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Putting the Brakes on Spring Break March 21, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People.

It’s been a fast paced few weeks on the island as snow birds and spring breakers  converge and collide:

* A 16-year-old joy rider stole a car and led police in cars and helicopters on a jaunt around the area ~ over the river and into the bridge.  Before police punctured his tires, he side-swiped other vehicles and area infrastructure a total of 26 times ~ including 9 crashes into the protection rail on the Cortez Bridge.  Although the bridge survived the attack with nary a scratch, the “joy rider” is apt to get more than a slap on the wrist.


* Police are out in full force on the beaches, targeting spring-breakers breaking alcohol laws ~ both under-age drinking and the alcohol ordinance that prohibits open containers on the beach

“We have a little machine that we can wave over an open container and it will read whether or not it’s an alcoholic beverage.  We are looking for people who display signs of intoxication.  If the person is underage, we will do a Breathalyzer.”

Good thing my days of underage drinking on the beach are behind me.

Speaking of behinds, here’s The Full Monty . . .

* Island police arrested a man running up and down Bridge Street on Sunday, March 9, at 5 p.m.  The man was talking to himself as he ran.  “I think I can, I think I can.”

The problem?  Like the vain Emperor or a 70’s stadium streaker . . . no clothes!  Not a stitch on him.

“Oh, yes, they call him the streak.  Fastest thing on two feet.”

When ordered to stop by an officer in a patrol car, the man ran off.  “You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man.”

Subdued in front of the BeachHouse restaurant (where we wait to pick up our pizza), the subject told officers his clothes were “changing his internal biology of how he sees himself.”  As a result, he was no longer “in control of his mind.” Asked for his name, he replied, “Elijah the Prophet.”

An ambulance returned “Elijah” (a/k/a “the Gingerbread Man”) to Manatee Glens Mental Health Treatment Facility under the Baker Act after a warrant check revealed he’d run away from that facility.

I’m surprised Elijah the Prophet didn’t see that coming.

Spring Break ~ the perfect time to let your hair down and let it all hang out. “No shirt, no shoes . . . no problem.”  But that’s where we draw the line in the sand.

“No pants . . . no service!”

Aah . . . that’s better!


1. Rainee - March 21, 2014

It HAS been full of excitement. Recently our State Government Treasurer and local Member of Parliament did most of those things and still has his job :-).

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Lawmakers excel as lawbreakers ~ that sense of privilege and entitlement trips them up. Allowing us to catch them “red handed” with their pants down or their hand in the cookie jar.

Rainee - March 21, 2014

Our MP has gone to ground and has acquired a lawyer. He recently got drunk at a wedding and drove home and seemingly collided with several vehicles with his Govt. car. He is on leave and we are advised he had a mental breakdown. His track record is horrendous. A lot of people still support him and just think he is a ‘larrikin’ – a good bloke having harmless fun!

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Sounds a lot like Spring Breakers out joy riding while ignoring drunk driving laws.

Maybe (like Elijah) he is not in full control of his faculties?

2. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? - March 21, 2014

Wow! That was a busy Spring Break!

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

And we’re still in the thick of it! Most problems with Spring Break on the island are minor complaints of extra congestion and excessive noise . . . usually at 3 am.

3. katecrimmins - March 21, 2014

I have always disliked spring breakers even when I was young. For some reason a date on a calendar gives them the freedom to be stupid for a week. Your full monty is sure a…..FULL monty!

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Here’s hoping that they only act stupid for a week . . . and not for a lifetime. We get a few more spring breakers than years ago, but the really “hard core” (and “hard porn”) partiers tend to head west to the panhandle for Spring Break in Panama City. Suits me.

4. Carol Balawyder - March 21, 2014

It sure is exciting where you live:)

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Most of the time, the island is idyllic . . . but this time of year tends to bring out the crazies!

Carol Balawyder - March 21, 2014

At least you’re in the warmth and sunshine 🙂

nrhatch - March 22, 2014

The weather has been perfect for visitors and residents alike.

5. Pix Under the Oaks - March 21, 2014

One reason to not move to Florida???!!! Or move to Florida.. 😀 So much more exciting than watching cows graze behind the house!!! I am with Kate about spring breakers, just too much obnoxiousness for me.

Pix Under the Oaks - March 21, 2014

I so don’t like the new smilies.. have I mentioned that?

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Same here, Pix. The old mrgreen beats the new mrgreen, hands down! These new ones seem like cheap emoticons that you might find at the Dollar Store.

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Haha . . . they are more exciting than grazing cows, for sure!

6. ericjbaker - March 21, 2014

Definite shortage of spring breakers and streakers up here in the Garden State. Thankfully. Car chases, drunk driving, and mayhem… still plenty of that.

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Exactly! Who needs Spring Breakers to act crazy one or two weeks a year . . . when you can have Crazy Folks around 24/7?

7. Grannymar - March 21, 2014

We have the Crazy 24/7 Folk, but here they fight over flegs (Northern Irish for flags!) shoot and bomb people and say “No!” to everything. I had a couple of exciting days last week….. We had blue skies and sunshine for TWO WHOLE DAYS! It was not warm enough for streaking, and if it was, there would be no selfies!

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

I’m glad your days are warming up with sunshine streaming forth. Let’s hope the next wave of selfies doesn’t include tweeting the Full Monty.

Grannymar - March 21, 2014

Fingers crossed!

8. jannatwrites - March 21, 2014

Geez, I’m glad I don’t live in a spring break destination. I never did the spring break thing (too much idiocy) so I certainly don’t want to be subjected to it now that I’m comparatively “old” and cranky!

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

My senior year in college, I went to St. Thomas by myself for Spring Break ~ best trip ever! My friends headed for Florida where cold wet weather put a damper on their plans to “let it all hang out.” 😉

9. Behind the Story - March 21, 2014

Cute song!

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

I remember it fondly from the 70’s, but not sure I ever saw a video in the days before “I want my MTV.”

10. bluebee - March 21, 2014

Change-of-season madness!

nrhatch - March 21, 2014

Yes! The Vernal Equinox might have an effect on some people’s equilibrium.

11. Three Well Beings - March 22, 2014

I hadn’t thought of Ray Stevens and The Streak in a very long time! Spring Break and Florida are completely ripe for nonsense! And now that there isn’t just one universal week where all students are let loose, I wonder if the crazy antics, and dangerous ones, too, don’t just go on for weeks! I just always hope someone doesn’t get hurt!

nrhatch - March 22, 2014

Same here, Debra. Young + Crazy = Perfect Together!

“There’s a time and place for everything . . . and it’s called college.”

12. Don - March 22, 2014

Hell, I love your posts Nancy. The Gingerbread man made me laugh. I know there’s tragedy in it, but I couldn’t help but smile. By the way, the real Elijah was pretty eccentric as well. We’re told that he put his mantel on Elisha, but I think he still had some clothes on after doing that. 🙂

nrhatch - March 22, 2014

Thanks, Don. Whether we laugh or cry, Elijah is still going to have the same cards to play . . . so we might as well laugh.

I must have gingerbread on the brain ~> a gingerbread man yesterday and a gingerbread cottage today.

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