Stephanie is my kind of girl! Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Mine too! Glad you enjoyed.

5. kateshrewsday - June 7, 2014

These are great 😀

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Understated British Humour at its best!

6. colonialist - June 7, 2014

I wonder if there was an overwhelming response for the Yorkie? You never know – some pet lovers like a challenge!

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Exactly right! Who needs a complacent pet when you can adopt one with a feisty attitude? 😎

7. http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com - June 7, 2014

Thank you for today’s laughter. They’re priceless!

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Glad you enjoyed! I find that a healthy dose of laughter is the best way to start the day.

8. Val Boyko - June 7, 2014

Grins, giggles and laughter!
Thank you 🙂

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Glad it gave you a good case of the grins and giggles.

9. Don - June 7, 2014

So good Nancy. Had a good laugh. Love these posts of yours.

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

Yay! Glad you enjoyed. As long as Joe/others keep ’em coming, I’ll keep sharing my “silly Saturday” posts.

10. Patricia - June 7, 2014

Great fun! Thanks for the laughs.

nrhatch - June 7, 2014

My pleasure, Patricia. Silly Saturday posts are often my favorite.

11. Grannymar - June 8, 2014

Thanks for the laughter, Nancy. I need to re-establish a routine for read regular reading and commenting on blogs.

nrhatch - June 8, 2014

I enjoy reading/ commenting on blogs but it’s time consuming. And it’s the first thing I let go of when time is tight.

But I hurry back at the first opportunity. 😎

12. Pix Under the Oaks - June 8, 2014

These are funny fun!!!!

nrhatch - June 8, 2014

Yay! Glad you enjoyed, Pix. Have a funny sunny Sunday!

13. ericjbaker - June 8, 2014

The Brits do dry wit better than anyone in the known multiverse.

nrhatch - June 8, 2014
ericjbaker - June 8, 2014

haha! Good stuff. John Cleese is among the funniest people to ever deploy the English language.

nrhatch - June 8, 2014

I grew up on Monty Python’s Flying Circus during high school.

As soon as I walk into someone’s house and see a penguin on the telly, or a dead parrot, I cannot breathe for laughing.

14. I am J - June 9, 2014

Too funny! The last one really made me laugh. I think my husband might agree with that one. Thanks for the hearty laughs.

nrhatch - June 9, 2014

Ha! Being married to a walking encyclopedia used to be a big deal before the internet and google. 😎

15. Eric Tonningsen - June 9, 2014

Enjoyed them all but the wedding dress ad took the cake (poor pun not intended). Thanks, Nancy.

nrhatch - June 9, 2014

The veiled meaning behind her words is perfect. 😎

16. jannatwrites - June 9, 2014

Oh, these are great! I laughed at nearly all of them (and now 2 of my cats are looking at me like I lost my mind. Perceptive animals 🙂 )

nrhatch - June 9, 2014

Haha . . . Sybil is one to “talk.” 😎


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